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She’s gone on 34 first dates in 19 countries over the past year. Here’s what she’s learned

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Loni James boarded a flight from Washington state to London last year with a duffel bag, a day pack and an unconventional itinerary.

It was late March, and her plan was simple: To travel the world and go on a date with a local in every country she visited.

Days after she arrived in London, she swiped right on Tinder and met a French and British dual citizen who loved traveling. Pints of beer with him at a pub near the Tower Bridge turned into a five-hour dinner date and long conversations about previous trips.

She never saw the man again. But so began her journey – one with no specific itinerary in mind. Over the past year, James says she’s used Tinder, Hinge and Bumble to go on 34 first dates in 19 countries, a series of romantic rituals full of intrigue, surprises and cultural firsts.

There was the 13-hour date in Cairo during the holy month of Ramadan – her first date with a Muslim – with a man who charmed her with his beaming smile and “Friends” TV show quotes on his Tinder profile. Her next date was with another Egyptian man in Alexandria who blurted out that he was engaged and spent the date yearning aloud for a past love.

“He clearly needed someone to listen and I was a safe space,” James says. “I’ve had incredibly intimate and vulnerable conversations with people. There’s something special that happens when people know they’re never going to see you again.”

There was a date in the Italian city of Verona with a charming classical musician who squired her around on a scooter and gave her a nighttime tour of the city’s many historic spots.

There was also a disastrous date in Turkey with a man who became angry when she rejected his physical advances and dropped her off at his paragliding shop, promising to return. He never did. After waiting for hours in a storm, Lane spent the night on a bench in the store.

A screenshot of Loni James' Tinder profile. - Courtesy Loni James

Her most recent date was with a South African man in Cape Town who whipped out a deck of cards over dinner and proceeded to do card tricks at the table.

But James, 40, says that even the bad dates have been memorable – and that all of them have taught her something.

“In the past, I looked at dating as a pass or fail. If I went out with someone on a date and it didn’t end in a goodnight kiss, or it didn’t end in the second date, I considered it a failure,” she says. “I don’t think of that anymore. I now realize the value of going on a date and being so grateful that someone opened up and gave you their time … shared their story with you.

“I’ve learned that romance comes in many forms,” she adds. “It doesn’t have to be expensive and there isn’t a certain formula that makes romance happen. For me, it’s when there’s connection and intentionality. It is the person who listens to you, who seeks to make you feel special, who wants to bring a smile to your face with a thoughtful gesture and the person who wants to know what you think and seeks to truly get to know you.”

Her mother’s death prompted her to seize the moment

James’ decision to go on a solo journey was borne out of tragedy.

She watched her mother battle early onset Alzheimer’s from age 48 to her death a year and a half ago at 63. It spurred James to seize the moment and launch her adventures.

“My parents had done everything right according to the American culture. They got married. They raised three kids … They had good jobs … they paid off the house,” she says. “They had big plans for their retirement, but my mom didn’t make it to retirement.”

James, who is not married and doesn’t have kids, started saving for her trip two years before her mother’s death in October 2021. She moved from Seattle to Spokane, Washington, rented a cheaper apartment and got a roommate. She later sold all her things and moved in with her parents to spend time with her sick mother during her final days.

She didn’t get a chance to share her travel plans with her mother before she died, but remembers a key piece of advice her mother gave her years ago before Alzheimer’s stole her ability to communicate.

“I told her about a boy I liked, and she told me to make sure he loved travel as much as I did,” she says. “That was really impactful, that in the midst of her disease, she knew how important that was for me … when looking for a partner.”

James’ international journey has coincided with an increase in solo travel, spurred partly by the pandemic.

James took this self portrait in the Sahara Desert in Mauritania. - Courtesy Loni James

Google searches in the US last month for “solo travel” were more than three times higher than in March 2020 in the United States.

“The uncertainty of being around others during a pandemic made travelers wary about traveling in groups,” says Janice Waugh, founder and publisher of Solo Traveler . “Many have continued to travel solo after discovering the benefits of solo travel such as flexibility, freedom, and personal growth.”

While it’s not unusual for solo travelers to find romance and friendship, it’s rare to date someone in every country you visit, Waugh says.

But James has thrown herself into the experience and embraced the good and the bad. She stays in hostels and Airbnbs or with friends and even friends of friends, always leaving room for spontaneity.

“People will just be at the hostel asking around, ‘Who wants to go here? Who’s free for seven days? Do you want to go do this?’ And you just end up with strangers in a car,” she says.

“I realized that long-term travel is so different than just going on vacation … for a week or two. I really wanted to lean into the culture, and I wanted to have a very different experience by being on the road for a long time.”

She takes steps to insure her safety

James says she is up front with her dates about her goal to date someone in each country she visits. She promises them anonymity, and except for sharing a few photos, declined to provide their contacts to CNN.

Maybe her most memorable experience was the 13-hour date last year with the Muslim man in Cairo. They shared conversations on everything from online dating to Muslim culture and arranged marriages. Because it was during Ramadan, they shared iftar – the meal eaten by fasting Muslims right after sunset.

James shared this traditional, post-sunset meal on a date with a Muslim man in Cairo last year during Ramadan. - Courtesy Loni James

“I’ve never had a man put so much effort in a date,” she says of their day together, which also included visits to museums and a monastery, a ride in a rickshaw and a nighttime folk-dance show in the desert. “There was so much food, it was so colorful. I tried all these new things. Egyptian food is amazing.”

She’s since had dates in Jordan, Cyprus, Turkey, Switzerland, France, Italy, Slovenia, Norway, Iceland, the Azores islands of Portugal, Morocco, Tunisia, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Namibia and South Africa.

She posts about her experiences on a blog and on Facebook and Instagram with the hashtag #ADateinEveryCountry, where numerous women offer comments and advice.

As a woman traveling alone, James says she is careful about safety. She shares her location with friends, doesn’t drink much alcohol, make sure her phone is charged and uses a ride-share app so she can exit a date on her own.

She communicates with men via the dating apps and doesn’t give out her phone number until after she has met a date in person. She also never allows a date to pick her up from where she’s staying.

Waugh, the expert on solo traveling, encourages women to meet dates in public places and be careful about who they approach to ask for directions.

“I meet people all the time and I do so by taking the first step. I think that it is more likely that an inappropriate person will choose me than I will choose them,” Waugh says. “I choose whom I talk to, where I go, or where I sit. If I need to ask for directions, my first choice is to approach a family and then perhaps a couple.”

James has not yet felt unsafe on a date, but she has had some frustrating experiences. Men have stood her up twice: in Paphos, Cyprus, and in Cape Town, South Africa.

James at the Ibn Tulun mosque in Cairo. "When I write about these places, I hope it builds a curiosity," she says. - Courtesy Loni James

Then there was the man in Zurich who picked her up in a Lotus, took her to dinner at an expensive restaurant despite her objections and ordered her food for her, along with a $84 glass of Chablis. Then he asked to split the bill, blowing her weekly budget.

“I know that it sounds glamorous, and some of my dates have been glamorous,” James says. “I’ve gone paragliding (in Fethiye, Turkey) on dates. I’ve also gone fishing in the Arctic Circle on dates. But I’ve been on some really weird ones, too.”

Her adventure has shifted her perspective on dating

James hasn’t returned to the US since she left in the spring of 2022. She plans several more months of traveling in Africa before heading to Asia, Australia and South America.

She hopes to turn her global adventure into a book that’s both entertaining and educational.

“Maybe someone’s not going to pick up a book about Egypt or Namibia or Tunisia. But maybe they would be intrigued by my dating story, and if they happen to learn these other things about this country during that dating story, then I consider that a huge bonus,” she says.

“I realize Egypt maybe isn’t on everybody’s bucket list, maybe Morocco isn’t, even Namibia. When I write about these places, I hope it builds a curiosity … I hope the stories make people laugh, dream and cross oceans to meet interesting people all over.”

Until then, she’ll keep traveling – for at least the next year. There’s so much more to see, so much more to do.

James still hasn’t found a partner. She says she’s open to having a boyfriend who lives in another country. But if it doesn’t happen, she’s relishing almost every moment of her journey.

“I love having the different races and religions and music and style and knowledge and background,” she says. “There’s just so much to be learned when you surround yourself with people from all different areas (of the world).”

James hiking near Mont Blanc on the French-Swiss border in the Alps. - Courtesy Loni James

Meeting up with men in different countries has shifted her perspective on dating, she says.

As a younger woman, she saw dating as a means to an end: to find a husband. But now, she says, she considers it a privilege to hear someone’s story and get to know them without the burden of expectations.

“I’ve learned that the challenges of modern dating exist everywhere,” she says. “People are still learning how to tackle online dating, and people still get ghosted. Being stood up sucks, even when it happens on a beautiful island. Your insecurities don’t just disappear when you cross an ocean.”

James says she’s glad she didn’t put off traveling until she had a partner, like she’d done in the past. The past year, she says, has taught her a lot about herself.

“I’ve learned that I’m the best version of myself when I’m traveling – the most open and the most curious,” she says. “I’m fascinated by the way that different countries approach the same things. I’m constantly reminded that there’s not one right way to do things.”

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Search for love takes 1 woman on 34 first dates in 19 countries

The 40-year-old decided to leave for London in the spring of 2022.

When Loni James decided to look for love , she wanted to cast a wide net -- and try to date around the world .

"I have always loved traveling and I realized that there's benefits of traveling long term and you get a really unique piece when you can be overseas for a longer period of time," James told "Good Morning America."

The 40-year-old Washington state native decided to leave for London in the spring of 2022. Since then, she's not only seen the sights but has been able to make connections. So far, she's gone on dates with 34 men in 19 different countries.

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"I went paragliding on a date, which was so much fun. I'm a big adventure junkie. And then I've had dates where it's just been incredible chemistry and we've had the best conversation and haven't looked at our phones for five hours," she said.

MORE: Helpful tips to deal with passport renewal, delays ahead of summer travel

James said she connects with the men through online apps and knows she has to be careful, including not sharing her personal information with strangers and making sure she stays connected to friends and family.

"I don't let people know exactly where I'm staying," she said. "I don't give out my number until I've met you. I share my location with people back in the States, actually a couple different time zones, just to cover my bases, because my time zone is always changing."

James was inspired to set out on this journey by her mother, who died after a longtime battle with Alzheimer's disease and never got to fully live out her retirement dreams.

"Life isn't guaranteed, retirement isn't guaranteed. I wanted to create the life that I wanted now and I didn't want to put it off and hope that it would be a possibility somewhere down the line," said James, who has since started a blog documenting her dating and traveling experiences.

James said she's learned a lot about personal connections. Since James said she is upfront with each man about her mission, she's found that men have been more willing to open up since there's no pressure for a second date.

"I sit across from someone, or go on a walk or go on an adventure and get to ask them about their culture," said James. "I get to ask them what it's like dating. I get to ask them about gender roles and their views on love and relationships."

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Here’s What This Woman Learned After Going On 34 Dates In 19 Countries

Globetrotting, at its finest. 

Loni James was a woman on a mission: to travel the world and date a local in every country she visited. Her solo journey, while seemingly happy, was actually born out of tragedy. James watched her mother battle with Alzheimer’s when she was 48, and watched her pass when she was 63. 

Since her mother’s passing, James decided to seize the moment and launch her adventures. It took her two years of working to gather the funds she needed, and she had to move to a cheaper apartment and got a roommate to share the bills. 

Now, after traveling to 19 countries and going on 34 dates in the past year alone, James has had her fair share of good and bad experiences. From a night out with a French and British dual citizen at a pub near the Tower Bridge that spanned into five hours to a 13-hour date in Cairo during Ramadan to a disastrous date in Turkey with a man who left her for hours in a storm because she refused his advances, James shared with CNN that each date has taught her something. 

Romance comes in many forms, she told CNN. There is no straightforward formula that makes romance happen on one date. “For me, it’s when there’s connection and intentionality. It is the person who listens to you, who seeks to make you feel special, who wants to bring a smile to your face with a thoughtful gesture, and the person who wants to know what you think and seeks to truly get to know you,” she said. 

Image credit: Loni James

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After Her Mother Died, This Woman Was Inspired. Here's What She Learned About Love Around the World

Loni James, a 40-year-old woman from Washington state, decided to fly across the globe to London last year with a simple plan: travel the world and go on a date with a local in each country along the way. Her brave decision to seize the moment was motivated by the passing of her mother, who battled early onset Alzheimer’s from age 48 until her death at age 63.

James has since gone on 34 first dates in 19 countries, using dating apps to find the potential partners that would introduce her to cultural firsts and give her a new perspective on love.

“In the past, I looked at dating as a pass or fail…I don’t think of that anymore,” she said. “I now realize the value of going on a date and being so grateful that someone opened up and gave you their time.”

James added, “I’ve learned that romance comes in many forms. It doesn’t have to be expensive and there isn’t a certain formula that makes romance happen. For me, it’s when there’s connection and intentionality. It is the person who listens to you, who seeks to make you feel special, who wants to bring a smile to your face with a thoughtful gesture and the person who wants to know what you think and seeks to truly get to know you.”

You can read more about her journey on CNN .

Question from the Editor: Have you been on a date in another country before?

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She's gone on 34 first dates in 19 countries over the past year. Here's what she's learned

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Loni James went on a road trip in Namibia, where she had a date in the capital of Windhoek. (Courtesy Loni James)

Loni James boarded a flight from Washington state to London last year with a duffel bag, a day pack and an unconventional itinerary.

It was late March, and her plan was simple: To travel the world and go on a date with a local in every country she visited.

Days after she arrived in London, she swiped right on Tinder and met a French and British dual citizen who loved travelling. Pints of beer with him at a pub near the Tower Bridge turned into a five-hour dinner date and long conversations about previous trips.

She never saw the man again. But so began her journey -- one with no specific itinerary in mind. Over the past year, James says she's used Tinder, Hinge and Bumble to go on 34 first dates in 19 countries, a series of romantic rituals full of intrigue, surprises and cultural firsts.

There was the 13-hour date in Cairo during the holy month of Ramadan -- her first date with a Muslim -- with a man who charmed her with his beaming smile and "Friends" TV show quotes on his Tinder profile. Her next date was with another Egyptian man in Alexandria who blurted out that he was engaged and spent the date yearning aloud for a past love.

"He clearly needed someone to listen and I was a safe space," James says. "I've had incredibly intimate and vulnerable conversations with people. There's something special that happens when people know they're never going to see you again."

There was a date in the Italian city of Verona with a charming classical musician who squired her around on a scooter and gave her a nighttime tour of the city's many historic spots.

There was also a disastrous date in Turkey with a man who became angry when she rejected his physical advances and dropped her off at his paragliding shop, promising to return. He never did. After waiting for hours in a storm, James spent the night on a bench in the store.

Her most recent date was with a South African man in Cape Town who whipped out a deck of cards over dinner and proceeded to do card tricks at the table.

But James, 40, says that even the bad dates have been memorable -- and that all of them have taught her something.

"In the past, I looked at dating as a pass or fail. If I went out with someone on a date and it didn't end in a goodnight kiss, or it didn't end in the second date, I considered it a failure," she says. "I don't think of that anymore. I now realize the value of going on a date and being so grateful that someone opened up and gave you their time ... shared their story with you.

"I've learned that romance comes in many forms," she adds. "It doesn't have to be expensive and there isn't a certain formula that makes romance happen. For me, it's when there's connection and intentionality. It is the person who listens to you, who seeks to make you feel special, who wants to bring a smile to your face with a thoughtful gesture and the person who wants to know what you think and seeks to truly get to know you."

Her mother's death prompted her to seize the moment

James' decision to go on a solo journey was borne out of tragedy.

She watched her mother battle early onset Alzheimer's from age 48 to her death a year and a half ago at 63. It spurred James to seize the moment and launch her adventures.

"My parents had done everything right according to the American culture. They got married. They raised three kids ... They had good jobs ... they paid off the house," she says. "They had big plans for their retirement, but my mom didn't make it to retirement."

James, who is not married and doesn't have kids, started saving for her trip two years before her mother's death in October 2021. She moved from Seattle to Spokane, Washington, rented a cheaper apartment and got a roommate. She later sold all her things and moved in with her parents to spend time with her sick mother during her final days.

She didn't get a chance to share her travel plans with her mother before she died, but remembers a key piece of advice her mother gave her years ago before Alzheimer's stole her ability to communicate.

"I told her about a boy I liked, and she told me to make sure he loved travel as much as I did," she says. "That was really impactful, that in the midst of her disease, she knew how important that was for me ... when looking for a partner."

James' international journey has coincided with an increase in solo travel, spurred partly by the pandemic.

Google searches in the US last month for "solo travel"  were more than three times higher than in March 2020 in the United States.

"The uncertainty of being around others during a pandemic made travellers wary about traveling in groups," says Janice Waugh, founder and publisher of  Solo Traveler . "Many have continued to travel solo after discovering the benefits of solo travel such as flexibility, freedom, and personal growth."

While it's not unusual for solo travellers to find romance and friendship, it's rare to date someone in every country you visit, Waugh says.

But James has thrown herself into the experience and embraced the good and the bad. She stays in hostels and Airbnbs or with friends and even friends of friends, always leaving room for spontaneity.

"People will just be at the hostel asking around, 'Who wants to go here? Who's free for seven days? Do you want to go do this?' And you just end up with strangers in a car," she says.

"I realized that long-term travel is so different than just going on vacation ... for a week or two. I really wanted to lean into the culture, and I wanted to have a very different experience by being on the road for a long time."

She takes steps to ensure her safety

James says she is up front with her dates about her goal to date someone in each country she visits. She promises them anonymity, and except for sharing a few photos, declined to provide their contacts to CNN.

Maybe her most memorable experience was the 13-hour date last year with the Muslim man in Cairo. They shared conversations on everything from online dating to Muslim culture and arranged marriages. Because it was during Ramadan, they shared iftar -- the meal eaten by fasting Muslims right after sunset.

"I've never had a man put so much effort in a date," she says of their day together, which also included visits to museums and a monastery, a ride in a rickshaw and a nighttime folk-dance show in the desert. "There was so much food, it was so colorful. I tried all these new things. Egyptian food is amazing."

She's since had dates in Jordan, Cyprus, Turkey, Switzerland, France, Italy, Slovenia, Norway, Iceland, the Azores islands of Portugal, Morocco, Tunisia, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Namibia and South Africa.

She posts about her experiences  on a blog  and on  Facebook  and  Instagram  with the hashtag #ADateinEveryCountry, where numerous women offer comments and advice.

As a woman traveling alone, James says she is careful about safety. She shares her location with friends, doesn't drink much alcohol, make sure her phone is charged and uses a ride-share app so she can exit a date on her own.

She communicates with men via the dating apps and doesn't give out her phone number until after she has met a date in person. She also never allows a date to pick her up from where she's staying.

Waugh, the expert on solo traveling, encourages women to meet dates in public places and be careful about who they approach to ask for directions.

"I meet people all the time and I do so by taking the first step. I think that it is more likely that an inappropriate person will choose me than I will choose them," Waugh says. "I choose whom I talk to, where I go, or where I sit. If I need to ask for directions, my first choice is to approach a family and then perhaps a couple."

James has not yet felt unsafe on a date, but she has had some frustrating experiences. Men have stood her up twice: in Paphos, Cyprus, and in Cape Town, South Africa.

Then there was the man in Zurich who picked her up in a Lotus, took her to dinner at an expensive restaurant despite her objections and ordered her food for her, along with a $84 glass of Chablis. Then he asked to split the bill, blowing her weekly budget.

"I know that it sounds glamorous, and some of my dates have been glamorous," James says. "I've gone paragliding (in Fethiye, Turkey) on dates. I've also gone fishing in the Arctic Circle on dates. But I've been on some really weird ones, too."

Her adventure has shifted her perspective on dating

James hasn't returned to the US since she left in the spring of 2022. She plans several more months of traveling in Africa before heading to Asia, Australia and South America.

She hopes to turn her global adventure into a book that's both entertaining and educational.

"Maybe someone's not going to pick up a book about Egypt or Namibia or Tunisia. But maybe they would be intrigued by my dating story, and if they happen to learn these other things about this country during that dating story, then I consider that a huge bonus," she says.

"I realize Egypt maybe isn't on everybody's bucket list, maybe Morocco isn't, even Namibia. When I write about these places, I hope it builds a curiosity ... I hope the stories make people laugh, dream and cross oceans to meet interesting people all over."

Until then, she'll keep traveling -- for at least the next year. There's so much more to see, so much more to do.

James still hasn't found a partner. She says she's open to having a boyfriend who lives in another country. But if it doesn't happen, she's relishing almost every moment of her journey.

"I love having the different races and religions and music and style and knowledge and background," she says. "There's just so much to be learned when you surround yourself with people from all different areas (of the world)."

Meeting up with men in different countries has shifted her perspective on dating, she says.

As a younger woman, she saw dating as a means to an end: to find a husband. But now, she says, she considers it a privilege to hear someone's story and get to know them without the burden of expectations.

"I've learned that the challenges of modern dating exist everywhere," she says. "People are still learning how to tackle online dating, and people still get ghosted. Being stood up sucks, even when it happens on a beautiful island. Your insecurities don't just disappear when you cross an ocean."

James says she's glad she didn't put off traveling until she had a partner, like she'd done in the past. The past year, she says, has taught her a lot about herself.

"I've learned that I'm the best version of myself when I'm traveling -- the most open and the most curious," she says. "I'm fascinated by the way that different countries approach the same things. I'm constantly reminded that there's not one right way to do things."

Loni James hiking near Mont Blanc on the French-Swiss border in the Alps. (Courtesy Loni James)

Loni James at the Ibn Tulun mosque in Cairo. "When I write about these places, I hope it builds a curiosity," she says. (Courtesy Loni James)

Loni James shared this traditional, post-sunset meal on a date with a Muslim man in Cairo last year during Ramadan. (Courtesy Loni James)

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By Faith Karimi of CNN

Loni James boarded a flight from Washington state to London last year with a duffel bag, a day pack and an unconventional itinerary.

It was late March, and her plan was simple: To travel the world and go on a date with a local in every country she visited.

Days after she arrived in London, she swiped right on Tinder and met a French and British dual citizen who loved travelling. Pints of beer with him at a pub near the Tower Bridge turned into a five-hour dinner date and long conversations about previous trips.

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She never saw the man again. But so began her journey - one with no specific itinerary in mind. Over the past year, James says she's used Tinder, Hinge and Bumble to go on 34 first dates in 19 countries, a series of romantic rituals full of intrigue, surprises and cultural firsts.

There was the 13-hour date in Cairo during the holy month of Ramadan - her first date with a Muslim - with a man who charmed her with his beaming smile and Friends TV show quotes on his Tinder profile. Her next date was with another Egyptian man in Alexandria who blurted out that he was engaged and spent the date yearning aloud for a past love.

"He clearly needed someone to listen and I was a safe space," James says. "I've had incredibly intimate and vulnerable conversations with people. There's something special that happens when people know they're never going to see you again."

There was a date in the Italian city of Verona with a charming classical musician who squired her around on a scooter and gave her a nighttime tour of the city's many historic spots.

There was also a disastrous date in Turkey with a man who became angry when she rejected his physical advances and dropped her off at his paragliding shop, promising to return. He never did. After waiting for hours in a storm, James spent the night on a bench in the store.

Her most recent date was with a South African man in Cape Town who whipped out a deck of cards over dinner and proceeded to do card tricks at the table.

But James, 40, says that even the bad dates have been memorable - and that all of them have taught her something.

"In the past, I looked at dating as a pass or fail. If I went out with someone on a date and it didn't end in a goodnight kiss, or it didn't end in the second date, I considered it a failure," she says. "I don't think of that anymore. I now realise the value of going on a date and being so grateful that someone opened up and gave you their time ... shared their story with you.

"I've learned that romance comes in many forms," she adds. "It doesn't have to be expensive and there isn't a certain formula that makes romance happen. For me, it's when there's connection and intentionality. It is the person who listens to you, who seeks to make you feel special, who wants to bring a smile to your face with a thoughtful gesture and the person who wants to know what you think and seeks to truly get to know you."

Her mother's death prompted her to seize the moment

James' decision to go on a solo journey was borne out of tragedy.

She watched her mother battle early onset Alzheimer's from age 48 to her death a year and a half ago at 63. It spurred James to seize the moment and launch her adventures.

"My parents had done everything right according to American culture. They got married. They raised three kids ... They had good jobs ... they paid off the house," she says. "They had big plans for their retirement, but my mom didn't make it to retirement."

James, who is not married and doesn't have kids, started saving for her trip two years before her mother's death in October 2021. She moved from Seattle to Spokane, Washington, rented a cheaper apartment and got a roommate. She later sold all her things and moved in with her parents to spend time with her sick mother during her final days.

She didn't get a chance to share her travel plans with her mother before she died, but remembers a key piece of advice her mother gave her years ago before Alzheimer's stole her ability to communicate.

"I told her about a boy I liked, and she told me to make sure he loved travel as much as I did," she says. "That was really impactful, that in the midst of her disease, she knew how important that was for me ... when looking for a partner."

James' international journey has coincided with an increase in solo travel, spurred partly by the pandemic.

Google searches in the US last month for "solo travel" were more than three times higher than in March 2020 in the United States.

"The uncertainty of being around others during a pandemic made travellers wary about travelling in groups," says Janice Waugh, founder and publisher of Solo Traveler . "Many have continued to travel solo after discovering the benefits of solo travel such as flexibility, freedom, and personal growth."

While it's not unusual for solo travellers to find romance and friendship, it's rare to date someone in every country you visit, Waugh says.

But James has thrown herself into the experience and embraced the good and the bad. She stays in hostels and Airbnbs or with friends and even friends of friends, always leaving room for spontaneity.

"People will just be at the hostel asking around, 'Who wants to go here? Who's free for seven days? Do you want to go do this?' And you just end up with strangers in a car," she says.

"I realised that long-term travel is so different from just going on vacation ... for a week or two. I really wanted to lean into the culture, and I wanted to have a very different experience by being on the road for a long time."

She takes steps to ensure her safety

James says she is up front with her dates about her goal to date someone in each country she visits. She promises them anonymity, and except for sharing a few photos, declined to provide their contacts to CNN.

Maybe her most memorable experience was the 13-hour date last year with the Muslim man in Cairo. They shared conversations on everything from online dating to Muslim culture and arranged marriages. Because it was during Ramadan, they shared iftar - the meal eaten by fasting Muslims right after sunset.

"I've never had a man put so much effort in a date," she says of their day together, which also included visits to museums and a monastery, a ride in a rickshaw and a nighttime folk-dance show in the desert. "There was so much food, it was so colourful. I tried all these new things. Egyptian food is amazing."

She's since had dates in Jordan, Cyprus, Turkey, Switzerland, France, Italy, Slovenia, Norway, Iceland, the Azores islands of Portugal, Morocco, Tunisia, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Namibia and South Africa.

She posts about her experiences on a blog and on Facebook and Instagram with the hashtag #ADateinEveryCountry, where numerous women offer comments and advice.

As a woman travelling alone, James says she is careful about safety. She shares her location with friends, doesn't drink much alcohol, makes sure her phone is charged and uses a ride-share app so she can exit a date on her own.

She communicates with men via the dating apps and doesn't give out her phone number until after she has met a date in person. She also never allows a date to pick her up from where she's staying.

Waugh, the expert on solo travelling, encourages women to meet dates in public places and be careful about who they approach to ask for directions.

"I meet people all the time and I do so by taking the first step. I think that it is more likely that an inappropriate person will choose me than I will choose them," Waugh says. "I choose whom I talk to, where I go, or where I sit. If I need to ask for directions, my first choice is to approach a family and then perhaps a couple."

James has not yet felt unsafe on a date, but she has had some frustrating experiences. Men have stood her up twice: in Paphos, Cyprus, and in Cape Town, South Africa.

Then there was the man in Zurich who picked her up in a Lotus, took her to dinner at an expensive restaurant despite her objections and ordered her food for her, along with a $84 glass of Chablis. Then he asked to split the bill, blowing her weekly budget.

"I know that it sounds glamorous, and some of my dates have been glamorous," James says. "I've gone paragliding (in Fethiye, Turkey) on dates. I've also gone fishing in the Arctic Circle on dates. But I've been on some really weird ones, too."

Her adventure has shifted her perspective on dating

James hasn't returned to the US since she left in the spring of 2022. She plans several more months of travelling in Africa before heading to Asia, Australia and South America.

She hopes to turn her global adventure into a book that's both entertaining and educational.

"Maybe someone's not going to pick up a book about Egypt or Namibia or Tunisia. But maybe they would be intrigued by my dating story, and if they happen to learn these other things about this country during that dating story, then I consider that a huge bonus," she says.

"I realise Egypt maybe isn't on everybody's bucket list, maybe Morocco isn't, even Namibia. When I write about these places, I hope it builds curiosity ... I hope the stories make people laugh, dream and cross oceans to meet interesting people all over."

Until then, she'll keep travelling - for at least the next year. There's so much more to see, so much more to do.

James still hasn't found a partner. She says she's open to having a boyfriend who lives in another country. But if it doesn't happen, she's relishing almost every moment of her journey.

"I love having the different races and religions and music and style and knowledge and background," she says. "There's just so much to be learned when you surround yourself with people from all different areas (of the world)."

Meeting up with men in different countries has shifted her perspective on dating, she says.

As a younger woman, she saw dating as a means to an end: to find a husband. But now, she says, she considers it a privilege to hear someone's story and get to know them without the burden of expectations.

"I've learned that the challenges of modern dating exist everywhere," she says. "People are still learning how to tackle online dating, and people still get ghosted. Being stood up sucks, even when it happens on a beautiful island. Your insecurities don't just disappear when you cross an ocean."

James says she's glad she didn't put off travelling until she had a partner, like she'd done in the past. The past year, she says, has taught her a lot about herself.

"I've learned that I'm the best version of myself when I'm travelling - the most open and the most curious," she says. "I'm fascinated by the way that different countries approach the same things. I'm constantly reminded that there's not one right way to do things."

83 episodes

There is more to life than living for the weekend and trying to strategically finagle your vacation time to coincide with holidays so you can travel for longer. There are ways to bring more travel into your life. It may feel scary or uncomfortable, but it is POSSIBLE. The first step to making your travel dreams come true, however that looks for you, is to believe it is possible. Listen for actionable tips and strategies about career breaks, remote work, and more, plus inspiring interviews from those who have been there. This is not your run-of-the-mill travel podcast. It's a career break podcast, a remote work podcast, a travel job podcast, a digital nomad podcast, you get the idea...It encompasses everything that can make travel possible and more accessible to YOU!

Travel Possibilities Cali O'Connor

• Society & Culture
• 5.0 • 21 Ratings
• MAY 16, 2023

Travel Story: Going on a Date in Every Country with Loni James

My guest today is Loni James, a writer, storyteller and adventurer. She quit her job almost 1 year ago and started traveling full-time. She decided to go on a date in every country as a way to meet people and learn about local cultures. She accidentally started writing about it, created a blog and now she's planning to write a book full of her stories and everything she's learning along the way. On top of dating, she also goes on a hike in every country and this has been a unique way to experience the beauty of these places she's dreamed of for so long. Loni's story has also recently been featured on CNN and Good Morning America. Want to learn more about Loni? Loni's Instagram Loni's Website   If you enjoyed today's episode and had a takeaway moment to share, be sure to take a screenshot and tag me (@thetravelshifters) and Loni (@jamesloni) on Instagram and let us know what it was! We love connecting with you.  Also, I invite you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. See you in the next episode! Links and Resources Free Travel Resources Want a resume revamp? Visit my website Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Join my Facebook Group Leave a Podcast Review or Rating

• MAY 23, 2023

Travel Story: It's Never Too Late to Quit Your Job and Travel the World with Cindy Sheahan

Get ready to be inspired by my guest Cindy Sheahan! In 2017, Cindy realized she wasn't getting any younger, the time was right and, "if not now, when?" so she quit her perfectly good job, packed a backpack and headed out the door alone to explore. Five plus years later, she's been to 38 countries - mostly solo - such as Turkey, Madagascar, Sri Lanka, Georgia, France, Italy and North Macedonia. She's visited over 400 cities and towns, countless hostels and homestays, hikes and treks all over the world including the Portuguese Camino. Along the way she's flown in a hot air balloon over Cappadocia Turkey, was a caretaker at a haunted villa in Tuscany, paraglided over burial sites in Madagascar, worked in a vineyard in New Zealand...and met a French paraglider on Tinder while in Nepal trekking, with whom she's traveled to 6 continents. Cindy moved to Portugal in October of 2022 and is living in Porto...for now. She's written for a women's travel group called She Hit Refresh, been featured in The Points Guy and the New York Times, and has been a panelist on a Digital Nomad online summit, and just recently, as a "Move to Portugal" expert in an online seminar by International Living. She has 4 amazing grown kids and one grandson, with another grandbaby on the way - they all live in Colorado and support, admire and join her when able to - and they are her biggest cheerleaders in this crazy adventure. Want to learn more about Cindy? Cindy's Instagram Cindy's Website Cindy's Facebook If you enjoyed today's episode and had a takeaway moment to share, be sure to take a screenshot and tag me (@thetravelshifters) and Cindy (@PostsFromAFlashpacker) on Instagram and let us know what it was! We love connecting with you.  Also, I invite you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. See you in the next episode! Links and Resources Free Travel Resources Want a resume revamp? Visit my website Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Join my Facebook Group Leave a Podcast Review or Rating

• MAY 30, 2023

Travel Story: From Probation to Traveling the World and Living Abroad with Jazzie Mas

My guest today, Jazzie Más, is a stand up comedian, expat consultant & content creator. She’s lived in 6 countries the last 5 years and is the owner of Black Digital Nomad a resource site for digital nomads of color.   Want to learn more about Jazzie? Jazzie's Instagram Jazzie's Website Jazzie's TikTok If you enjoyed today's episode and had a takeaway moment to share, be sure to take a screenshot and tag me (@thetravelshifters) and Jazzie (@BlackDigitalNomad ) on Instagram and let us know what it was! We love connecting with you.  Also, I invite you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. See you in the next episode! Links and Resources Free Travel Resources Want a resume revamp? Visit my website Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Join my Facebook Group Leave a Podcast Review or Rating

• JUN 6, 2023

Travel Story: Refusing to Settle--Unmarried, Child-free, and Nomadic with Julie B. Rose

My guest today is Julie B. Rose. She has been solo traveling full-time since selling her house and most of her belongings in 2020. In late 2021, she quit her high-profile corporate remote job in social media to take a career break from traditional full-time employment — to regain her time, mental energy, and creativity — to work on her upcoming memoir and other creative pursuits — and fully enjoy her travels and nomadic lifestyle without constraints. An unmarried, child-free woman who refuses to settle, she's passionate about financial freedom, female empowerment, and rebelling against societal expectations to be true to yourself. 50 states, 31 countries and counting. Want to learn more about Julie? Julie's Instagram Julie's Website Julie's Facebook Julie's Youtube If you enjoyed today's episode and had a takeaway moment to share, be sure to take a screenshot and tag me (@thetravelshifters) and Julie (@juliebrose) on Instagram and let us know what it was! We love connecting with you.  Also, I invite you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. See you in the next episode! Links and Resources Free Travel Resources Want a resume revamp? Visit my website Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Join my Facebook Group Leave a Podcast Review or Rating

• JUN 13, 2023

Travel Story: Full-time Travel as a Married Couple with Helen and Tim Schuckers

My guests today are Helen and Tim of Helen and Tim Travel. Helen and Tim are full-time adventure travelers based in the Pacific Northwest. They left their 9 to 5 jobs in January 2023 to travel the world. They have traveled and hiked in over 20+ countries and love to inspire others to get outdoors. Some of their favorite hiking destination Patagonia, Peru, Canadian Rockies, and the Swiss Alps. They are documenting their travels on their YouTube channel, "Helen and Tim Travel" with the goal to see the world one mountain at a time. They have enjoyed using the Financial Independence Retire Early (FIRE) strategies to help them save money for the past few years in order to travel long-term. Want to learn more about Helen and Tim? Helen and Tim's Instagram Helen and Tim's Website (subscribe to their newsletter) Helen and Tim's Youtube Packing Carry-on Only Video If you enjoyed today's episode and had a takeaway moment to share, be sure to take a screenshot and tag me (@thetravelshifters) and Helen & Tim (@helenandtimtravel) on Instagram and let us know what it was! We love connecting with you.  Also, I invite you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. See you in the next episode! Links and Resources Free Travel Resources Want a resume revamp? Visit my website Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Join my Facebook Group Leave a Podcast Review or Rating

• JUN 20, 2023

Travel Story: Going Nomadic and Traveling with Type 1 Diabetes with Jason Robinson

My guest today is Jason Robinson. Jason didn’t see his 3rd country until age 40, and over a few years did some super methodical experiments to push his comfort zone. He decided to go nomadic, then 8 months later COVID hit...and eight months after that he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, an auto-immune disease that requires constant attention. But that's not stopping him... Jason recently published “The Beginner Traveler’s Guide to Going Nomad" to help others struggling to break into travel overcome their hurdles, as well as a new hiking journal and logbook specifically for people that hike with Type 1 Diabetes. Want to learn more about Jason? Jason's Instagram Jason's Website The Beginner Traveler's Guide to Going Nomad* Logbook for Hiking with Type 1 Diabetes*   If you enjoyed today's episode and had a takeaway moment to share, be sure to take a screenshot and tag me (@thetravelshifters) and Jason (@thenomadexperiment) on Instagram and let us know what it was! We love connecting with you.  Also, I invite you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or a rating on Spotify. See you in the next episode! Links and Resources Free Travel Resources Want a resume revamp? Visit my website Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Join my Facebook Group Leave a Podcast Review or Rating *Some items may contain affiliate links meaning I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you should you purchase through these links. Your support is appreciated!

Customer Reviews

Very fun and informative podcast.

Cali is a great podcast host! Each season gives great advice on digital nomad lifestyle, travel, and unconventional lifestyles. Her story is inspiring! It’s great to have a podcast that deep dives into different paths of travel and work. Look forward to future seasons!

So Inspiring!!

Cali has a contagious energy while hosting these podcasts! She draws out the best stories from her guests and ties everything together so well. She definitely has a real talent. As her guest it was a pleasure to work with her on this episode. We talked about the importance of solo travel - at any age! - and how staying flexible can bring the most delightful surprises along the way! I love how this series talks about unusual travel possibilities in meaningful ways. Really glad to have a new podcast series to listen to. Thanks Cali.

Dare to be different!

I love this podcast and the information shared that is some of the less traditional routes you can go in life! There’s so much great information and it’s shared in an entertaining way!

Top Podcasts In Society & Culture

• #adateineverycountry

About this blog

Writing about my dates and the cultures I visit has been such a fun way to engage with people. I could not have foreseen the amount of support I've received. Please subscribe so you can follow along with my journey. I'd love to turn this into a book one day so thanks for following along!

Subscribe = Each New Date Delivered to Your Inbox

Be sure to subscribe and confirm your email. You'll get each new date post sent directly to your email so you wont miss any! You can click #adateineverycountry to see everything in chronological order. If you're new here, grab a drink and start from Date #1 . I absolutely cannot wait to hear what you think so be sure to comment or send me a message! Happy Reading!

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CNN Sans ™ & © 2024 Cable News Network.

Ha tenido 34 primeras citas en 19 países durante el último año. Esto es lo que ha aprendido

Por Faith Karimi

(CNN) -- Loni James abordó un vuelo del estado de Washington a Londres el año pasado con una bolsa de lona, ​​una mochila y un itinerario poco convencional.

Era finales de marzo y su plan era simple: viajar por el mundo y tener una cita con un local en cada país que visitara.

Días después de su llegada a Londres, deslizó a la derecha en Tinder y conoció a un ciudadano con doble nacionalidad francesa y británica al que le encantaba viajar. Pintas de cerveza con él en un pub cerca del Tower Bridge se convirtieron en una cena de cinco horas y largas conversaciones sobre viajes anteriores.

Nunca volvió a ver al hombre. Pero así comenzó su viaje, uno sin un itinerario específico en mente. Durante el año pasado, James dice que usó Tinder, Hinge y Bumble para tener 34 primeras citas en 19 países, una serie de rituales románticos llenos de intriga, sorpresas y primicias culturales.

• ¿Etiqueta para las aplicaciones de citas? Recomendaciones para tener mejores resultados (y menos decepciones)

Hubo una cita de 13 horas en El Cairo durante el mes sagrado del Ramadán, su primera cita con un musulmán, con un hombre que la cautivó con su sonrisa radiante y las citas del programa de televisión "Friends" en su perfil de Tinder. Su próxima cita fue con otro hombre egipcio en Alejandría, quien le dijo que estaba comprometido y pasó la cita añorando en voz alta un amor pasado.

“Claramente necesitaba a alguien que lo escuchara y yo era un espacio seguro”, dice James. “He tenido conversaciones increíblemente íntimas y vulnerables con personas. Hay algo especial que sucede cuando las personas saben que nunca te volverán a ver”.

Tuvo una cita en la ciudad italiana de Verona con un encantador músico clásico que la paseó en una scooter y le dio un recorrido nocturno por los muchos lugares históricos de la ciudad.

También hubo una cita desastrosa en Turquía con un hombre que se enojó cuando ella rechazó sus avances físicos y la dejó en su tienda de parapente, prometiendo regresar. Nunca lo hizo. Después de esperar durante horas en medio de una tormenta, Lane pasó la noche en un banco de la tienda.

Una captura de pantalla del perfil de Tinder de Loni James. (Cortesía Loni James)

Su cita más reciente fue con un hombre sudafricano en Ciudad del Cabo que sacó una baraja de cartas durante la cena y procedió a hacer trucos de cartas en la mesa.

Pero James, de 40 años, dice que incluso las malas citas fueron memorables y que todas ellas le enseñaron algo.

“En el pasado, veía las citas como un éxito o un fracaso. Si salía con alguien en una cita y no terminaba en un beso de buenas noches, o no terminaba en la segunda cita, lo consideraba un fracaso”, dice. “Ya no pienso en eso. Ahora me doy cuenta del valor de tener una cita y estar tan agradecida de que alguien se abrió y te dio su tiempo... compartió su historia contigo".

“He aprendido que el romance se presenta de muchas formas”, agrega. “No tiene que ser caro y no hay una fórmula determinada que haga que suceda. Para mí, es cuando hay conexión e intencionalidad. Es la persona que te escucha, la que busca hacerte sentir especial, la que quiere sacarte una sonrisa con un gesto considerado y la persona que quiere saber lo que piensas y busca conocerte de verdad”.

La muerte de su madre la impulsó a aprovechar el momento

La decisión de James de emprender un viaje en solitario surgió de la tragedia.

Observó a su madre luchar contra el alzhéimer de inicio temprano desde los 48 años hasta su muerte hace un año y medio a los 63. James animó a aprovechar el momento y lanzar sus aventuras.

“Mis padres habían hecho todo bien según la cultura estadounidense. Se casaron. Criaron a tres hijos... Tenían buenos trabajos... pagaron la casa”, dice ella. “Tenían grandes planes para su jubilación, pero mi mamá no llegó a la jubilación”.

James, que no está casada ni tiene hijos, comenzó a ahorrar para su viaje dos años antes de la muerte de su madre en octubre de 2021. Se mudó de Seattle a Spokane, Washington, alquiló un apartamento más barato y consiguió una compañera de cuarto. Más tarde vendió todas sus cosas y se mudó con sus padres para pasar tiempo con su madre enferma durante sus últimos días.

No tuvo la oportunidad de compartir sus planes de viaje con su madre antes de morir, pero recuerda un consejo clave que su madre le dio hace años antes de que el alzhéimer le robara la capacidad de comunicarse.

“Le hablé de un chico que me gustaba y me dijo que me asegurara de que le encantaba viajar tanto como a mí”, dice. “Eso fue realmente impactante, que en medio de su enfermedad, supiera lo importante que era para mí… a la hora de buscar pareja”.

El viaje internacional de James coincidió con un aumento de los viajes en solitario, impulsado en parte por la pandemia.

James tomó este autorretrato en el desierto del Sahara en Mauritania. (Cortesía Loni James)

Las búsquedas de Google el mes pasado para "viajar solo" fueron más de tres veces más altas que en marzo de 2020 en Estados Unidos.

“La incertidumbre de estar cerca de otras personas durante una pandemia hizo que los viajeros desconfiaran de viajar en grupos”, dice Janice Waugh, fundadora y editora de Solo Traveler. “Muchos siguieron viajando solos después de descubrir los beneficios de hacerlo, como la flexibilidad, la libertad y el crecimiento personal”.

Si bien no es inusual que los viajeros solitarios encuentren el romance y la amistad, es raro salir con alguien en cada país que visitas, dice Waugh.

Pero James se lanzó a la experiencia y abrazó lo bueno y lo malo. Se hospeda en hosteles y airbnb o con amigos e incluso amigos de amigos, siempre dejando espacio a la espontaneidad.

“La gente simplemente estará en el albergue preguntando: ‘¿Quién quiere ir aquí? ¿Quién está libre durante siete días? ¿Quieres ir a hacer esto?’ Y terminas con extraños en un auto”, comenta.

“Me di cuenta de que los viajes a largo plazo son muy diferentes a simplemente irse de vacaciones… por una semana o dos. Tenía muchas ganas de apoyarme en la cultura y quería tener una experiencia muy diferente estando de gira durante mucho tiempo”.

James toma medidas para asegurar su seguridad

James dice que es sincera con sus citas sobre su objetivo de salir con alguien en cada país que visita. Ella les promete el anonimato y, excepto por compartir algunas fotos, se negó a proporcionar sus contactos a CNN.

Tal vez su experiencia más memorable fue la cita de 13 horas el año pasado con el hombre musulmán en El Cairo. Compartieron conversaciones sobre todo, desde citas en línea hasta cultura musulmana y matrimonios concertados. Debido a que fue durante el Ramadán, compartieron iftar, la comida que comen los musulmanes en ayunas justo después del atardecer.

James compartió esta comida tradicional después del atardecer en una cita con un hombre musulmán en El Cairo el año pasado durante el Ramadán. (Cortesía Loni James)

“Nunca había tenido un hombre que se esforzara tanto en una cita”, dice sobre su día juntos, que también incluyó visitas a museos y un monasterio, un paseo en un rickshaw y un espectáculo nocturno de danza folclórica en el desierto. “Había tanta comida, era tan colorido. Probé todas estas cosas nuevas. La comida egipcia es increíble".

Desde entonces ha tenido citas en Jordania, Chipre, Turquía, Suiza, Francia, Italia, Eslovenia, Noruega, Islandia, las islas Azores de Portugal, Marruecos, Túnez, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Namibia y Sudáfrica.

Publica sus experiencias en un blog y en Facebook e Instagram con el hashtag #ADateinEveryCountry, donde numerosas mujeres ofrecen comentarios y consejos.

Como mujer que viaja sola, James dice que tiene cuidado con la seguridad. Comparte su ubicación con amigos, no bebe mucho alcohol, se asegura de que su teléfono esté cargado y usa una aplicación de viaje compartido para poder salir de una cita por su cuenta.

Se comunica con los hombres a través de las aplicaciones de citas y no da su número de teléfono hasta después de conocer a una cita en persona. Tampoco permite que una cita la recoja del lugar donde se hospeda.

Waugh, la experta en viajes en solitario, alienta a las mujeres a encontrar citas en lugares públicos y tener cuidado con las personas a las que se acercan para pedir direcciones.

“Conozco gente todo el tiempo y lo hago dando el primer paso. Creo que es más probable que una persona inapropiada me elija a mí que yo a ella”, dice Waugh. “Yo elijo con quién hablo, a dónde voy o dónde me siento. Si necesito pedir direcciones, mi primera opción es acercarme a una familia y luego quizás a una pareja”.

James aún no se ha sentido insegura en una cita, pero ha tenido algunas experiencias frustrantes. Los hombres la han plantado dos veces: en Paphos, Chipre, y en Ciudad del Cabo, Sudáfrica.

James en la mezquita de Ibn Tulun en El Cairo. "Cuando escribo sobre estos lugares, espero que genere curiosidad", dice. (CortesÍa Loni James)

Luego estaba el hombre en Zúrich que la recogió en un Lotus, la llevó a cenar a un restaurante costoso a pesar de sus objeciones y le pidió comida, junto con una copa de Chablis de US$ 84. Luego le pidió dividir la cuenta y arruinó su presupuesto semanal.

“Sé que suena glamoroso, y algunas de mis citas han sido glamorosas”, dice James. “He ido en parapente (en Fethiye, Turquía) en citas. También he ido a pescar en el Círculo Polar Ártico en citas. Pero también he estado en algunas realmente extrañas”.

Su aventura cambió su perspectiva sobre las citas

James no ha regresado a EE.UU. desde que se fue en la primavera de 2022. Planea viajar varios meses más por África antes de dirigirse a Asia, Australia y Sudamérica.

Espera convertir su aventura global en un libro que sea a la vez entretenido y educativo.

“Tal vez alguien no va a elegir un libro sobre Egipto, Namibia o Túnez. Pero tal vez estarían intrigados por mi historia de citas, y si descubren estas otras cosas sobre este país durante esa historia de citas, entonces lo considero una gran ventaja”, asegura.

“Me doy cuenta de que Egipto tal vez no esté en la lista de deseos de todos, tal vez Marruecos no lo esté, incluso Namibia. Cuando escribo sobre estos lugares, espero que genere curiosidad... Espero que las historias hagan reír a la gente, soñar y cruzar océanos para conocer gente interesante por todas partes”.

Hasta entonces, seguirá viajando, al menos durante el próximo año. Hay mucho más que ver, mucho más que hacer.

James todavía no encuentra pareja. Dice que está abierta a tener un novio que viva en otro país. Pero si no sucede, disfruta casi cada momento de su viaje.

“Me encanta tener diferentes razas y religiones y música y estilo y conocimiento y antecedentes”, dice. “Hay tanto que aprender cuando te rodeas de personas de todas las diferentes áreas (del mundo)”.

James, caminando cerca del Mont Blanc en la frontera franco-suiza en los Alpes. (Cortesía Loni James)

Conocer hombres en diferentes países cambió su perspectiva sobre las citas, comenta.

Cuando era más joven, vio las citas como un medio para un fin: encontrar marido. Pero ahora, dice, considera un privilegio escuchar la historia de alguien y conocerlo sin el peso de las expectativas.

“Aprendí que los desafíos de las citas modernas existen en todas partes”, asegura. “La gente todavía aprende cómo abordar las citas en línea, y a la gente todavía se le ignora. Que te dejen plantada apesta, incluso cuando sucede en una hermosa isla. Tus inseguridades no desaparecen simplemente cuando cruzas un océano”.

James dice que está contenta de no haber aplazado los viajes hasta tener una pareja, como había hecho en el pasado. Antes, asegura, le ha enseñado mucho sobre sí misma.

• Apr 3, 2023

She’s gone on 34 first dates in 19 countries over the past year. Here’s what she’s learned

By Andrea McGinty, https://www.33000Dates.com

So, who says you need to be young to do this? What fun......

Article by CNN Travle and photo courtesy of Loni James

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/loni-james-international-first-dates-cec/index.html

By Faith Karimi, CNN

Updated 8:04 AM EDT, Mon April 3, 2023

Loni James went on a road trip in Namibia, where she had a date in the capital of Windhoek.

Courtesy Loni James

Editor’s Note: Sign up for Unlocking the World, CNN Travel’s weekly newsletter. Get the latest news in aviation, food and drink, where to stay and other travel developments.

Loni James boarded a flight from Washington state to London last year with a duffel bag, a day pack and an unconventional itinerary.

It was late March, and her plan was simple: To travel the world and go on a date with a local in every country she visited.

Days after she arrived in London, she swiped right on Tinder and met a French and British dual citizen who loved traveling. Pints of beer with him at a pub near the Tower Bridge turned into a five-hour dinner date and long conversations about previous trips.

She never saw the man again. But so began her journey – one with no specific itinerary in mind. Over the past year, James says she’s used Tinder, Hinge and Bumble to go on 34 first dates in 19 countries, a series of romantic rituals full of intrigue, surprises and cultural firsts.

There was the 13-hour date in Cairo during the holy month of Ramadan – her first date with a Muslim – with a man who charmed her with his beaming smile and “Friends” TV show quotes on his Tinder profile. Her next date was with another Egyptian man in Alexandria who blurted out that he was engaged and spent the date yearning aloud for a past love.

“He clearly needed someone to listen and I was a safe space,” James says. “I’ve had incredibly intimate and vulnerable conversations with people. There’s something special that happens when people know they’re never going to see you again.”

There was a date in the Italian city of Verona with a charming classical musician who squired her around on a scooter and gave her a nighttime tour of the city’s many historic spots.

There was also a disastrous date in Turkey with a man who became angry when she rejected his physical advances and dropped her off at his paragliding shop, promising to return. He never did. After waiting for hours in a storm, James spent the night on a bench in the store.

Her most recent date was with a South African man in Cape Town who whipped out a deck of cards over dinner and proceeded to do card tricks at the table.

But James, 40, says that even the bad dates have been memorable – and that all of them have taught her something.

“In the past, I looked at dating as a pass or fail. If I went out with someone on a date and it didn’t end in a goodnight kiss, or it didn’t end in the second date, I considered it a failure,” she says. “I don’t think of that anymore. I now realize the value of going on a date and being so grateful that someone opened up and gave you their time … shared their story with you.

“I’ve learned that romance comes in many forms,” she adds. “It doesn’t have to be expensive and there isn’t a certain formula that makes romance happen. For me, it’s when there’s connection and intentionality. It is the person who listens to you, who seeks to make you feel special, who wants to bring a smile to your face with a thoughtful gesture and the person who wants to know what you think and seeks to truly get to know you.”

Her mother’s death prompted her to seize the moment

James’ decision to go on a solo journey was borne out of tragedy.

She watched her mother battle early onset Alzheimer’s from age 48 to her death a year and a half ago at 63. It spurred James to seize the moment and launch her adventures.

“My parents had done everything right according to the American culture. They got married. They raised three kids … They had good jobs … they paid off the house,” she says. “They had big plans for their retirement, but my mom didn’t make it to retirement.”

James, who is not married and doesn’t have kids, started saving for her trip two years before her mother’s death in October 2021. She moved from Seattle to Spokane, Washington, rented a cheaper apartment and got a roommate. She later sold all her things and moved in with her parents to spend time with her sick mother during her final days.

She didn’t get a chance to share her travel plans with her mother before she died, but remembers a key piece of advice her mother gave her years ago before Alzheimer’s stole her ability to communicate.

“I told her about a boy I liked, and she told me to make sure he loved travel as much as I did,” she says. “That was really impactful, that in the midst of her disease, she knew how important that was for me … when looking for a partner.”

James’ international journey has coincided with an increase in solo travel, spurred partly by the pandemic.

James took this self portrait in the Sahara Desert in Mauritania.

Google searches in the US last month for “solo travel” were more than three times higher than in March 2020 in the United States.

“The uncertainty of being around others during a pandemic made travelers wary about traveling in groups,” says Janice Waugh, founder and publisher of Solo Traveler. “Many have continued to travel solo after discovering the benefits of solo travel such as flexibility, freedom, and personal growth.”

While it’s not unusual for solo travelers to find romance and friendship, it’s rare to date someone in every country you visit, Waugh says.

But James has thrown herself into the experience and embraced the good and the bad. She stays in hostels and Airbnbs or with friends and even friends of friends, always leaving room for spontaneity.

“People will just be at the hostel asking around, ‘Who wants to go here? Who’s free for seven days? Do you want to go do this?’ And you just end up with strangers in a car,” she says.

“I realized that long-term travel is so different than just going on vacation … for a week or two. I really wanted to lean into the culture, and I wanted to have a very different experience by being on the road for a long time.”

She takes steps to ensure her safety

James says she is up front with her dates about her goal to date someone in each country she visits. She promises them anonymity, and except for sharing a few photos, declined to provide their contacts to CNN.

Maybe her most memorable experience was the 13-hour date last year with the Muslim man in Cairo. They shared conversations on everything from online dating to Muslim culture and arranged marriages. Because it was during Ramadan, they shared iftar – the meal eaten by fasting Muslims right after sunset.

James shared this traditional, post-sunset meal on a date with a Muslim man in Cairo last year during Ramadan.

“I’ve never had a man put so much effort in a date,” she says of their day together, which also included visits to museums and a monastery, a ride in a rickshaw and a nighttime folk-dance show in the desert. “There was so much food, it was so colorful. I tried all these new things. Egyptian food is amazing.”

She’s since had dates in Jordan, Cyprus, Turkey, Switzerland, France, Italy, Slovenia, Norway, Iceland, the Azores islands of Portugal, Morocco, Tunisia, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Namibia and South Africa.

She posts about her experiences on a blog and on Facebook and Instagram with the hashtag #ADateinEveryCountry , where numerous women offer comments and advice.

As a woman traveling alone, James says she is careful about safety. She shares her location with friends, doesn’t drink much alcohol, make sure her phone is charged and uses a ride-share app so she can exit a date on her own.

She communicates with men via the dating apps and doesn’t give out her phone number until after she has met a date in person. She also never allows a date to pick her up from where she’s staying.

Waugh, the expert on solo traveling, encourages women to meet dates in public places and be careful about who they approach to ask for directions.

“I meet people all the time and I do so by taking the first step. I think that it is more likely that an inappropriate person will choose me than I will choose them,” Waugh says. “I choose whom I talk to, where I go, or where I sit. If I need to ask for directions, my first choice is to approach a family and then perhaps a couple.”

James has not yet felt unsafe on a date, but she has had some frustrating experiences. Men have stood her up twice: in Paphos, Cyprus, and in Cape Town, South Africa.

James at the Ibn Tulun mosque in Cairo. "When I write about these places, I hope it builds a curiosity," she says.

Then there was the man in Zurich who picked her up in a Lotus, took her to dinner at an expensive restaurant despite her objections and ordered her food for her, along with a $84 glass of Chablis. Then he asked to split the bill, blowing her weekly budget.

“I know that it sounds glamorous, and some of my dates have been glamorous,” James says. “I’ve gone paragliding (in Fethiye, Turkey) on dates. I’ve also gone fishing in the Arctic Circle on dates. But I’ve been on some really weird ones, too.”

Her adventure has shifted her perspective on dating

James hasn’t returned to the US since she left in the spring of 2022. She plans several more months of traveling in Africa before heading to Asia, Australia and South America.

She hopes to turn her global adventure into a book that’s both entertaining and educational.

“Maybe someone’s not going to pick up a book about Egypt or Namibia or Tunisia. But maybe they would be intrigued by my dating story, and if they happen to learn these other things about this country during that dating story, then I consider that a huge bonus,” she says.

“I realize Egypt maybe isn’t on everybody’s bucket list, maybe Morocco isn’t, even Namibia. When I write about these places, I hope it builds a curiosity … I hope the stories make people laugh, dream and cross oceans to meet interesting people all over.”

Until then, she’ll keep traveling – for at least the next year. There’s so much more to see, so much more to do.

James still hasn’t found a partner. She says she’s open to having a boyfriend who lives in another country. But if it doesn’t happen, she’s relishing almost every moment of her journey.

“I love having the different races and religions and music and style and knowledge and background,” she says. “There’s just so much to be learned when you surround yourself with people from all different areas (of the world).”

James hiking near Mont Blanc on the French-Swiss border in the Alps.

Meeting up with men in different countries has shifted her perspective on dating, she says.

As a younger woman, she saw dating as a means to an end: to find a husband. But now, she says, she considers it a privilege to hear someone’s story and get to know them without the burden of expectations.

“I’ve learned that the challenges of modern dating exist everywhere,” she says. “People are still learning how to tackle online dating, and people still get ghosted. Being stood up sucks, even when it happens on a beautiful island. Your insecurities don’t just disappear when you cross an ocean.”

James says she’s glad she didn’t put off traveling until she had a partner, like she’d done in the past. The past year, she says, has taught her a lot about herself.

“I’ve learned that I’m the best version of myself when I’m traveling – the most open and the most curious,” she says. “I’m fascinated by the way that different countries approach the same things. I’m constantly reminded that there’s not one right way to do things.”

#lonijames #lonijamesdatingexpert

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