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End-of-Life Stages Timeline

What to expect as someone nears death

• 40 to 90 Days Before
• 1 to 2 Weeks Before
• Days to Hours Before

Frequently Asked Questions

The dying process usually begins well before death takes place. There are often signs 40 days (or more) before death where people move through end-of-life stages that follow a general timeline.

Being tuned in to the physical, mental, and emotional changes of your loved one can help you recognize the signs that they're dying. Knowing more about the end-of-life process may help you better prepare for what's to come.

This article explains a typical end-of-life timeline and what happens to someone mentally, behaviorally, and physically. While some people may follow this closely, not everyone experiences all stages and some may cycle through the stages far faster (even within days) or for months.

Signs: 40 to 90 Days Before Death

The dying process often comes into view about 40 to 90 days before death. Many of the experiences that take place at this first end-of-life stage are broadly common but the specifics can differ for each individual. A healthcare provider may be able to give you a sense of your loved one's expected timeline as they move through these stages.

Physical Changes

As the body starts to slow down, a dying person may have the following physical signs:

• Reduced appetite
• Reduced thirst
• Increased sleeping
• Weight loss
• Mild sense of happiness and well-being ( euphoria ) due to natural changes in body chemistry

The reduced appetite and weight loss can be alarming, but it helps to know your loved one isn't suffering in any way by not eating. Their energy needs decrease when they stop regular activities and start sleeping more.

As the body slows down to prepare for death, the metabolism slows down and requires less food. The digestive tract is also less active, which means a dying person won't feel hungry or thirsty.

Mental and Behavioral Changes

Social and cultural factors help shape a person's dying experience. For example, gender roles can be a factor.

Talking Openly About Death

Research suggests men are less likely than women to talk openly about their mortality and end-of-life wishes. One reason might be that men find it more difficult to ask for help and don't want to come across as "needy."

These differences aren't necessarily unique to one gender identity, though. Plenty of women struggle to talk about their deaths and don't want anyone to feel "burdened" by caring for them.

Religious and cultural backgrounds can influence how someone feels about the dying process. Depending on their beliefs, certain practices, rituals, and customs can be steps along the end-of-life timeline.

Withdrawal and Reflection

As they start to accept their mortality and realize death is approaching , they may start to withdraw. They're beginning the process of separating from the world and the people in it.

During this stage, your loved one may say no to visits from friends, neighbors, and even family. When they do accept visitors, it might be hard for them to interact. That may make you feel rejected, which is especially hard when you know your time with the person is limited.

This stage is also one of reflection. The dying person often thinks back over their life and revisits old memories. They might also be going over the things they regret.

Signs: 1 to 2 Weeks Before Death

Verywell / Cindy Chung

The dying process starts to move faster in the last week or two of life. The acceleration can be frightening for loved ones.

As death approaches, you may want to "correct" them if they say things that don't make sense—but it's better not to. At this stage, it's better to listen to and support your loved one rather than to risk upsetting them or starting an argument.

For example, your loved one might say that they see or hear a person who died before them. In those moments, just let your loved one tell you about it.

You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process.

At this point in the end-of-life timeline, a dying person's body has a hard time maintaining itself. Your loved one may need help with just about any form of activity.

For example, they may have trouble swallowing medications or refuse to take them. If they have been taking pain medications, they may need liquid morphine now to manage pain.

During this end-of-life stage, signs that death is near include:

• Body temperature that's one or more degrees lower than normal
• Cold hands and feet 
• Lower blood pressure
• An irregular pulse that may slow down or speed up
• Increased sweating
• Skin color changes, with lips and nail beds that are pale, bluish, or, in people of color, purplish
• Breathing changes (e.g., a rattling sound and cough)
• Less or no talking
• Sudden arm or leg motions
• Constipation
• Incontinence

During this stage of the end-of-life timeline, people tend to:

• Sleep most of the time
• Become confused
• Have altered senses
• Experience delusions (fearing hidden enemies, feeling invincible)
• Continue or begin having hallucinations (seeing or speaking to people who aren't present or who have died)
• Become restless (pick at bedsheets or clothing, have aimless or senseless movements)

It can be hard for you to witness these changes, but it's important that you remain supportive.

Signs: Days to Hours Before Death

In their last days or hours, the dying person may go through several possible stages.

Surge of Energy

The last few days before death can surprise family members. At this stage, your loved one may have a sudden surge of energy. They may want to get out of bed, talk to loved ones, or eat after having no appetite for days or weeks.

You may take these actions as signs that a dying person is getting better, but the energy will soon go away. It can be hurtful to watch this happen but know that this is a common step within the end-of-life timeline. These energy bursts are a dying person's final physical acts before moving on.

The surges of activity are usually short. The previous signs of being close to death return more strongly once the energy has been spent.

Breathing Changes

At this stage, a dying person's breathing becomes slower and less regular. Rapid breaths followed by periods of no breathing at all ( Cheyne-Stokes breathing) may occur. You may also hear a " rattling " sound when they breathe.

These changes can be unpleasant to witness but you should try to remember that these are not signs your loved one is uncomfortable.

Change in Appearance

Your loved one's hands and feet may start looking blotchy, purplish, or mottled. The changes in skin appearance may slowly move up their arms and legs.

Also, their lips and nail beds may turn bluish or purple, and their lips may droop.

Unresponsiveness

At this end-of-life stage, a dying person usually becomes unresponsive. They may have their eyes open but not be able to see their surroundings.

It's widely believed that hearing is the last sense to stop working. Knowing this can remind you that it's still valuable to sit with and talk to your dying loved one during this time.

Reaching the End

When your loved one stops breathing and their heart stops beating, death has occurred. Other signs of death include:

• No muscle tension
• Eyes remain fixed
• Bowel or bladder releasing

Supporting a loved one at the end of their life can be difficult, but you don't have to go through it alone. Reach out to a hospice , social worker, or clergy member to help you navigate the process. They can help you recognize and understand some of the changes that are happening as your loved one moves through the process of death.

People deal with grief in different ways. After your loved one has died bereavement support groups may be useful. There are some common feelings and experiences that some people may want to share with others.

Signs can be evident one to three months before someone's death. Physical, mental, and behavioral changes are common.

In the week or two before death, the dying process speeds up. They may become more confused and periodically not make sense. Their bodily process may slow down or become erratic, but the person may also appear restless.

In the final days or hours of life, many people have a brief surge of energy and seem like they're doing better. However, once the surge passes, they may appear worse. You may notice breathing changes and skin discoloration.

Knowing these signs may help you prepare for the end of a loved one's life and bring you comfort as you face the physical and mental changes that happen along the end-of-life timeline.

The pre-active stage of dying can last around two to three weeks. That said, there are many factors that contribute to how long the entire process of dying takes for each person, such as their illness and medications.

When a person near the end of life stops eating entirely, it is a sign that death is near. It can be as quick as a few days or up to 10 days. However, some people survive for a few weeks after they stop eating.

That's not necessary and is a personal choice. A dying person will become unconscious, but that does not always mean they are completely unaware of their surroundings. It may bring you (and perhaps, them) some comfort to stay, if you'd like to.

Hospice Foundation of America. Signs of Approaching Death .

Hospice Foundation of America. A Caregiver's Guide to the Dying Process .

Skulason B, Hauksdottir A, Ahcic K, Helgason AR. Death talk: gender differences in talking about one’s own impending death .  BMC Palliative Care . 2014;13(1). doi:10.1186/1472-684x-13-8

Hartogh GD. Suffering and dying well: on the proper aim of palliative care . Med Health Care Philos . 2017;20(3):413-424. doi:10.1007/s11019-017-9764-3

Department of Health, Victoria Government. Managing Physical Symptoms During Palliative Care ,

Wholihan D. Seeing the light: End-of-life experiences-visions, energy surges, and other death bed phenomena . Nurs Clin North Am . 2016;51(3):489-500. doi:10.1016/j.cnur.2016.05.005

Marie Curie Foundation. Final Moments of Life .

Blundon EG, Gallagher RE, Ward LM. Electrophysiological evidence of preserved hearing at the end of life . Sci Rep . 2020;10(1):10336. doi:10.1038/s41598-020-67234-9

Hospice Foundation of America. Signs of approaching death .

By Angela Morrow, RN Angela Morrow, RN, BSN, CHPN, is a certified hospice and palliative care nurse.

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'I crossed over': Survivors of near-death experiences share 'afterlife' stories

For many, the question of what happens when we die is a mysterious one — a TODAY survey found that 55 percent of people are absolutely certain there is an afterlife, 37 percent are not certain, and 8 percent are certain there isn't an afterlife.

But for some who have been through near-death experiences, the question has a clear answer.

Take public speaker Anita Moorjani, who shared her story with Maria Shriver on TODAY.

"I believe that I died, yes — that I crossed over into the afterlife and back," said Moorjani, adding that the afterlife is "like being in a really unlimited space and time."

RELATED: 'Impossible' love story comes true after woman's brush with death

Diagnosed with lymphoma in 2002, Moorjani — who considers herself more spiritual than religious — was losing her cancer battle, withering down to just 85 pounds and battling tumors from the base of her skull to her abdomen. She slipped into a coma in February 2006.

She said that’s when she died and crossed over to an afterlife.

“I felt as though I was above my body,” she said. “It was like I had 360-degree peripheral vision of the whole area around. But not just in the room where my body was in, but beyond the room.”

According to Moorjani, the author of the new book "Dying To Be Me" , she was reunited in that state with her late father, who told her to turn back.

“He said that I've gone as far as I can, and if I go any further, I won't be able to turn back,” she said. “But I felt I didn't want to turn back, because it was so beautiful. It was just incredible, because, for the first time, all the pain had gone. All the discomfort had gone. All the fear was gone. I just felt so incredible. And I felt as though I was enveloped in this feeling of just love. Unconditional love.”

Citing an “incredible clarity where everything started to make sense,” she said she decided to return to her body because she believed “it would heal very, very quickly.” It did.

“Within four days, my tumors shrunk by 70 percent, and the doctors were shocked,” she said. “And I kept telling everyone that, ‘I know I'm going to be okay. I know it’s not my time to die.’”

Moorjani isn’t alone in connecting a "crossing over" experience to healing.

Diagnosed at age 4 with a chronic digestive disorder, 8-year-old Annabel Beam experienced intense pain and frequent hospital visits. “She was always so sweet and gracious,” her father, Kevin, told TODAY. “She wasn't making a big deal out of it, and she was suffering in silence.”

But the suffering started to overwhelm Annabel.

RELATED: Doctor claims he has evidence of the afterlife

“I told my mom, ‘Mama, I want to die, and go to heaven with Jesus where there is no more pain. I don't want to be in this much pain for the rest of my life,’” she said. “And so I was so committed to just giving up that sometimes whenever I couldn't sleep I'd kinda try and figure out what would happen if I did die. Then I decided, my mom would come with me. My dad would stay and watch my sisters.”

Annabel’s mother, Christy, refused to believe what she’d heard. “I remember thinking, ‘That's not what she said,’” Christy recalled. “She doesn't know anything about giving up. She's a fighter.”

Days later, Annabel said she fell 30 feet from a tree branch that cracked while she was sitting on it with her sister, Abbie. She claims that after bumping her head three times on the way down and falling into the hollowed-out base of the tree, she died and went to heaven.

RELATED: Read an excerpt of Annabel's story from 'Miracles from Heaven' here

“It was really bright, and I sat on Jesus’ lap and he told me, ‘Whenever the firefighters get you out, there will be nothing wrong with you,’” Annabel recalled. “And I asked him if I could stay and he said, ‘No, I have plans you need to fulfill on Earth that you cannot fulfill in heaven.’”

A few days later, she told her family about her experience.

“She was very matter-of-fact: very ‘This is what happened,’ not at all animated, just, ‘Here are the facts,’” Christy said. “And then she stopped talking, and looked out the window for the rest of the trip.”

Now symptom-free, Annabel has gone from taking 10 daily medications to none.

"She fell 30 feet head first, without any injuries or one bug bite,” her mom said. “She came out of that tree hours later wet, muddy, and with scratches. And she’s well.”

RELATED: Before his death, teenager's IV pole project changed lives for kids with cancer

The tree, which toppled due to weather, remains in the Beam family front yard, beside a cross Kevin carved after the accident.

“I’m glad that I didn’t ever try and cut it down,” he said. “I do think that this tree was actively involved in a miracle.”

His wife — who turned Annabel’s story into the book “Miracles from Heaven” which has now been turned into a major motion picture of the same name — agreed. “It had a purpose,” Christy said. “It was a vessel.”

Annabel, who continues to climb trees, feels fortunate. “Most kids aren’t ever healed,” she said. “And so anytime I see [the tree], I'm just grateful, and happy.”

This story was originally published in April 2015.

5 who survived cardiac arrest describe what they saw and heard before reviving

Every year, more than 350,000 people have a cardiac arrest outside of a hospital . Few survive. While many people who have been resuscitated have no memories of the experience, a recent study suggests others recall something , whether it’s a vague sense that people are around them, or more specific dreamlike awareness. 

Unlike a heart attack where people are awake and the heart is still painfully beating, those in cardiac arrest are always unconscious. They have no heartbeat or pulse and need CPR urgently. In essence, they have “flat-lined” and are so near death there is no activity on electronic monitors.

What a near-death experience is has never really been defined. Researchers have been trying to explore what’s happening when a patient’s heart stops to see if there are themes or patterns of consciousness.

“There is an assumption that because people do not respond to us physically, in other words, when they’re in a coma, that they’re not conscious, and that’s fundamentally flawed," said Dr. Sam Parnia, a pulmonary and critical care specialist at NYU Langone Health, and the lead author of the recent study.

To find out more about the experiences of the few survivors who have a sense of consciousness during heart-related near-death events, NBC News connected with participants in the NYU Langone research and others from the Cardiac Arrest Survivor Alliance online community, a program of the Sudden Cardiac Arrest Foundation, and the Near-Death Experience Research Foundation .

They shared what they saw, heard and felt during resuscitation, how their lives changed afterward and what they believe other people should know about death and dying.

"Calm, quiet, peaceful"

Greg Kowaleski, a father of three who lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, was 47 and playing a pick-up ice hockey game when he collapsed on the rink. Fortunately for Kowaleski, a pediatric cardiologist who is a good friend of his happened to be there, skating for the opposing team.

Dr. Jeff Zampi determined that Kowaleski didn’t have a pulse and immediately began chest compressions. Using an automated external defibrillator, or AED, Zampi was able to shock his friend’s heart back into a normal rhythm. 

Although the cardiac arrest was in 2021, Kowaleski still recalls the “incredibly vivid” memory he had while Zampi was resuscitating him. Kowaleski found himself boarding an airplane that was completely empty, the blue seats stretching out in front of him.

“The sun is really bright outside, like a beautiful day and I sit down next to the window in my seat, looking out on the tarmac,” he said. 

“As I’m sitting there waiting, I hear somebody call my name,” he said. “It’s my friend Jeff.”

In the memory, Zampi told him he was on the wrong flight and needed to get off. “I got up and I followed him out of the plane,” he said. “And then as we’re getting off the plane, boom! I came back. I woke up.”

Since then, Kowaleski said he’s struggled a little bit with what exactly the experience meant.

“The place where I went, wherever it was, I will say it was extremely peaceful,” he said. “I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced anything so calm, quiet, peaceful.”

What he does know is that he doesn’t really fear death anymore.

“It’s not a scary, bad place to go, wherever I was.” 

"There was no gender"

In 2016, Em James Arnold, a parent in New York City, had a cardiac arrest and was revived.

Arnold’s girlfriend started CPR, but the resuscitation lasted 90 minutes and required nine defibrillator shocks. A combined team of FDNY firefighters and FDNY emergency medical services crews responded to the 911 call, which was made by Arnold’s 12-year-old daughter.

During the near-death experience, the cardiac arrest survivor — who was assigned male at birth and now prefers they/them pronouns — had a profound and life-changing memory.

Arnold remembers traveling feet-first over an expanse of water, floating on what seemed to be a stone-like surface. Overhead was an endless sky, and Arnold felt completely safe, free of fear, and neither male nor female.

Arnold, now 53, has had gender dysphoria since about the age of 3 or 4, although they didn’t always know there was a name for the feeling that one’s gender identity doesn’t match the one registered at birth.

“For me, that was like a lifelong puzzle," Arnold said. "And then, when I go into cardiac arrest and I’m in that water, there was no gender, so there was no assignment there. It allowed me to embrace that of myself.” 

After waking from a three-day coma and a long hospitalization, doctors gave Arnold an implantable cardioverter-defibrillator, or ICD, a battery-operated implanted device that can shock the heart if necessary. Two years later they had surgery to repair a damaged heart valve.

After the experience, Arnold began emerging out and presenting as mixgender/transgender and, soon after, married their girlfriend.

“She’s the one who walked me through this, as she constantly says to me, be yourself, be yourself, just be yourself,” Arnold said. “That’s the hardest thing for anybody to do.”

The couple has a new baby, now 8 months. The cardiac arrest “helped me understand that gender is nothing,” Arnold said. 

Like opening your eyes in a cave

Zach Lonergan, a 32-year-old scientist who lives in Pasadena, California, was regularly logging 15- to 18-mile runs with his friends as they prepared for the Los Angeles Marathon.

As part of the training, they all decided to run the Rose Bowl Half Marathon.

“We’re like, oh, 13 miles for a half marathon is no big deal,” Lonergan said.

However, when race day came in January, Lonergan wasn’t feeling well.

“Of course, I ignored my symptoms and decided to run a really fast race,” he said.

Despite feeling tired for the last few miles, he crossed the finish line. When he went to pick up his medal, he collapsed.

Without a pulse or heart beat, emergency workers performed CPR and shocked Lonergan's heart twice. 

Lonergan doesn’t remember the collapse.

He does recall being awake and aware in a dark place that was unfamiliar, describing it like opening your eyes in a cave. 

“It felt strange, but at the same time, it was the most peaceful time of my entire life,” he said. “In this darkness, I felt extremely warm, and extremely peaceful.” 

After he was resuscitated, doctors gave him an ICD implant that would shock the heart, if necessary.

After he recovered, Lonergan did feel some anxiety, especially when it came to running. However, he also recalls it being a time of “prolonged peacefulness.”

Grateful to be alive, he no longer feared death. He took a “reunion tour” to reconnect with friends he hadn’t seen in years. 

“You only get one life and you have to cherish the people you have around you,” he said. “I think that’s been the biggest gift that I’ve gotten.”

"All-surrounding sense of love"

Dr. Melinda Greer, 65, was being evaluated for chest pain at a cardiac intensive care unit when her heart stopped. Greer, a retired pediatrician in Tahlequah, Oklahoma, had asystole, a failure of the heart’s electrical system which causes the heart to stop pumping, or flat-line.

That was 10 years ago. She is finally opening up about what she feels was a positive experience.

As the nurse was performing CPR on her, Greer saw an “incredible white light” and felt “an incredible all-encompassing, all-surrounding sense of love.” 

She felt like she had returned to a “place that felt like home to me, and I was back amongst a group of what I can only call beings, because we weren’t physical, that I considered my group.” 

It was “a wonderful experience," she said. "I really was angry when they brought me back.”

After Greer left the hospital, she decided to retire early, focusing on creative pursuits and new experiences, rather than acquiring things. She encourages people to get more involved in the “positive aspects of living in a beautiful world.”

“Feel the wind, get out in nature, take off your shoes and socks and put your feet firmly on the ground and just listen to that inner voice, that’s what I would recommend," she said. "I wish I’d done it long ago.”

"I knew I could not leave them”

Connie Fuller, 55, lives in Warrior, Alabama, just north of Birmingham. In 2020, Fuller was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. In 2021, she and her husband made the hard decision to sell their swimming pool business to spend more time together. But the day of the sale was particularly stressful, and she started having chest pain.

She was admitted to the hospital for observation, although tests had ruled out a heart attack. It was at this point that she developed bradycardia, an abnormally slow heart rate, and her heart stopped.

Fuller doesn’t remember when the nurse started CPR. She didn’t feel any pain, although she found out later that the nurse broke her sternum and several ribs, a common occurrence during CPR.

“I love her, she saved my life," Fuller said.

What Fuller does remember is hearing her husband’s voice when he came back into the room.

“We started dating when I was 14, he was 16," she said. "He sounded like that little 16-year-old boy. That was the voice that I heard."

She feels that her husband’s voice helped pull her back into her body, as the medical team worked to revive her.

“I do remember thinking, this feels so good and so peaceful and it’s so calm and there’s no worries here,” she said. “But at the same time, I remembered my husband and my daughter and I knew I could not leave them.”

Based on her experience, Fuller advises family members to talk to patients, even when it seems they are dying.

“If it’s safe, and possible — allow the family members to be there to talk to the patient,” she said.

Fuller, who believes in God, wondered why she didn’t have experiences that are more like the traditional concept of heaven.

“Psychologically it’s been a lot to handle,” she said. "I thought, why wasn’t I in heaven? Why didn’t I see my relatives? Why didn’t I see the white light? You know, why didn’t that happen for me?”

Fuller turned out to have takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or broken heart syndrome , which is a weakness of the heart muscle that can be caused by severe stress.

“I thought at that time I had wasted my heartbeats worrying about a swimming pool store," Fuller said. "That’s when I prayed and I begged God, please give me one more chance to not waste any more heartbeats on something that’s not important. I won’t. I will not do that again.”

Theresa Tamkins is a health reporter and editor who has worked for BuzzFeed News, Health.com and Reuters Health. She covers infectious disease, fitness, nutrition and mental health, and has written for CNN, The Lancet, MSNBC, and WebMD, among others.

Unconscious

What happens after death, three viewpoints expressed by my teenage patients..

Posted February 11, 2023 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

• What Is the Unconscious
• Find a therapist near me
• A common view is that after death, the soul ascends to heaven.
• Some are certain about the lack of existence after death and believe this makes life all the more beautiful.
• A humble position is to accept that what happens after death is unknowable.

Children often bring up the subject of death in my counseling practice. Some children in their middle elementary school years report a fear of dying and sometimes express worry about falling asleep because they or their family members might die overnight. More frequently, teenagers bring up the topic of death in the context of coming to grips with having a finite life and asking about its meaning.

Many of my patients who bring up the topic deal with anxiety , but some deal with the loss or impending loss of a loved one, including a pet. Some patients have a serious or terminal medical illness that brings death closer to home.

Studies have shown that children develop views on death based on how it is presented to them. If death is presented as resulting from a cessation of biological function, young children are more apt to think of death in biological terms than when death is explained in an afterlife context, e.g., “Your grandmother is now with God.” However, as they age, children and adults often adopt two parallel stances about death involving a biological and an afterlife or religious stance (Harris, 2018).

In this post, I present the views of representative teenagers from my practice, including brief excerpts of the discussions I have had with them.

A common view expressed by many of my patients is that after death, their souls will go to heaven. These patients also mostly believe that their pets will go to heaven. However, very few say they can explain what happens in heaven. They are of split opinion regarding whether they can interact with the souls of loved ones in heaven.

For grieving patients who believe in the afterlife, I offer the opportunity to use hypnosis to interact with their loved ones. Most patients take up this opportunity, including those who say they are unsure whether interactions are possible with the deceased. After they imagine such an interaction, most patients report that it felt real and that they feel better about the loss of their loved one.

Some patients wonder how heaven can be real if different religions view the afterlife differently. We discuss that religions represent mankind’s attempts to make sense of the world and define principles we should live. I suggest that since people have promulgated religions, the guidance they offer may be imperfect and inconsistent within each religion or in comparison with other religions, even if God originally inspired it.

There Is Nothing After Death

A view expressed by a minority of my patients is that existence ceases at death. They explain that they believe there is no ability to feel, think, or perceive anything after death. Some express that life is pointless as it has no inherent meaning.

I share that a few of my patients believe that the lack of existence after death makes life all the more beautiful. They suggest that the fragility of life can serve as an impetus to make the most out of it.

We discuss that our perception of reality is limited by what our brains have been geared to handle. For example, we know a lot that we cannot perceive, such as light or sound, that is out of range of our brain’s ability to register. It also is reasonable to assume that there are many things we cannot perceive, of which we are unaware. Thus, rather than a position of certainty about the lack of existence after death, it may be more humble to hold an agnostic position: It is unknowable what happens after death.

Uncertainty

My remaining patients state they do not know what happens after death, and many are bothered by this ambiguity.

I ask my patients if they want to find out whether they can develop a different understanding of what happens after death. If they are interested, I offer to interview their subconscious and typically ask the following questions:

Did you exist before the patient was born? The majority of my patients’ subconscious responds affirmatively.

Will you exist after the patient dies? Nearly all of the subconscious responds affirmatively.

If patients have questions for their subconscious, we pose them. Whether the subconscious responses to these questions represent a reality regarding existence after death or the patients’ wishful thinking, from a clinical standpoint, it is apparent that this exercise is useful as patients report feeling better.

Finally, I often share a story I wrote as an 18-year-old when I grappled with the same questions.

The Potion-Maker

The main character of this story is the potion-maker who has a shop that contains all the potions that might exist. He offers a potion of everlasting life for free to a young man who has come into the shop. The young man inquired whether the potion-maker knew if there is life after death.

“Why yes, I do,” answered the potion-maker, gesturing toward a massive book on his shelf. “I have determined that there is definitely no life after death.”

In response to the young man’s question, the potion-maker stated that he has not taken the potion.

“But why not?”

“The reason is quite simple,” explained the potion-maker. “Life is just too long if it lasts an eternity. I would see everything, do everything, gain everything, lose everything, and then I would still need to exist for an eternity with nothing new to do.”

The young man thanked the potion-maker for his honesty but declined to take the potion.

Sometime later, a young lady entered the shop and inquired about the potion or everlasting life. She, too, wanted to know if there is life after death.

“I have looked at that question long and hard, “replied the potion-maker. “And I have reached the conclusion that it is impossible to reach a conclusion regarding this question.”

The young lady mused, “There are so many things I want to do. It would simply be marvelous to live forever.”

The potion-maker interjected, “But what if there is a heaven? Would you not be missing your chance to go there if you lived forever on this Earth?”

The young lady decided to pass on the opportunity to live forever.

Finally, an old man rushed into the store and demanded the potion of everlasting life.

“But wait,” said the potion-maker. “Don’t be hasty. Should you not consider that I have proven that there is life after death? I’ve even proven there is a heaven.”

“Yes,” said the old man irritably. “I already know that heaven exists. And I also know that there is a hell. And that’s where I’ll be going if I do not live forever. For you see, I have committed a terrible crime .”

“I see,” said the potion-maker. “You wish to live forever so that you can escape eternal damnation?”

“Yeah,” replied the old man. “Can I have the potion now?”

“Certainly.” The potion-maker gave the old man a bottle of black bubbling liquid.

The old man turned away from the counter and looked out the door of the shop as he greedily drank the potion. He started feeling better within a few moments.

“Am I going to live forever now?” he asked.

“Yes,” replied the devil.

The potion-maker story often serves as a platform for my patients to further discuss their ideas.

I share with my patients that I believe the mystery of death is one of the gifts we have been given by virtue of being sentient beings. This mystery can prompt us to carefully consider what we want to achieve in our limited existence on this Earth and gives us a better perspective regarding what is truly important in our lives.

Harris, Paul, L. 2018. Children’s understanding of death: from biology to religion. Phil Trans R Soc B , 373: 20170266.

More information about how patients deal with questions relating to death can be found in the 2021 book, "Changing Children’s Lives with Hypnosis: A Journey to the Center," by Ran D. Anbar, Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.

Ran D. Anbar, M.D., FAAP, is board-certified in both pediatric pulmonology and general pediatrics. He is the author of the new book Changing Children’s Lives with Hypnosis: A Journey to the Center .

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Your Senses Shut Down in a Certain Order When You're About to Die

T he passage from life to death is a profound transition, marked by the gradual cessation of bodily functions and senses. As science illuminates this enigmatic journey, we unravel the sequence in which our senses bid farewell-offering insight into the intricacies of the human experience. James Hallenbeck, an esteemed expert in palliative care at Stanford University, has dedicated his career to understanding the intricacies of end-of-life experiences. Drawing from his wealth of expertise and compassion, Hallenbeck has meticulously documented the sequence in which dying patients lose their senses-a roadmap through the final stages of life's journey.

Hallenbeck's seminal work offers invaluable insights into the profound transformations that accompany the transition from life to death

With precision and empathy, he unravels the mysteries of sensory decline. Shedding light on the nuanced interplay between physiology, psychology , and spirituality. As a beacon of wisdom in the field of palliative care, Hallenbeck's research not only deepens our understanding of mortality but also enriches our capacity for empathy and compassionate care.

Through his pioneering efforts, Hallenbeck continues to inspire a new generation of healthcare professionals, guiding them on a path of profound healing and solace for those nearing life's end. His legacy serves as a testament to the enduring power of compassion and the transformative impact of understanding in the face of life's most profound mysteries. In his book Palliative Care Perspectives, he wrote: " First hunger and then thirst are lost. Speech is lost next, followed by vision. The last senses to go are usually hearing and touch."

Read More:  Doctor Convinced Without a Doubt That There's Life After Death

Hunger and Thirst: The Fading Appetite

The decline in appetite and thirst at the threshold of death not only reflects physiological changes but also underscores the profound shift in the body's priorities. Beyond mere cessation of hunger pangs and the desire for hydration, this stage signifies a deeper relinquishment. A letting go of earthly needs in preparation for the final journey. Understanding the metabolic nuances of this phase sheds light on the body's remarkable adaptability in confronting mortality.

Speech: The Waning Voice

Speech, often regarded as a quintessential expression of human connection, undergoes a poignant transformation as death approaches. The slowing cadence of conversation and the eventual silence mirror the gradual withdrawal from the external world. Yet, within this silence lies a profound form of communication-a silent dialogue between the departing soul and the cosmos, transcending linguistic barriers and temporal constraints. Exploring the psychosocial dimensions of this stage unveils the complexities of human consciousness in its twilight hour.

Read More:  5 Most Common Deathbed Regrets, According to Palliative Care Nurse

20 Things To Remember When Dating A Strong Woman

Vision: the dimming light.

The fading of vision heralds a transition from the tangible to the ethereal-a journey into the realm of shadows and whispers. As the visual landscape recedes, the mind's eye opens to vistas unseen, traversing the threshold between perception and imagination. Hallucinations, far from mere aberrations, offer glimpses into the psyche's innermost recesses, weaving a tapestry of memory and emotion. Through the lens of visual decline, we embark on a voyage through the corridors of consciousness, where reality and illusion intertwine in a dance of fading light.

Touch: The Lingering Connection

In the moments before passing, tactile sensations linger as traces of earthly existence. Bridging the divide between the finite and the infinite. Though brief, the touch of a loved one's hand carries the weight of a lifetime's worth of shared experiences-a testament to the lasting power of human connection. As consciousness wanes, touch becomes a conduit for transcendence, exceeding the physical body's limitations to touch the very essence of being. Exploring the healing potential of tactile stimulation in end-of-life care unveils the profound impact of human touch on the journey toward acceptance and peace.

Hearing: The Last Echoes

In the final moments, amidst the silence of the senses, hearing emerges as a keeper of awareness. Echoing the whispers of eternity. The groundbreaking research inspiring the diligence of acoustic perception in the face of upcoming demise offers a glimpse into the strength of the human spirit-a testament to the lasting legacy of sound. Through the sounding of final echoes, we confront the paradox of mortality, finding solace in the timeless resonance of the human voice.

In Conclusion:

In the symphony of life's sunset, the sequence of sensory shutdown unveils the complexities of our mortal journey. From the fading hunger to the lingering echoes of sound, each sense offers a poignant narrative of departure. As we consider the enigma of death, we find solace in the lasting legacy of sensation. Transcending the brief confines of existence. In the embrace of eternity, our senses pave the way for a timeless song of being-a testament to the enduring beauty of the human experience.

Read More:  The Body Knows When Death is Near, and It Begins in Your Nose

• " You will lose your senses in specific order when you're about to die, expert reveals " Metro . Sophiemay-williams. April 13, 2024.
• " A DOCTOR has revealed the first senses people lose just before they die " The Sun . Harry Goodwin. April 2023.
• " What It Feels Like to Die " The Atlantic .  Jennie Dear. September 9, 2015.

The post Your Senses Shut Down in a Certain Order When You're About to Die appeared first on The Hearty Soul .

7 Symptoms of Diverticulitis (And Natural Remedies To Help Fix It)

The Journey Through Grief

The Mourner's Six "Reconciliation Needs"

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

The death of someone loved changes our lives forever. And the movement from the "before" to the "after" is almost always a long, painful journey. From my own experiences with loss as well as those of the thousands of grieving people I have worked with over the years, I have learned that if we are to heal we cannot skirt the outside edges of our grief. Instead, we must journey all through it, sometimes meandering the side roads, sometimes plowing directly into its raw center.

I have also learned that the journey requires mourning. There is an important difference, you see. Grief is what you think and feel on the inside after someone you love dies. Mourning is the outward expression of those thoughts and feelings. To mourn is to be an active participant in our grief journeys. We all grieve when someone we love dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn.

There are six "yield signs" you are likely to encounter on your journey through grief - what I call the "reconciliation needs of mourning." For while your grief journey will be an intensely personal, unique experience, all mourners must yield to this set of basic human needs if they are to heal.

Need 1. Acknowledging the reality of the death. This first need of mourning involves gently confronting the reality that someone you care about will never physically come back into your life again. Whether the death was sudden or anticipated, acknowledging the full reality of the loss may occur over weeks and months. To survive, you may try to push away the reality of the death at times. You may discover yourself replaying events surrounding the death and confronting memories, both good and bad. This replay is a vital part of this need of mourning. It's as if each time you talk it out, the event is a little more real. Remember - this first need of mourning, like the other five that follow, may intermittently require your attention for months. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work on each of them.

Need 2. Embracing the pain of the loss. This need of mourning requires us to embrace the pain of our loss - something we naturally don't want to do. It is easier to avoid, repress or deny the pain of grief than it is to confront it, yet it is in confronting our pain that we learn to reconcile ourselves to it.

You will probably discover that you need to "dose" yourself in embracing your pain. In other words, you cannot (nor should you try to) overload yourself with the hurt all at one time. Sometimes you may need to distract yourself from the pain of death, while at other times you will need to create a safe place to move toward it. Unfortunately, our culture tends to encourage the denial of pain. If you openly express your feelings of grief, misinformed friends may advise you to "carry on" or "keep your chin up." If, on the other hand, you remain "strong" and "in control," you may be congratulated for "doing well" with your grief. Actually, doing well with your grief means becoming well acquainted with your pain.

Need 3. Remembering the person who died. Do you have any kind of relationship with someone when they die? Of course. You have a relationship of memory. Precious memories, dreams reflecting the significance of the relationship and objects that link you to the person who died (such as photos, souvenirs etc.) are examples of some of the things that give testimony to a different form of a continued relationship. This need of mourning involves allowing and encouraging yourself to pursue this relationship. But some people may try to take your memories away. Trying to be helpful, they encourage you to take down all the photos of the person who died. They tell you to keep busy or even to move out of your house. But in my experience, remembering the past makes hoping for the future possible. Your future will become open to new experiences only to the extent that you embrace the past.

Need 4. Developing a new self-identity. Part of your self-identity comes from the relationships you have with other people. When someone with whom you have a relationship dies, your self-identity, or the way you see yourself, naturally changes. You may have gone from being a "wife" or "husband" to a "widow" or "widower." You may have gone from being a "parent" to a "bereaved parent." The way you define yourself and the way society defines you is changed. A death often requires you to take on new roles that had been filled by the person who died. After all, someone still has to take out the garbage, someone still has to buy the groceries. You confront your changed identity every time you do something that used to be done by the person who died. This can be very hard work and can leave you feeling very drained. You may occasionally feel child-like as you struggle with your changing identity. You may feel a temporarily heightened dependence on others as well as feelings of helplessness, frustration, inadequacy and fear.

Many people discover that as they work on this need, they ultimately discover some positive aspects of their changed self-identity. You may develop a renewed confidence in yourself, for example. You may develop a more caring, kind and sensitive part of yourself. You may develop an assertive part of your identity that empowers you to go on living even though you continue to feel a sense of loss.

Need 5. Searching for meaning. When someone you love dies, you naturally question the meaning and purpose of life. You probably will question your philosophy of life and explore religious and spiritual values as you work on this need. You may discover yourself searching for meaning in your continued living as you ask "How?" and "Why" questions. "How could God let this happen?" "Why did this happen now, in this way?" The death reminds you of your lack of control. It can leave you feeling powerless. The person who died was a part of you. This death means you mourn a loss not only outside of yourself, but inside of yourself as well. At times, overwhelming sadness and loneliness may be your constant companions. You may feel that when this person died, part of you died with him or her. And now you are faced with finding some meaning in going on with your life even though you may often feel so empty. This death also calls for you to confront your own spirituality. You may doubt your faith and have spiritual conflicts and questions racing through your head and heart. This is normal and part of your journey toward renewed living.

Need 6. Receiving ongoing support from others. The quality and quantity of understanding support you get during your grief journey will have a major influence on your capacity to heal. You cannot - nor should you try to - do this alone. Drawing on the experiences and encouragement of friends, fellow mourners or professional counselors is not a weakness but a healthy human need. And because mourning is a process that takes place over time, this support must be available months and even years after the death of someone in your life. Unfortunately, because our society places so much value on the ability to "carry on," "keep your chin up" and "keep busy," many mourners are abandoned shortly after the event of the death. "It's over and done with" and "It's time to get on with your life" are the types of messages directed at mourners that still dominate. Obviously, these messages encourage you to deny or repress your grief rather than express it. To be truly helpful, the people in your support system must appreciate the impact this death has had on you. They must understand that in order to heal, you must be allowed - even encouraged - to mourn long after the death. And they must encourage you to see mourning not as an enemy to be vanquished but as a necessity to be experienced as a result of having loved.

Reconciling your grief You may have heard - indeed you may believe - that your grief journey's end will come when you resolve, or recover from, your grief. But your journey will never end. People do not "get over" grief. Reconciliation is a term I find more appropriate for what occurs as the mourner works to integrate the new reality of moving forward in life without the physical presence of the person who died. With reconciliation comes a renewed sense of energy and confidence, an ability to fully acknowledge the reality of the death and a capacity to become reinvolved in the activities of living. In reconciliation, the sharp, ever-present pain of grief gives rise to a renewed sense of meaning and purpose. Your feeling of loss will not completely disappear, yet they will soften, and the intense pangs of grief will become less frequent. Hope for a continued life will emerge as you are able to make commitments to the future, realizing that the person who died will never be forgotten, yet knowing that your life can and will move forward.

Related Resources The Journey Through Grief: Reflections on Healing (book) Copyright 2007-2013, Center for Loss and Life Transition

41 Life After Death Quotes to Inspire & Enlighten

Sally is a prolific non-fiction and fiction writer, who has appeared in multiple print and digital publications.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

Life after death quotes offer hope of what awaits you beyond. A quote about life after death may ease your fears and prepare you for a new journey.

Life After Death Quotes for Everyone

You may find life after death quotes inspiring and enlightening. When facing death, it is comforting to know your soul will continue in a new plane of existence.

• Life after death is real.
• After death, you travel to another world where loved ones greet you.
• The soul is eternal and lives on after physical death.
• Life after death means you can become whatever you wish in a new life.
• After death, you travel through a tunnel of light to another world.
• Life after death is spent in a vibrant and colorful world.
• After death, you understand the things you thought were important, actually weren't.
• Life after death is full of light and love.
• When you die, you travel to the stars and beyond.
• After death, you rest and then decide where you wish to go next.
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Perfect Quote Life After Death

A quote about life after death can make you contemplate the hereafter. You may view life after death with a different perspective once you consider a few quotes.

• Life after death is a bigger adventure than life on Earth.
• After death, I want to sit on a cloud for a while and just watch to world go by.
• Life after death is unknown and mysterious.
• Where you go after death is determined by where you went in life.
• Death is not the end, your soul continues.
• There is life after death, and everyone eventually discovers this truth.
• After I die, I want to travel to the moon and just sit there looking at the Earth spin.
• It is true that there is life after death.
• After death, your soul rejoins loved ones who died before you.
• Life after death means you continue to exist.

Finding Inspiration With Life After Death Quotations

Life after death quotations are ways you can view life that are inspiring and offer possible enlightenment. You may discover a quote about life after death that offers hope and comfort.

• I want to spend my life after death just chillin' on a beach basking under the sun.
• When I die, I plan to be that spirit who mediums contact, so I can mess with them.
• Life after death is more colorful and dimensional than life on Earth.
• Life after death is not what everyone thinks; it's better!
• A new adventure begins your life after death.
• Life after death is like stepping through a door into another world.
• Life after death has many worlds for you to explore.
• There is a joyful life after death for those who spent a joyful life.
• When you die, loved ones greet you in the next life.
• When you die, you review your life and judge your actions.

What Happens After Death Quote?

Many people of faith believe they go to heaven after death. Other religions believe in reincarnation and that after death, you return to another life on Earth.

• After death, you fly to heaven to be with God, the father.
• When you die, you get to see the face of God.
• After death, you go back home to heaven.
• When you die, you're escorted home by angels.
• Life after death is the beginning of your next life.
• After death, you must decide to be reborn or continue on your journey.
• Your life after death is determined by the karma you created in life.
• When you die, you prepare to be reincarnated into a new life.
• Many religions talk about a beautiful life waiting beyond this life.
• For Christians , through Christ, there is life eternal after death.
• After you die, you can do anything and go anywhere.

Discovering and Using Life After Death Quotes

You can browse life after death quotes for inspiration. A few life after death quotes are a great way to encourage your journey toward enlightenment.

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The Spirit of The Dead According To Ojibwe Beliefs

Credit: classroom.synonym.com

Lee Staples, a spiritual leader for the Mille Lacs Indian Reservation in Central Minnesota, says that one must understand Ojibwe beliefs about life in order to understand Ojibwe beliefs about death. “We have within us Anishinaabe spirit, and we just occupy this physical body during that lifetime,” he says. “There is…a reason for us existing on this earth, a reason that the creator put us down…I always think it must be wonderful to know when you go down the path, that you accomplished what Manidoo (creator) wanted you to do on this earth.”

Staples performs traditional burials for the Ojibwe at both the Mille Lacs and Fond du Lac Indian Reservations. His job is to send the spirits to another world and protect those who remain behind. According to traditional Ojibwe beliefs, after the body dies, the individual’s spirit spends four days walking westward to the place where the soul dwells after death. Dan Jones, Ojibwe language instructor at Fond du Lac Tribal and Community College, speaks of the spirit this way: “He doesn’t know it, but if he gets lonely, he may take someone with him.”

Credit: rightojibwe.blogspot.com

Small children and babies are particularly vulnerable. This is the origin of the Ojibwe practice of smudging charcoal on the foreheads of infants and children before bedtime. They believe that the charcoal protects the children from those wandering spirits. As Jones says, “When the spirit sees the charcoal, [the face] is blurred, and he can’t see who it is.”

Ojibwe Mourning and Burial 

When a person dies on the Fond du Lac Reservation, the family lights a fire in their home. Relatives of the dead tend to the fire, keeping it continuously lit until the fifth day after death, when they bury the body. During the first four nights, the family offers food to the spirit. They also offer tobacco, one of the four sacred medicines the Ojibwe traditionally use. (The others are sage, sweet grass and cedar.) They place birch bark matches inside the casket with the body, so that the spirit can use the matches to make fires along its journey to the other world. “The land is called Gaagige Minawaanigozigiwining—the land of everlasting happiness,” says Staples.

On the final night, the relatives hold a feast. During the meal, they offer food to the spirit of the person who died for the last time. At the end of the meal, they smoke a final offering of tobacco or place it in the fire. Then Staples speaks directly to the spirit, laying out the details of the journey the spirit will undertake in its passage to Gaagige Minawaanigozigiwining.

43 Responses to The Spirit of The Dead According To Ojibwe Beliefs

Thanks for sharing this. If you know anything about Fire Keeping, I’d love to read about it. Miigwetch!

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IT is good to know for my world languges class this web site helped out a lot

Very glad you found this article helpful!

same bro we have class together

it is free relistate

My sister inlaw passed away. She wants me to spread her ashes where we spread my fathers. On our land in northeast Wisconsin. Our family is of Ojibwe ancestry. I am slowly learning the customs and history of our great people. Is there a prayer I can say when I do this, todo it properly is important to me and her. Miigwetch.

I don’t think they allow cremation. Might want to check

You don’t think who allows cremation? Ojibwe? You know we aren’t a monolithic people My family has never held any restrictions on cremation.

Yes exactly this, we Anishinaabe people are diverse and can do whatever practices we want. @Debbie, do not tell indigenous people how they should live. Respect us and listen to us instead.

Biidwegaabo indizhinikaz. Waasawganing Indoonjibaa.

I was taught these teachings are very sacred to our people. I disagree this is put on line. “Sharing our Ways” means with our people not the whole world.

Gatekeeping is not a part of Indigenous culture. Sharing knowledge is an honor and always will be, no matter the recipient.

mlaah asif, with your “gatekeeping” gen z BS, Taylor. lmfao people need to respect our ways or else you want random ass people snatching the rug right from underneath us, Again!! this is why us natives cant have anything good.. just willing to give it away like its nothing. cha, gatekeeping neenagosh.

Taylor, I am Ojibway and what you are saying is not true. Our teachings are very sacred to us and not up for grabs for any recipient. White people have shown to not respect us by committing genocide on our people and trying to claim parts of our beliefs as their own without any respect.

un fortunately if you wish to shift it forward things have to change if we can get the right words it will make it easier. but the sooner we get to one world one people no borders no flags we use the robots that will “take our jobs” to shift into a different way not an ism not an I we us learning sharing knowledge resources and raising the need for law courts police jail prison out of our children and selves… when your needs are met and you are allowed to participate in community and creative authentically express… we get the quantum shift and goodby 3rd dimension the longer we stay wage slaves for people that are fucking our planet,,, with our money our resources OURS… these people gotta go the greed the money the need to feed something that cant be fed.

@Henry, to live together in peace we need to understand one another and what is sacred and important. By not understanding, we insult and hurt without understanding how. As the decendant of a white immigrant, I realize this land was not theirs, and that they lived on it in their way. Without knowing your culture and what was sacred to your people, they caused destruction and pain. I have never known any other place, so my place is on these lands now too, but I am not the same as my ancestors. I can learn from the mistakes of the past and offer a beginning toward building a world where all cultures and peoples are honored and respected – where one does not rule the others but shares in its joys and sorrows. I am, personally, grateful to have a place to learn about the traditions of the Ojibwe peoples.

Miigwech El, I could not have said it better myself. I am so thankful for the knowledge that has been shared because it helps me to understand things that I intuitively know, but I also understand the desire for traditions and beliefs to be protected. By sharing, without dilution, it is hopeful that these important teachings can be kept alive and bring harmony to our world. Just yesterday, in my presence, a Native American was asked about about the Woo Woo Woo War Cry (many of us have seen depicted in Hollywood movies) and she did not take the opportunity to dispel this stereotype. Later she spoke of funeral traditions, and that is why I am here today to research other perspectives of the truth because she has discredited herself with me. Today, through my research at sevenponds.com and Sarah Sunshine Manning’s recollections of her childhood and what it means to be Native American, I understand that this stereotyped war cry has become a way for my friend to feel recognized as a Native American, and I can understand and be more compassionate about what brings her to the place that she is at. Miigwech Sarah Sunshine Manning for sharing your story and helping me take a step through the doorway to understanding.

please google what is happening in canada with the Wet’suwet’en tribe and the coastal gas link pipeline going thru their river. i think this is the purest one i have ever seen because it is so fierce and its not to try to be anything its in the face of a royal canadian police officer evicting them from their traditional lands… the time is coming so near… but the way i see it we have one chance to preserve the little chance we have to he ONE PLANET of HUMANS living an authentic free will existence and thriving in a resource based economy where all needs are met without being a wage slave, completely disenfranchised, or an undeserving overlord,,, not controlled by symbols, white jesus, blood quantums, or borders… we dont have to kill everything… we should just collectively agree to not participate. venusproject.com

What is happening in Canada, and in the USA on many fronts with our people is sad. The fact that there are still missing, and murdered women at a rising rate, not a declining one, the fact that we have over 10,000 bodies of children found, yet so many more to be found at residential schools in our country, yet there is not a loud voice for it anymore. I still cry tears, my heart still breaks. I have never felt a feeling like this ever. If I hear one more person say its in the past nit happened so long ago just let it go! Do we let remembrance day go? No we do not! Why because the people that lost their lives to fight for this country deserve to be respected, but not at any less than these helpless children that in all right founded this country of ours! It was their patents and grandparents and great grandparents that helped cultivate the land that white men took over while we were taken to a place they picked and called reservations. So maybe we have made great strides in everyones mind, are you living in a home that water runs brown out of its taps? That your children have sores on them from drinking water or bathing in the water? That your clothes look as dirty after washing them as they did before they did? We it happens here still! There are Indigenous peoples in Canada living on Reservations that we were made to go live on, yet with all the great lakes and smaller lakes, and the technology we have now. No one has fixed this!!! WHY??? WHY???? If this was the city of Toronto, would this be happening??? Would it be happening for 10 years and more?? NO IT WOULD NOT!! It should not for any community living in our country! Especially to people whom ancestors founded this country! This country of ours may be starting to see, but most do not want to face the truths, most do not want to learn our ways, some that fo have good intentions, tho others do not. Have we not learned anything from our past, how do we ever trust with our stories our beliefs? I do not ever want to give anyone the power to take those away from us again! So we should hold them close to our hearts, only share if they are truly worthy and trusting to hear.

El, why are you speaking over a Native person? You are preaching with pretty words about why you should be entitled to this information like he hasn’t heard it all before. The things you’re saying are classic white savior rhetoric. Why do you need something explained to you in order to respect it? I think the most healing thing you could have done here was not center your white experience and perspective. This is very disappointing and embarrassing for me as another white person to see. Even though you feel your intentions are good, you are treating Henry like a child. I see us talking over First Nations people in the real world (“something else” in election results), and in text books (everything Natives “did” is in past tense,like they are extinct) on every single social media platform, and in every corner of the internet. You are not the first white to say this kind of thing. Live your life respecting people whether you understand their culture or not. Read up on how you can participate in LandBack (landback.org) if you want to help right the wrongs of our ancestors. Learn about #MMIW #MMIWG2S, do you know the 3rd leading cause of death among native women is murder, and this is based on current data that is almost non-existent ( we simply don’t have the date on Native American women’s murders according to FBI profiling criminologist Jim Clemente)?? For white women respiratory disease is 3rd and murder doesn’t even make the top 10. Do you know that the most recent tally of indigenous children’s bodies found on residential school land is around 9,000 currently? The request that I hear time and time again from Native people is that if you want to have access to their customs and SACRED Teachings, Natives simply request that you contribute to and protect their culture and way of life in the way they ask. So educate yourself on the issues that effect the tribes you wish to learn from and take an active role in advocating for them instead of speaking over them and centering yourself as a response to their VALID complaints. In short, if you truly care about coming together as one you need to have the integrity and humbleness to value the needs of the most vulnerable in our society.

Wow, Meghan, well said.

Yes thank you for saying this. Even if it sounds good or well intentioned, white people should not speak over indigenous people. We are allowed to have whatever diverse opinions and thoughts that we have, even if within our communities we do not agree. White people are allowed that, and we are allowed this as well.

Love this comment. Many of us who have white immigrant ancestors do not agree with the way indigenous people were and still treated. I have many different “parts” to me: Irish, Sicilian, Lithuanian, Russian and my great, great grandmother was Sioux. We all created by the Holy Father . Love and Peace.

This is so thoughtfully written. I am Ojibwe from Ontario Canada. Thank you For those words. I think where we are now, that respect, understanding, and acknowledgement for what was done to us. Instead of people stereotyping, they should educate themselves, go learn and read then come to the table to have a good conversation. Not one of hatred and throwing stones. Unfortunately we can not change the past. However we can work together to change our future.

As a hospital chaplain, I was called to assist a family with smudging and drumming after the grandmother died. Your article has helped me do better

That’s great, Silke. It’s always nice to hear that our content has helped someone to help others who are dealing with the death of someone they love.

I am very greatful for the information shared here. I was informed today that a great friend has lost a family member. Not wanting to insult or disrespect him or his family I sought to learn of Ojibwe traditions. I served the Anishinaabe while in federal service and learned many things from them.

Hi William,

How wonderful of you! We loved to hear from our readers like you who are impacted by an article and share it with a friend.

It sounds like your federal service was quite interesting.

Suzette, Founder

I am grateful for this information. I am reconnecting to my indignity and information like this really helps me understand. Miigwetch 🧡

I am very thankful for this information and would like to learn more about the customs of ojibway tribe.

My brother did a DNA test and learned he is Ojibwe, so assuming I am wanted to learn where we descended from and reading your response to sharing your ways made me cry. I plan on learning all I can to better understand who I am. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for this reliable current information. I googled this topic because I just finished watching a documentary about unearthing graves in the British Isles. Without any indication that it’s anything but common, they spoke of construction sites finding human remains from as recent as the 1500s, and as far back as 4,000 BC. It made me wonder why we hear so little about any unexpected unearthing of any Native American burials — was it because in ancient times, cremation was standard practice? Because they did not place much value on the “meat package” that carried the spirit in the material world, and did not bother with burial? I have to guess that it’s NOT because excavators, etc., ignore any human remains they find, not because they are careful of Native sacred sites, but because they wouldn’t immediately know whether the body was Native or European, so they’d likely report it.

Thank -you for sharing… I have suspected my Mother’s Mom was Ojibwa. My name is Cynthia which means Moon-goddess. I am of O – blood type. My Grand-Mother taught me a lot. I really appreciate your share. Amen

My Fathers Mother was born in Canada and claimed native blood. She was named Isabell Hudson. Anyway when as a boy when a family member passed the family would gather and there would be a give a way. Every family member would be given an object, tie tack, ring, belt something that was personal. was this part of traditional belief or just something we did as a family

I’m shocked by the hate from my Ojibwe brothers and sisters. I have been reconnecting with my roots and this helped me a lot. Unfortunately, I don’t have elders here to give me teachings or stories about our people and online is the best I can manage at the moment. I have met many that are understanding and many that have nothing but hate in their hearts. If we want to get redemption for the past, knowledge must be shared and understood for change to happen.

I’m an enrolled tribal member who is ordained and recently started a cultural teaching church. This information has been very helpful to my mission and I want to offer a chi miigwetch for making it available to all of us. It is important to me that our people be allowed to learn and return to our ancestral ways, pre colonization, and that it should be recognized as equal to any other cultural life ways.

For those in this thread who defended us by chastising others… please don’t. What matters the most is sincerity. Not everyone knows the right ways to do something or say something until they’re given a chance to learn. Please allow those who are sincere to learn before waving fingers at them. We should all be given a chance to learn and then to do better before shamed and/or shunned. Our culture is one of inclusion, acceptance, and understanding. It is a culture of love and respect for all things. If you wish to defend us as our allies, please remember those things when doing so.

We are still here after 500+ yrs of attempted extinction that continues today. We are just now starting to reclaim the things that were stolen from us. In reclaiming those things we have a responsibility to share what we learn. That is a huge part of preventing our extinction. The world has no idea who we really are except what Hollywood, government, and the Christian religions have taught. We’ve never been allowed the voice to teach the world who we are, from us. That matters if we expect the world to respect us and accept us, and it matters in putting a stop to the vast misinformation and misinterpretation, misunderstanding, and abuses of our cultures and peoples for so long. How does the world know they are doing something wrong if we never are allowed to teach them what is right? How can we ask them to stop and expect understanding if they lack the understanding of why we wish them to stop?

We are not victims, we are survivors. As survivors we carry an extra responsibility to make sure that our truth is told. Please allow us that. I believe we’ve earned that by now. Miigwetch!

Thank you Dawn! I posted below. Debbie Robibson

Thank you. My sister is Ojibwe and she died last night. I wanted to know what the rituals were. I can’t do this since I am a white settler, but I can at least imagine in my mind what my sister deserves.

My Cousins are/were Ojibwe. I am not. I had the honor of experiencing the traditional, um funeral, for lack of the proper term. It was beautiful. I lit the fire this evening for my Cousin, Butterfly Woman. I gave my offering of tobacco and strawberries. I kept her company until i was cold. What a beautiful culture

I am not Ojibwe. However, I am a human being. I have been graced to learn more about the Ojibwe culture and teachings. I believe the wisdom and laughter that has been shared with me has made me a better human and has also helped me on my path to be a good human and live a balanced and honorable life. Respectfully, Miigwetch!

I have a Spirit Guide of Native American descent and I am wanting to know the following. I have seen black paste or could be charcoal smudged on the side of the face close to out eye. Or on the wrist. Is this to ward of the wandering spirits.

FANTASTIC!! I grew up on Rolling River First Nation and when our loved ones die we too practice the same beliefs. It is incredible that our traditions are kept and passed on throughout time.

I was told by someone that when you place a piece of cedar face down it represents a burial. How do you tell the top from the bottom of cedar and is this a Ojibwe teaching

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• REINCARNATION

Life After Death: Different Views on the Afterlife

by The Enlightenment Journey ·

Exploring the Concept of Life After Death

Life after death is a topic that has fascinated humanity for centuries. It delves into the unknown, the mysterious, and the profound questions about what happens when our physical bodies cease to exist. The idea of an afterlife spans across different cultures, religions, and philosophies, each offering its unique perspective on what awaits us beyond the veil of mortality. Whether it’s the promise of paradise, reincarnation, or simply the cessation of consciousness, beliefs about the afterlife shape how we perceive the meaning of life and death.

As humans, we grapple with the concept of our mortality, constantly seeking answers to what lies beyond the finality of death. The exploration of life after death provides us with a glimpse into the possibilities of existence beyond our earthly realm. It prompts us to ponder the nature of consciousness, the soul, and the interconnectedness of all living beings. Whether driven by faith, curiosity, or a quest for meaning, the concept of life after death ignites a spark of wonder within us all.

Historical Beliefs on the Afterlife

Throughout history, various civilizations have held diverse beliefs about the afterlife. Ancient Egyptians, for example, believed in the journey of the soul through the underworld, where it would be judged before entering the eternal realm. In contrast, Greek mythology depicted the afterlife as a realm ruled by gods and goddesses, with different fates awaiting the souls of the deceased based on their actions in life. These historical beliefs reflect the cultural values, traditions, and superstitions prevalent in different societies at the time.

In Norse mythology, warriors who died in battle were said to be taken to Valhalla, a majestic hall ruled by Odin where they would feast and fight until the final battle of Ragnarok. These ancient beliefs in the afterlife served not only as a way to explain the mysteries of existence but also as a means to instill moral values and provide comfort in the face of death. The diverse historical perspectives on the afterlife remind us of the enduring human quest to understand the mysteries of life, death, and what lies beyond.

Scientific Perspectives on the Afterlife

From a scientific standpoint, the concept of life after death presents a myriad of challenges and unanswered questions. While neuroscientists study the intricacies of the brain and consciousness, the idea of a soul or spirit existing beyond death remains elusive. The scientific method, rooted in empirical evidence and observable phenomena, struggles to provide concrete answers about what, if anything, awaits us after we pass away.

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Some researchers have explored near-death experiences (NDEs) as potential glimpses into the afterlife, where individuals report profound visions, feelings of peace, and encounters with deceased loved ones. While these experiences have been documented and studied, they remain controversial within the scientific community, with skeptics attributing them to brain chemistry, hallucinations, or other physiological factors. The scientific perspective on the afterlife underscores the importance of critical thinking, empirical evidence, and rational inquiry in navigating the complexities of this profound topic.

Religious Views on What Happens After Death

Religious traditions around the world offer a rich tapestry of beliefs about the afterlife, each providing followers with a roadmap for spiritual salvation and eternal peace. Christianity, for example, teaches that those who accept Jesus Christ as their savior will attain salvation and be reunited with God in heaven. Islam, on the other hand, promises paradise to those who have lived righteous lives according to the teachings of the Quran. These religious views on the afterlife serve as a source of comfort, guidance, and hope for billions of believers worldwide.

In Hinduism, the concept of reincarnation plays a central role in understanding the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. According to Hindu beliefs, the soul transmigrates from one body to another based on karma, ultimately seeking liberation (moksha) from the cycle of samsara. Buddhism offers a similar perspective on reincarnation, emphasizing the impermanence of existence and the path to enlightenment (nirvana). The diverse religious views on what happens after death highlight the profound influence of faith, scripture, and tradition on shaping our understanding of the afterlife.

Cultural Differences in Beliefs About the Afterlife

Cultural differences play a significant role in shaping beliefs about the afterlife, with each society offering its unique interpretation of what awaits us beyond death. In traditional Chinese culture, for example, ancestor veneration and rituals honoring the deceased are central to ensuring their well-being in the afterlife. In Native American traditions, the concept of the spirit world and the interconnectedness of all living beings form the foundation of beliefs about the afterlife.

Similarly, African cultures often view death as a transformative journey to the realm of the ancestors, where spirits guide and protect the living. These cultural differences in beliefs about the afterlife reflect the diversity of human experiences, values, and perspectives on life, death, and the mysteries of existence. They remind us of the richness and complexity of human culture and the various ways in which we seek to make sense of the unknown.

Near-Death Experiences and Their Impact

Near-death experiences (NDEs) have captivated the public imagination and sparked intense debate about the nature of consciousness, the afterlife, and the boundaries of human experience. Individuals who have undergone NDEs often report vivid sensations of leaving their bodies, traveling through a tunnel of light, and encountering deceased loved ones or spiritual beings. These profound experiences can have a profound impact on those who undergo them, leading to spiritual awakenings, shifts in beliefs, and a newfound appreciation for life.

While skeptics may attribute NDEs to physiological processes, hallucinations, or the brain’s response to trauma, those who have experienced them often describe them as transformative and life-changing. The study of near-death experiences continues to challenge our understanding of consciousness, the mind-body connection, and the nature of reality itself. Whether viewed as glimpses into the afterlife or products of the brain’s chemistry, NDEs offer a fascinating window into the mysteries of existence and the human quest for meaning.

The Role of Reincarnation in Different Cultures

Reincarnation, the belief that the soul can be reborn into a new body after death, is a central tenet of many spiritual and religious traditions around the world. In Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and other Eastern religions, reincarnation forms the cornerstone of understanding the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. According to these beliefs, the soul evolves through multiple lifetimes, learning karmic lessons and seeking spiritual enlightenment.

In Western cultures, the concept of reincarnation has also gained popularity, with many individuals recalling past-life memories, undergoing regression therapy, or exploring the idea of soul contracts and soul groups. The role of reincarnation in different cultures speaks to the universal human desire for continuity, growth, and transcendence beyond the limitations of our physical bodies. Whether viewed as a metaphor, a spiritual truth, or a philosophical concept, reincarnation offers a compelling lens through which to explore the mysteries of existence and the interconnectedness of all living beings.

Modern Interpretations of the Afterlife

In modern times, the concept of the afterlife has undergone new interpretations and adaptations in response to scientific discoveries, technological advancements, and changing cultural norms. Some individuals view the afterlife as a metaphor for the legacy we leave behind, the impact we have on others, and the memories that endure beyond our physical presence. Others see the afterlife as a realm of consciousness, energy, and interconnectedness that transcends the limitations of the material world.

The rise of spiritual movements, new age philosophies, and metaphysical practices has introduced fresh perspectives on the afterlife, blending ancient wisdom with contemporary insights about consciousness, quantum physics, and the nature of reality. Whether through meditation, guided visualization, or altered states of consciousness, modern interpretations of the afterlife invite us to explore the depths of our own consciousness, the interconnectedness of all life, and the mysteries that lie beyond our everyday perception.

Atheistic Perspectives on Death and Beyond

For atheists and agnostics who do not believe in a higher power, soul, or afterlife, death is often viewed as the cessation of consciousness, the end of our individual existence, and the return to the natural cycle of life. From a materialistic perspective, the brain generates consciousness, thoughts, and emotions, which cease to exist once the body dies. Atheistic perspectives on death and beyond emphasize the importance of living fully in the present moment, making meaningful connections with others, and leaving a positive impact on the world.

While atheistic views on death may lack the promise of an afterlife or spiritual salvation, they underscore the value of human connection, empathy, and the pursuit of knowledge and truth. Atheists often find solace in the beauty of the natural world, the wonders of science, and the richness of human experience, seeing death as a natural part of the cycle of life that gives meaning to our fleeting existence.

Philosophical Musings on Life After Death

Philosophers throughout history have grappled with the concept of life after death, exploring questions of consciousness, identity, morality, and the nature of existence. From Plato’s allegory of the cave to Descartes’ dualism of mind and body, philosophical musings on life after death delve into the complexities of human nature, the limits of knowledge, and the mysteries of the soul. While some philosophers argue for the immortality of the soul, others posit that death is the final end of our individual consciousness.

Existentialists like Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus confront the absurdity of existence, the inevitability of death, and the need to create meaning in a seemingly indifferent universe. Their philosophical musings on life after death challenge us to confront our mortality, embrace the uncertainties of existence, and find purpose in the face of the unknown. Whether through reason, intuition, or existential reflection, philosophical explorations of life after death offer a window into the human quest for meaning, truth, and transcendence.

How Beliefs in the Afterlife Influence Behavior

Beliefs about the afterlife can have a profound impact on human behavior, shaping our moral values, ethical decisions, and attitudes towards life and death. For those who believe in a divine judgment, heaven or hell, the prospect of an afterlife based on one’s actions in this life can serve as a powerful motivator for living virtuously, helping others, and seeking spiritual enlightenment. Religious teachings about the afterlife often emphasize the importance of compassion, forgiveness, and selflessness as pathways to spiritual salvation.

Cultural beliefs about the afterlife can also influence societal norms, rituals, and traditions surrounding death, mourning, and the commemoration of the deceased. Practices like ancestor veneration, funeral rites, and memorial ceremonies reflect our beliefs about the continuity of life beyond death and the interconnectedness of past, present, and future generations. The role of beliefs in the afterlife in influencing behavior highlights the profound impact of spirituality, faith, and tradition on shaping our values, actions, and perceptions of the world.

Coping with Grief and the Idea of an Afterlife

The idea of an afterlife can provide solace, comfort, and hope to those grappling with the loss of a loved one, the inevitability of death, or the uncertainties of existence. Beliefs in heaven, reincarnation, or spiritual transcendence offer a sense of continuity, connection, and meaning in the face of grief and loss. They remind us that we are part of something greater than ourselves, that our lives have purpose and significance, and that our loved ones continue to exist in some form beyond the physical realm.

Coping with grief and the idea of an afterlife can be a deeply personal and emotional journey, requiring us to confront our fears, doubts, and uncertainties about what lies beyond. Whether through prayer, meditation, rituals, or conversations with others, the belief in an afterlife can provide a source of strength, resilience, and healing in times of loss and sorrow. It offers a way to navigate the complexities of grief, find meaning in suffering, and honor the memories of those we have lost.

In conclusion, the concept of life after death presents a fascinating tapestry of beliefs, perspectives, and interpretations that span across cultures, religions, and philosophies. From historical myths and religious teachings to scientific inquiries and personal experiences, the afterlife remains a profound mystery that continues to captivate human imagination and curiosity. Whether viewed as a divine promise, a scientific enigma, or a philosophical conundrum, beliefs about the afterlife shape how we perceive the meaning of life, death, and the mysteries of existence. As we navigate the complexities of mortality, consciousness, and the unknown, the idea of an afterlife offers us a glimpse into the infinite possibilities of what lies beyond our earthly realm.

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How to Find Closure After a Tragic Loss: Navigating the Healing Journey

by illume Editorial Team | Jul 28, 2023

Understanding the Stages of Grief

The grieving process is not linear, and it’s crucial to remember that there is no “right” way to grieve. However, understanding the common stages of grief can help you navigate your emotions. The stages of grief may include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s normal to experience these emotions in varying intensities and not necessarily in any particular order. Give yourself the space to process these feelings as they arise.

Embracing the Healing Journey

Finding closure after the death of a loved one is a healing journey unique to each individual. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve without judgement or haste. Healing is not about forgetting your loved one; it’s about accepting that they are no longer physically present and finding a way to honour their memory while continuing your life in a meaningful way.

The Importance of Allowing Yourself to Mourn

Grief can be overwhelming, and you might find yourself trying to suppress your emotions to appear strong. However, allowing yourself to mourn is a necessary part of the healing process. Embrace your feelings and seek support from friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your loved one and sharing memories can be therapeutic and help you find comfort during this challenging time.

Seeking Counselling or Therapy

Sometimes, the weight of grief can become too much to bear alone. Seeking counselling or therapy can provide a safe space to express your emotions without judgement. A professional counsellor can guide you through the healing process, offer coping strategies, and provide valuable support as you search for closure and peace.

Accepting the Reality of Loss

One of the hardest parts of finding closure after the death of a loved one is accepting the reality of the loss. It’s natural to hold onto hope that they will return or that the situation is a terrible dream. However, acceptance is a crucial step towards healing. It doesn’t mean you have to forget your loved one; it means acknowledging that they are no longer with you physically.

Honouring Your Loved One’s Memory

Finding closure doesn’t mean closing the door on the memories you shared with your loved one. Instead, it’s about cherishing those memories and finding ways to honor their life. Create a memorial, start a charitable initiative in their name, or celebrate their birthday with their favourite activities. Doing so can help you feel connected to them and keep their spirit alive.

Finding Meaning in the Pain

As you navigate your grief journey, remember that pain and suffering can lead to personal growth and profound insights. While it might not seem apparent now, your grief can open your heart to empathy and understanding, allowing you to offer support to others who are experiencing loss.

Embracing the Healing Process

The healing process takes time, so be patient with yourself. There’s no deadline for finding closure or “getting over” your loss. Healing is about learning to live with the absence of your loved one while finding joy in life once again.

Finding closure after the death of a loved one is a deeply personal and challenging process. Remember that you are not alone in this journey; countless others have experienced similar pain and found their way to healing. Embrace the stages of grief, seek support, and allow yourself the time to mourn. While the pain of losing someone we love never completely fades, finding closure can help us move forward with a newfound sense of peace and acceptance.

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Tish Harrison Warren

What I Believe About Life After Death

By Tish Harrison Warren

Opinion Writer

My friend Thomas died in August. His death was sudden and tragic. He and his 22-year-old child were killed in a car accident.

Thomas was the priest who introduced me to Anglicanism a decade ago. He explained to me why ministers wear purple during the season of Advent, why people make the sign of the cross in church, why we take communion. He opened me up to a whole world that I didn’t know existed, a world that feels enchanted, beautiful and poetic. He was also one of the first people I told that I was considering ordination, and he mentored and guided me through the yearslong process of becoming a priest myself.

In the last couple of years, Thomas and I spoke less often, and mostly online or over email. But I find I think of him every day now. This month, for his sabbatical, he was supposed to be walking the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile path that has been a religious pilgrimage since around the 10th century. He trained for months. Each day, I wonder where he would have been on the trail had he lived.

It feels to me like something went wrong. He can’t die, I think. He’d made plans. He had so much left to do. A journey interrupted.

Death, for all of us, is a journey interrupted. I feel this acutely when someone young dies. But not only then. When my father passed away in his 70s, I felt like there was so much that still needed to happen, so many more conversations we needed to have. He’d always wanted to see the Panama Canal. There were grandchildren in his future that needed him to be alive.

The week before Easter, Thomas would lead a Tenebrae service — a gathering focused on the waning light as Good Friday approaches. These services, in Thomas’s hands, were gorgeous works of art, incorporating film clips, live music and poetry. One year, he played a clip of the beloved children’s author Maurice Sendak in an interview with Terry Gross.

Sendak’s frail, gravelly voice spoke of his brother who had passed away: “It makes me cry only when I see my friends go before me and life is emptied. I don’t believe in an afterlife, but I still fully expect to see my brother again.” Though he was an atheist, Sendak couldn’t shake the hope for another glimpse of his brother’s face. There is something deep within us that rejects the idea that the road just stops. We feel there must be more. We must be made for more: more conversations, more laughter, more breaths to take, more miles to walk along the trail.

Reading the Bible, I notice how Jesus’ death, too, feels like a journey interrupted. There was so much more he could have explained, so many more people to heal, so much more to be done. After his death, most of his closest friends hid out, lost in grief and fear. And I wonder if this was in part because they thought that this wasn’t how things were supposed to end. They had plans. They were part of a revolutionary brotherhood. And then it suddenly was over.

I saw my friend Pete at Thomas’s funeral. Pete and Thomas were close friends and he told me about how he would miss their weekly breakfasts together at the Waffle House. He also told me that since Thomas had died he kept thinking about the story of Jesus’ resurrection and what it must have been like for the disciples to experience it. What struck him anew was how it would feel to be in deepest grief and then suddenly see your friend again. There is a deeply intimate and human reunion story amid the larger cosmic meaning of the resurrection account. A community of friends was broken and then, somehow, against all hope, remade.

The truth is, no one — not priests, not scientists, not the most ardent atheist, not the most steadfast believer — can be 100 percent certain about what happens to us after we die. Each week at church, when we say the Nicene Creed, I affirm that I believe in “the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.”

I believe that after I die, somehow mysteriously but also materially, Jesus will raise me up to live on this good earth, made new. I believe this because I believe that Jesus is risen from the dead. Specifically, I believe the witness of the disciples and others who lived and died for their claim that they (and somewhere around 500 others) had seen Jesus alive again and spoken to and touched him. That’s ultimately why I believe there’s a God at all and why I believe God has defeated death.

As a priest, when I talk about life after death with others, I tend to keep it objective, theological and creedal. I worry about making resurrected life sound sentimental, as though we are just making stuff up, dreaming of what we wish was true. So I try to be evenhanded and factual.

But the fact is, I believe this is true, and I believe there are good reasons to believe it’s true, but I also want it to be true.

I hate death. I have never made my peace with it and I never will. I don’t want to live in a world where everything good suddenly ends.

Like Maurice Sendak, I want to see the people I love again.

I hope that my longing for eternity — for joy and pleasure and friendship and beauty to last — is there because it whispers of something that is true. I hope that death feels wrong to me because it really is wrong, it really is not how things are meant to be. And I hope that this hope for more is not silly or delusional. I hope to see my friends again and that death is an interruption, but not an ending.

Have feedback? Send a note to [email protected] .

Tish Harrison Warren ( @Tish_H_Warren ) is a priest in the Anglican Church in North America and the author of “ Prayer in the Night: For Those Who Work or Watch or Weep.”

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January 18th was the 20th anniversary of Vinney’s death. Thank you to everyone who joined us on the call!

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The Light After Death is the stunning true story of Vincent’s experience on the other side of death. Learn the 10 principles that he was taught while traveling to heaven, and what he saw when he arrived.

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This book was literally life changing for me. It not only explained why the world is the way it is right now; it gave me hope in what's to come."

I received The Light After Death  today. I opened it intending to read the 1st chapter. 3-4 hours later, I have nearly finished it. This is a well-written book that has the complex task of conveying experiences in dimensions beyond this planet. The author and Mr. Tolman have accomplished this in a way that speaks to my spirit… I need to order more books for Christmas giving.

I just want to reiterate how grateful I am for Vinney's story! It is just so awesome to hear and feel his experience on the other side, and for the many ideas in my head that were confirmed by reading it, as well as the new insights that were brought to life. I honestly had a discussion in my head with the grass before I cut it this morning LOL.

I just finished reading The Light After Death . I honestly don't have the words to describe how beautiful this book is or the feelings I have. I couldn't put it down and now I have to read it again so that I can make notes and study it. Thank you for bringing this amazing testimony to my life.

Read it, shared it, ordered more…this book is changing lives, BIG TIME!  It’s an answer to prayers. Thank you!

Vincent's Story

Nineteen years ago, Vincent Tolman was found dead in the bathroom of a small restaurant. He had been dead for over half an hour.

When paramedics arrived, they put him in a body bag and took him away. A rookie paramedic had a feeling to risk his career, break all protocols, and try to resuscitate Vincent. Miraculously, he restarted Vincent’s heart, and Vincent was in a coma for three days.

Vincent remembers what happened on the “other side” while he was dead, and he’s ready to share his experience.

Join the Community

We know you’ll have questions, so we are planning live video calls with Vincent. You can stay informed of important updates, events, and special offers by sharing your email address . Don’t worry, we’ll never share your information, and you can opt out at any time.

Living God’s Light is our online community of light-minded individuals dedicated to increasing Light and Love in the world. Join us to help s pread the word about this life-changing story!

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The Light After Death: My Journey To Heaven and Back.: Vincent Tolman's near death experience and journey to heaven and back. Kindle Edition

• Print length 145 pages
• Language English
• Sticky notes On Kindle Scribe
• Publication date September 11, 2022
• Reading age 17 - 18 years
• File size 493 KB
• Page Flip Enabled
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• ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0BF1B6RVB
• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ascendt Publishing (September 11, 2022)
• Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 11, 2022
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• File size ‏ : ‎ 493 KB
• Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
• Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
• Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
• Print length ‏ : ‎ 145 pages
• #24 in New Age Reincarnation
• #25 in Occult Astral Projection
• #104 in Reincarnation (Books)

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Vincent todd tolman.

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12 Insights Into Grieving After The Death Of Your Loved One

Understanding Grief is Another Expression of Love

Helping A Grieving Grandparent

12 Insights into Grieving After the Death of Your Loved One By Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., BCETS, BCBT

The journey through grief is different for all of us … we all take our own path.

Someone you love has died. This presents you with one of the most challenging experiences any human being can face—coping with the loss of your loved one in your life. In this article, you will learn about your grief (experiencing your reactions to the loss of your loved one) and your mourning (making necessary readjustments to ultimately fit that loss into your life).

Learning how to grieve healthfully and to mourn so that you can learn to adapt to life in the absence of your loved one, is no simple task. It often requires more work, takes more time and is more impacting than most people anticipate. These 12 insights will help you better appreciate the true realities of your own particular bereavement, respond more effectively to what you encounter in it and have more appropriate expectations of yourself along the way.

Insight #1: Grief is personal and unique.

Your grief is as personal and unique as your fingerprint; no one else will have the same bereavement experience as you and there is not one “correct” way to respond to loss.

There are literally 37 sets of factors that influence any individual’s grief. They combine to make your own bereavement distinct from everybody else’s—even different from that of others in your own family who are mourning the loss of the same person! Although one person has died, you and every other individual mourning that person actually experience different losses. This is because no 2 people can have the exact same relationship with another individual, and it is the loss of that specific relationship that is mourned when the person died. Also, it is because no 2 people ever bring to a situation the same strengths and weaknesses, the same past experiences or the same social and cultural conditioning.

• The nature and meaning of their particular relationship with the person who died.
• Their own personal characteristics and life history.
• The specific aspects of their loved one’s death.
• The social situation surrounding them.
• Their physical state.

Given all of the things that determine a person’s reactions, you can see why there is absolutely no way in which anyone else could grieve or mourn in the very same way as you. For this reason as well, there is no one correct way to respond to loss. While there are some common processes that people must undergo to learn to live healthfully with a major loss, everyone will go about these in their unique fashion.

• Do not let anyone tell you how you need to grieve and mourn.
• Be careful about comparing your experiences with those of others.

Insight #2: You are dealing with more than one loss.

With the death of your loved one, you experience so much more than merely one loss. The losses that go along with or develop as a consequence of your loved one’s death are known as secondary losses.

They are not necessarily secondary in terms of their importance to you, only in terms of their being dependent upon the death of your loved one. Secondary losses, like any other losses, can be either physical (for instance, the loss of a house because you cannot afford to live there anymore) or psycho-social (for example, the loss of a relationship). Part of mourning your loved one means identifying and mourning the inevitable secondary losses that develop for you as a consequence of your loved one’s death.

• The loss of the roles that your loved one specifically had played for you (for instance, spouse, best friend, sexual partner, confidant, cook, co-parent, travel companion).
• The loss of meaning and satisfaction in the role you played in your loved one's life.
• The loss of all of the hopes and dreams you had for and with that person.

Secondary losses in your assumptive world

Importantly, secondary losses can also occur in what is known as your assumptive world. This is the unique set of expectations, assumptions and beliefs that you formerly had held about life, the ways it works, spiritual matters and the existence of your loved ones. With the death of your loved one, you lose all of the assumptions, expectations and beliefs that had been based upon your loved one being alive (for example, “he’ll always be there for me if I need him” or “she will make me a grandparent”).

• your belief in God
• your security in the world
• your expectations about life being predictable and fair

These are additional secondary losses you must deal with over and above the actual loss of that person.

• Over time, identify the secondary losses that come to you as a result of your loved one’s death so that you can mourn them—they are part of your bereavement.
• Work to revise your assumptive world insofar as elements of it are no longer valid or have been shattered because of your loved one’s death.

Insight #3: Don't underestimate your grief.

The depth and breadth of your acute grief reactions to the loss of your loved one should not be underestimated.

• Your feelings about the loss and the deprivation it causes (for example, sorrow, depression, guilt).
• Your product at the loss and your wish to undo it and have it not be true (such as, anger, “searching” for your lost loved one, preoccupation with that person).
• The personal effects caused to you by the assault of this loss upon you (for instance, fear and anxiety, disorganization and confusion, lack of physical well-being).
• Your personal behaviors stimulated by any of the above (including, among others, crying, social withdrawal, increased use of drugs and alcohol).
• Psychologically in your feelings, thoughts, wishes, perceptions and attempts at coping.
• Through your behaviors.
• In your social responses to others.
• Through your physical health.
• it can be so unexpectedly intense
• can make you feel very different than before
• may overtax your normal coping mechanisms
• can sometimes leave you feeling totally numb
• typically involves so many more aspects of your life than you would have expected

For instance, you might be surprised to find that while you may have assumed that you’d have many emotional reactions to your loved one’s death, you didn’t anticipate that you’d have difficulty remembering what you needed at the grocery store or even how to get there. You can be stunned to discover that your normally clear thinking has diminished, your usual sunny disposition has temporarily disappeared, your concern for others has evaporated at this point or that your decision-making abilities are gone for now. The job or personal activities you’ve been engaged in for years might now seem strange and may require much personal effort, if you can muster it at all. These and an infinite variety of other reactions illustrate that with the death of your loved one, for a period of time your world—and your experience of being in it—is different than ever before

• Remember that this is a process and not a state you will stay stuck in. Give yourself permission to express your reactions in ways that work for you.
• Recognize that your reactions may be quite diverse and different than you had anticipated, often making you feel very different than your usual self.

Insight #4: Grief does not solely affect your emotions.

Grief does not mean that you will only be sad. It is a myth that grief solely affects your feelings. Grief is a “whole person” experience, and you probably will notice it affecting most, or all, areas of your life. Some people can cope better in some areas than others (for example, you may be able to control it when you are at work, although you might have more difficulty doing so on the ride home). However, there are plenty of mourners who have difficulty across the board in all parts of their lives.

It is also a myth that sadness is the only emotion you will experience. There are a great many other feelings that can come with the loss of a loved one.

• helplessness
• feeling overwhelmed
• longing for your loved one
• frustration
• feelings of unreality
• abandonment
• fear of going crazy
• impaired concentration
• disorganization
• obsession with your loved one
• avoidance of things associated with the death
• intrusive thoughts and flashbacks
• spiritual distress
• restlessness or agitation
• a sense of meaninglessness

Sometimes you may feel disconnected from others with whom you’ve previously been close. At other times, you can wonder “what’s the use?” and wish that you could die too. While these are not abnormal in the abstract, if you seriously consider suicide or fail to take appropriate care of yourself in such a way that you put yourself at risk for death from illness or injury, then you must seek professional assistance.

Behavioral changes

Additionally, you can expect that your behavior will be affected for a while. Among many possible reactions, you may find that you respond to others differently than you had before. Your behavior could be more disorganized and you might have little interest in those things that were formerly of concern to you. You may cry or, on the other hand, have no ability to shed a tear. You could have sleep problems and appetite changes; develop temporary problems in your personal, social and work functioning; and become physically run down or have specific medical symptoms that indicate stress, depression and anxiety. A lack of feeling of well-being is common. You should be aware that the loss of a loved one leaves you susceptible to illness and injury. As a result, you will need both to monitor yourself and take care of yourself, including getting proper medical care.

• Expect that you will be affected in all, or many, areas of your life.
• Make sure you have proper medical assistance with those reactions that are medical in nature and seek mental health assistance if you are suicidal, self-destructive or worried that your reactions are abnormal.

Insight #5: It takes time.

Your acute grief entails your having to gradually learn the reality of your loved one’s loss, and to appreciate that you cannot grasp that fact or its implications without sufficient time and experiences to “teach” you. Intellectually, you may know right away in your head that your loved one has died. However, it takes much longer to truly recognize this reality and internalize it to where it is something you can understand

24 hours a day, 7 days a week

Even if it is not a sudden death, but particularly if it is, you have to learn that your loved one is no longer here through your experiences of bumping up against the world in their absence. This means that grief and mourning focus not only on your feelings, but also upon your comprehending that your loved one has died and your ultimate making sense of that reality.

Each time you want and need to be with your loved one—to see, touch, hear, taste or smell that person—and you are frustrated in your desire to do so, you “learn” once again that your loved one is dead. In acute grief, each pang of grief, each stab of pain when your expectation, desire or need for your loved one is unmet, brings you yet another “lesson” that your loved one is no longer here. You want to resist it and have the “lesson” not be true. Like a habit you don’t want to relinquish, you don’t want to let go of having your loved one in your life.

After countless times of experiencing an unrequited need to be reunited with that loved one, you learn not to need that person in the same way as before. This is not an all-or-nothing event. It is a process in which you have fluctuating abilities to grasp the reality of the death. This occurs until at some point it becomes a permanent realization for you, despite your wishes to the contrary.

• Understand that much of the painfulness of your bereavement comes from your having to continuously “learn” over a period of time that your loved one has died.
• Expect that it will take you many months, or in the case of sudden death a couple of years, before you can truly and permanently grasp that your loved one is gone and understand the implications of that (while in the interim, you’ll fluctuate in your comprehension of it).

Insight #6: Grief is not the same as mourning.

You need to do more to cope with your loved one’s death than just express your feelings. While many people use the terms grief and mourning interchangeably, they are different in meaning and their distinctions have important implications for you as a mourner.

• Grief is the process of experiencing your reactions to your loss.
• In contrast, mourning is what you do to cope with that loss being in your life.

While mourning commences with your expression of your grief reactions, it then must include much more. This is because merely expressing feelings won’t accomplish what you need to do—which is to make the necessary internal and external changes to be able to incorporate that loss into your ongoing life and learn to live with it.

Mourning demands that over time you make a series of readjustments to cope with, compensate for and adapt to your losses.

• yourself in terms of your relationship with your deceased loved one (you have to move from a here-and-now physical relationship to an abstract relationship).
• yourself (you must make the changes that the death has made necessary in your assumptive world and in your identity).
• your being in the external world (you need to learn how to live healthfully in the new world without your loved one).

Healthy mourning also means that you relearn the world in the absence of your loved one and that you reconstruct meaning in your life in light of this death and what it has brought to you. For all of these reasons, merely expressing your grief without undertaking the necessary changes to fit the loss into your life is simply insufficient in coping with major loss.

Suggestions:

• Over time work to make the necessary readjustments in your relationship with your loved one, in yourself and in your ways of being in the external world so that you can fit this loss into your life.

Insight #7: The circumstances of this death will have a profound influence on you.

One of the strongest elements influencing your grief and mourning is the type of death your loved one experienced.

Sudden death

To whatever extent the death was sudden and unanticipated, you will experience a type of personal traumatization along with your grief. This comes from the death having caught you off-guard and unprepared. Such a death is often shocking, alarmingly disturbing and frighteningly distressing. It acts to increase the problems and distress you experience with the loss, while at the same time temporarily decreasing your coping abilities and psychological functioning. In essence, you have more to deal with and fewer resources to help you do so.

• heightened emotional reactions
• no opportunity to say good-bye and finish unfinished emotional business
• greater disbelief
• a focus on what was happening in the relationship at the time of the death
• a tendency to obsessively review events that led up to it

If you believe that your loved one’s death was preventable, you may feel a need to determine responsibility and secure appropriate punishment for those deemed at fault.

A life-threatening illness

Losing a loved one from a life-threatening illness brings its own issues to your bereavement. You may have undergone a special type of traumatization as you contended with the separation distress evoked by your witnessing of your loved one’s dying. You can have even further traumatization if you were exposed to horrific stimuli (such as sights, smells, sounds) during the illness or were confronted with overwhelming emotions (such as anxiety, guilt, sorrow, depression, anger, helplessness) and/or conflicting demands (for instance, taking care of your dying loved one while still trying to pay attention to other family members).

If, during the illness, you had the understandable wish for it to end or had prayed for respite and relief, after the death you can feel guilty if you fail to appreciate the normalcy of this. The length, course and specific demands of the illness may have left you and your family depleted psychologically, socially, physically and financially. You may not know what to do with your life now that you are no longer a caregiver to a dying person.

• If your loved one died suddenly, get yourself assistance in coping with the personal traumatization you experienced and the extra reactions you have.
• If your loved one died from an illness, develop an accurate appreciation of how illness can affect those left behind and look for ways to rejoin the world if you had spent much of your time care-taking.

Insight #8: Your grief will not proceed in a fixed sequence.

Your grief reactions will not necessarily decline consistently over time or be over in a year, and will not fail to come up again once they subside. Despite popular notions otherwise, there is not a standard series of stages through which you must pass in your grief. Certainly, some reactions do precede others (for instance, if you do not acknowledge the reality of your loss, then you have nothing to mourn). However, for the most part there is not a rigid sequence that unfolds. Along with this, it is not true that grief reactions necessarily diminish in intensity in a straight line over time.

The ups and downs

Depending upon the circumstances of your loved one’s death and your own situation as a mourner, your grief can fluctuate enormously. It may have ups and downs, twists and turns and absences and presences of different reactions as time moves forward. Often mourners can incorrectly believe that there is something wrong with them when they feel worse after feeling better for a while. Many times, this merely reflects their coming out of their shock, their increasing awareness of the reality of the death, or the fact that others are not offering support as they had earlier.

Because different bereavements have such diverse patterns, it is important that you get accurate information before assuming that you’re not normal because your reactions are not consistently diminishing.

There is nothing magical about the one-year period that so many people incorrectly believe should mark the end of your grief. Your grief reactions will subside when it is time for them to do so in your unique situation, not just because 365 days have passed. For some mourners this will have been sufficient time; for others, it won’t have been.

Even after your acute grief reactions are long gone, there may be many times in the future when certain experiences catalyze what are termed "subsequent temporary upsurges of grief" or STUG reactions. These are brief periods of acute grief for the loss of your loved one that are stimulated by something that underscores the absence of your loved one and/or resurrects memories of the death, your loved one or your feelings about the loss. Everyone can expect to have some of these in life after the loss of a loved one. While sometimes they can signal problems, far more often they merely are part of the normal living with the loss of a beloved person.

• Give yourself permission to have your reactions unfold without automatically thinking you are backsliding if you feel worse after feeling better.
• Incorporate into your long-term view that your grief reactions can last longer than a year and that there will be times, long after you have stopped acutely grieving, that your grief reactions will temporarily be resurrected by events in life. This is a normal part of living with the loss of a loved one.

Insight #9: Healthy mourning does not mean "letting go" of your lost loved one.

In our society, there is a curious social phenomenon. On the one hand, we have relationships with dead people all the time. We learn about dead people in history, are influenced by them in philosophy and are moved by them in the arts. We celebrate holidays to remember them, dedicate buildings in their honor and visit museums to see how they lived. In virtually all aspects of our lives, we are in a “relationship” with the dead.

The double standard

However, on the other hand we are told that we have to “get on with life” and “let go and put the past behind.” It seems that in Western society it is acceptable to have a relationship with a dead person as long as you didn’t know that individual personally. This is why you could be criticized for displaying a certain photograph of your departed loved one, but it is permissible to have Princess Diana’s face on a memorial plate hanging on your wall. Clearly, there is a double standard.

• truly recognizes the reality of your loved one’s death and what its implications are for you
• does not keep you from moving forward adaptively in your new life
• talk about that person
• act on their concerns and values
• think about him/her
• consider his/her feelings and perspectives on matters when actions are necessary
• appropriate identification with your loved one
• use tangible objects (such as photographs, videos, mementos, articles of clothing, prized possessions, or jewelry) to be a symbolic mark of his/her existence in your life
• pray to your loved one
• actively recall memories
• enjoy and appreciate life because of having known and loved him/her
• undertake actions to make sure that he/she is remembered and/or that something meaningful comes out of their death
• Discover ways that are healthy and personally meaningful to you in which you can maintain appropriate connections with your loved one, recognizing that others may think this unhealthy.
• If it is important for you, look for ways to take courses of action that can constructively keep your loved one’s memory alive socially.

Insight #10: Others will not understand.

Others will not necessarily understand what you are going through or know how to reach out and support you. Despite the fact that people have lost loved ones from the beginning of time, the human race is not always very effective in consoling and supporting the bereaved. This means that even though you are the mourner, and perhaps extremely overwhelmed and exhausted, you will often have to be the one to summon the energy to educate those around you about what you are experiencing and how they can be helpful to you. Also, because there is so much misinformation about grief and mourning, you have to help these individuals get rid of the incorrect notions so that they can take in more accurate ones.

This is not to discourage you, but to enable you to better understand why some folks may not be doing what you need and why their expectation of you can be so inaccurate. Most of the errors made by others that hurt you stem from a combination of people’s misunderstandings about your experience and from their trying to protect themselves from awareness of what you are undergoing because it is simply too painful and/or scary for them to contemplate.

• Ask for what you need from others.
• Don’t expect others to know what your needs are and what your limits should be.

Insight #11: Do not ignore the children.

Because children do not respond exactly like adults does not mean that they don’t need to be given information about the death or to be included in the family’s activities and discussions around it. Consistently, people underestimate their children’s needs when it comes to bereavement.

• They don’t understand.
• They don’t need to be involved.
• They can easily be brushed off about the topic.
• They are relatively oblivious to the subtle and not-so-subtle distress of others.
• They don’t think and worry about death and what its implications are for them and their loved ones.

Far too often, this results in children failing to receive the necessary communication, information and support that could best help them to contend with their own grief and mourning and that of others.

While it is true that children are in many ways different than adults and do require that their bereavement needs be responded to by adults in fashions that speak to their particular developmental levels, it is also true that children and adults share many things in common. Among these are the need to have their losses acknowledged and to have the support and resources that can best help them to deal with their reactions to the death of their loved one.

Educate yourself

It is beyond the scope of this article to educate in-depth about the needs and experiences of bereaved children. Suffice it to say that it is crucial that the caring adults in a child’s life be aware of the issue in childhood bereavement and respond appropriately to them. Failure to do so can interfere not only with healthy mourning, but also with overall healthy development of the child in general. It is also critical that adults remain aware that one of the most important determinants of a child’s grief and mourning is how that child’s caretaking adults are affected by their own bereavement. For these reasons, it is important that you seek out information about bereaved children and how to assist them from a well-trained physician, clergy person, counselor, funeral director or educator. Often, reputable support groups have this information as well.

• Operate with the knowledge that children do grieve and mourn and that you need to find the most effective ways to support them.
• Appropriately include children in rituals (such as funerals, remembrance services and religious ceremonies), family activities and conversations pertaining to their deceased loved one, but make sure to do it at levels that are suitable for their developmental ages.

Insight #12: Many mourners have the wrong notion about what "recovery" means.

Even if you grieve and mourn in the healthiest ways possible, there will always be an emotional scar that marks the loss of your loved one. Learning to live healthfully with that scar is the very best that a mourner can expect. Like physical scars, the scar of your loved one’s loss reveals that there has been an injury, but does not have to interfere with current functioning. Also, like physical scars, on some occasions there can be pain (for instance, if you bang the scar or the weather is bad), but in general it does not ache or throb.

"Recovery" is a relative term

“Recovery” after the death of a loved one must be put in quotes to illustrate that it is a relative term. It does not mean a once-and-for-all closure in which you complete your mourning and it never surfaces again. There will be numerous times throughout your life when you experience the reactions mentioned earlier and these can be appropriate and expectable.

It's not about closure

Closure is for business deals and bank accounts. It is not for major loss, where the heart and mind typically reflect the notion of forgetting our loved one and seek ultimately to learn how to live with our loss and adjust our lives accordingly in the absence of the person who is gone, but remembered. This does not mean that you would have chosen this loss or that you had been unmoved by it, only that you no longer have to fight it. You take it in the sense of learning to live with it as an inescapable fact of your life. Like many mourners, you can determine to make something good come out of your loss. This is another way to make a positive meaning out of what had been a negative event.

• Look for specific ways in which you can transcend this event. In other words, work to make something good happen out of it.
• Ultimately, healthfully integrate this loss and its effects upon you into your life story, but make it one chapter—perhaps the biggest and most profound—and not the whole book, as it can be when it initially happens.

About the author

Dr. Rando is a clinical psychologist in Warwick, Rhode Island, and the clinical director of The Institute for the Study and Treatment of Loss, which provides mental health services through psychotherapy, training, supervision and consultation. Since 1970 she has consulted, conducted research, provided therapy, written and lectured internationally in areas related to loss, grief, illness, dying and trauma.

Dr. Rando holds a doctoral degree in psychology from the University of Rhode Island and has received advanced training in psychotherapy and in medical consultation-liaison psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University Medical School and University Hospitals of Cleveland. Dr. Rando has published 70 works pertaining to the clinical aspects of thanatology and serves on the Editorial Boards of Death Studies and Omega.

Dr. Rando has been the recipient of many awards for her contributions to the field of thanatology and has appeared on numerous television programs, such as “Dateline,” CBS “This Morning,” “Today Show,” “Good Morning, America,” “CNN & Time,” CNBC “Upfront Tonight” and “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” She has provided commentary for The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, USA Today, Newsweek and U.S. News and World Report, among many others.

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What Happens After Death? Understanding Where Your Soul Goes

The present state is where you are now. You exist in this present state. From the moment of conception, you became a human being, that is, a “soul.” Your soul is eternal. Scripture teaches us that we exist from conception until death, from death until the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and the General Resurrection from the dead, and then, the New Heavens and the New Earth. This article will seek to answer what happens at death to both your body and soul. 

What Happens After Death?

It is important to admit that the word “soul” is not merely a disembodied entity. In the Bible, “soul” is who you are. Consider Genesis:

God “breathed the breath of life” into Adam, and he became a “living soul” ( Genesis 2:7 ; the New Revised Standard uses the word, “being”). Thus, in the biblical view, Adam does not have a soul; Adam is a soul (i.e., a person, a living being). The soul is, literally, “. . . that which breathes, the breathing substance or being. [1] In his article “Soul,” G.W. Moon says “In Christian theology the soul carries the further connotation of being that part of the individual that partakes of divinity and survives the death of the body.”

Augustine and Thomas Aquinas rejected Platonic dualism, which saw the soul as good and the body as corrupt. These two theological giants, separated by centuries, agreed the Bible teaches that the spirit is the eternal person, but will one day have an eternal body:

“According to Saint Thomas Aquinas, who follows Aristotle in his definition of the human soul, the soul is an individual spiritual substance, the ‘form’ of the body. Both, body and soul together, constitute the human unity, though the soul may be severed from the body and lead a separate existence, as happens after death. The separation, however, is not final, as the soul, in this differing from the angels, was made for the body. [2]

The Psalmist spoke of our soul as the very inmost being of our person: “Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name” ( Psalm 103:1 NIV).

Jesus spoke of the inestimable value of the human soul (and simultaneously taught that soul and body will be reunited for either eternal life with or, in that case, without God):

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” ( Matthew 10:28 NIV).

Your body and soul, like all of Creation, are marred by the Fall and its consequences. Or, as John Milton titled the situation in his epic poem, Paradise Lost.  The fallen soul must be redeemed. This is the plan of God, the Covenant of Grace, that constitutes the single scarlet thread that binds the entire Bible together.

Therefore, we must admit:

Your Body and Soul Need Redeeming From the Fall

David wrote in Psalm 19 about the wonder of God’s world, His creation. But in verse seven David makes a turn. The “general revelation” gives evidence of Almighty God, but “special revelation,” God’s Word, is necessary to do this one thing: “revive” the human soul. Psalm 19:17 says “The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul” ( KJV ).

Indeed, we are to be born again, the soul undergoing a supernatural transition, making it “fit” for heaven. Our souls are “lost” without redemption.

The Bible teaches that there is no other redemption available except that “way” that Almighty God has provided through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ: “And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved” ( Acts 4:12 ESV).

Jesus Christ is the Redeemer According to the Covenant of Grace

When the Gospel is proclaimed and received by faith, the terms of the Covenant are imputed to you (the terms are expressed in “a great exchange:” the repentant and believing sinner receives Christ’s righteousness and His atoning sacrifice on the Cross; Christ received the sinner’s sin and punishment for sin). You pass from death and judgment to forgiveness and eternal life. “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment but has passed from death to life” ( John 5:24 ESV).Not so the unrepentant. The soul remains in a fallen state, responsible for the terms of the Covenant of Works (the soul that sins must die). It is for this reason that the Psalmist, speaking in the voice of the Messiah to come, declares that God will not leave his soul to perish. This truth is also picked up by Peter in his first sermon at Pentecost. The soul without God will undergo unimaginable loss that is described by Jesus with the most severe imagery (e.g., Matthew 25:46 : “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”).

My dear reader: your soul and mine must be redeemed from the auction block of sin and the devil lest we — that is, our souls — face certain loss and punishment. And the only Redeemer of God’s elect is the Lord Jesus Christ. Repent. Trust in the resurrected and living Christ while you are still reading this article. Stop what you are doing and turn to Jesus Christ by faith.

Our study leads us, then, to the place of the soul between death and the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

When we say, “the intermediate state ,” we are not speaking of “limbo” or “purgatory” or any such thing. We are speaking of that period in which the soul is in heaven and our remains await resurrection. That is the “intermediate state” in our personal eschatology.

Where Do Bodies Go After Death?

The redeemed are ushered into the eternal presence of the Lord, and those without an advocate (righteousness to meet God’s Law and sacrifice to atone for sin) are ushered into hell to await the New Heaven and New Earth.

The Bible teaches that the human spirit, upon departing the body, goes immediately into the presence of God for either His welcoming or His disapproval. Thus, our blessed Savior taught this truth when He gave the parable of the wicked in Hell crying out to Abraham for refreshment:

“There was a rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus , covered with sores, who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man’s table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores. The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried, and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’ But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish ( Luke 16:19-25 ESV).

There is no more concise and thoroughly Biblical expression of faith about the soul going immediately to be with God until the resurrection than the 38 th question in the Westminster Shorter Catechism:

Q. 38. What benefits do believers receive from Christ at the resurrection? A. At the resurrection, believers being raised up in glory ( 1 Cor. 15:42-43 ), shall be openly acknowledged and acquitted in the day of judgment ( Matt 25:33-34 ), and made perfectly blessed in the full enjoying of God ( Rom. 8:29 , 1 John 3:2 ) to all eternity ( Ps. 16:11 , 1 John 3:2 ).

At death, the body returns to the elements: “dust to dust . . .” But the soul resurrects with a new heavenly body. 

At the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, the General Resurrection commences. The redeemed bodies are renewed with the eternal soul and rise to meet Jesus Christ, joining Him in the air, taking their place with the glorious company of angels, archangels, prophets, apostles, martyrs and the whole company of heaven. The Great White Throne Judgement has been the subject of classical Christian teaching throughout Church history: “And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them” ( Revelation 20:11 ).

The unregenerate bodies are also resurrected. United with soul, each appears before the Great Final Judgment. Without the Advocate, our Lord Jesus Christ, these suffer the righteous sentence of God for unbelief. The redeemed also appear before the Lord. But Jesus Christ is their Advocate. His perfect life is accounted to theirs to meet the Divine requirement of perfect obedience (Christ fulfills the Covenant of Works). The Lord Jesus’ atoning death on Calvary’s Cross provides the blood sacrifice of the only Son of God applied to their lives. The punishment of their sins has been placed upon the Second Person of the One true and holy God.

The redeemed are fully acquitted, by God in Christ, their Savior. The unredeemed are cast into eternal hell with the devil and his angels (demons). Walter A. Elwell and Barry J. Beitzel summarized it in their article “Eschatology” with brilliant concision and brevity:

“All who have died will come to life. This will be a bodily resurrection, a resumption of bodily existence of each person. For believers this will take place in connection with the second coming of Christ and will involve the transformation of the body of this present flesh into a new, perfected body ( 1 Cor 15:35-56 ). The Bible also indicates a resurrection of unbelievers, unto eternal death ( Jn 5:28 , 29).

The great Dutch commentator, William Hendriksen, wrote with unsurpassed theological and Scriptural fidelity as he described this event in his book “ More Than Conquerors: An Interpretation of the Book of Revelation ”:

“Christ’s coming in judgment is vividly described. John sees a great white throne. Upon it is seated the Christ ( Matt. 25:31 ; Rev. 14:14 ). From His face the earth and the heaven flee away. Not the destruction or annihilation but the renovation of the universe is indicated here. It will be a dissolution of the elements with great heat ( 2 Pet. 3:10 ); a regeneration (Mt. 19:28); a restoration of all things ( Acts 3:21 ); and a deliverance from the bondage of corruption ( Rom. 8:21 ). No longer will this universe be subject to ‘vanity’. John sees the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne. All individuals who have ever lived on earth are seen before the throne. The books are opened and the records of the life of every person consulted (Dn. 7:10). Also, the book of life, containing the names of all believers is opened ( Rev. 3:5 ; 13:8). The dead are judged in accordance with their works (Mt. 25:31 ff.; Rom. 14:10 ; 2 Cor. 5:10 ). The sea gives up its dead; so do Death and Hades. Here is the one, general resurrection of all the dead. The entire Bible teaches but one, general resurrection (read Jn. 5:28 f.). This one and only and general resurrection takes place at the last day ( Jn. 6:39 f., 44, 54).”

Even After Death - The New Heaven and the New Earth

The universe, earth, and all things are both burned and then renewed as the New Heavens and the New Earth is unveiled. While the souls (and bodies reunited) of the unrepentant are cast into eternal hell, believers are welcomed into the New Heaven and New Earth. One of the most remarkable passages among so many equally astounding passages is found in St. Paul’s first epistle to the Church at Corinth. In Chapter 15, the inspired Apostle makes the resurrection the centering point for “eternity past” and “eternity future.” Paul seeks to give words to what he sees at the farthest reaches of the future state: “When all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to him who put all things in subjection under him, that God may be all in all” ( 1 Corinthians 15:28 ).

Thus, the human soul. From the breath of life at conception to the inscrutable event in ages to come when, body and soul, we witness the climactic fulfillment of the ancient Covenant, this is the soul of a believer. The soul without Christ is in peril. The soul of any who calls upon the name of the Lord to be saved will be gloriously transformed.

Answering “What happens to my soul when I die?”

As a pastor and a teaching theologian, this is one of the most frequent questions I receive. However, the inquiry most often comes to me, not in the form of an abstract question, but in the context of crisis. Indeed, this is how the question was posed by Mrs. Henley: in a defining moment of her faith on trial.

I was a young pastor. I was on assignment as a pastoral care intern for a congregation not my own. I was a pastor “on loan,” one might say. My mission? I was dispatched by the church leadership to provide pastoral ministry to a family I didn’t know. I was told that the Henley family was gathered at a nearby nursing home and that they had requested a pastoral presence. The elder who telephoned me gave instructions that I would find Mr. Henley, a long-time member, in room 201. Mrs. Gladys Henley, his wife of sixty-some-odd years would be there to greet me. Mr. Henley’s forty-something-year-old son and his wife would also be there. They had flown in from the West Coast to be with the matriarch and patriarch in this difficult time.

I rehearsed the coming pastoral visit in my mind as I pulled into the covered parking garage. I guided my trusty old Buick sedan into that most appreciated of privileges — clergy parking. I put her in park. I killed the engine. I drew in a breath of hope as I exhaled a prayer for help: “Lord, guide me.”

Before departing for the brief stroll to the nursing home, I opened my Bible. I needed a passage that would serve as my “pastoral prescription” for the spiritual cure to the anticipated spiritual condition of this family. I keep a list of familiar Bible chapters and verses for hospital visits. The passages are arranged, in smeared fountain ink from my own hand, according to spiritual cure of common conditions — aging, bereavement, conflict, and so forth. I came to “vigil.” The family vigil is the gathering of family members (and close friends) in anticipation of a loved one’s passing. My eyes found the words of Luke’s Acts of the Apostles and Saint Peter’s quotation of 

Psalm 16:10 , “For you will not abandon my soul to Hades or let your Holy One see corruption. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will make me full of gladness with your presence” ( Acts 2:27 , 28 ESV).

The family greeted me at the lobby of this elegant elderly care facility. Formal introductions in hushed tones formed the introduction to the family. The Henley son, Robert, Jr., asked me to follow them to Mr. Henley’s room. Mr. Robert Henley, Sr., Esq., was nearly 100 years old. The wise old jurist was a long-time follower of Jesus Christ. Others recognized his gift of gentle leadership and patient wisdom. He was a well-beloved elder, a lay officer, in his home church. Robert Henley had been a prominent attorney in the community where I served. The phrase “city father” comes to mind. Mr. Henley was known as a godly, devoted family man, who also gave much of his life, and not a small amount of his fortune, to the service and needs of his neighbors.

He never had political aspirations. However, if you were a politician and wanted to increase your chances of election, you likely would pay a visit to Robert Henley before you even filed as a candidate. I guess one could say that Mr. Henley had gravitas. He was a big man, a great man, and a faithful man. His immediate family—Mrs. Henley and her adult son, Robert, Jr., and his wife, Katherine—were gathered in a family vigil. For, by then, Mr. Henley was a dying man.

It would be a familiar scene in my ministry for years to come. A grieving family gathered around a weakened figure. Prayers, hymns, silence, and memories converge to form a needed blanket of peace for the one about to depart if not more so for those remaining. Being with a family at such a tender time remains one of the greatest honors of my life. Ask any pastor. He will tell you the same.

I had been in Mr. Henley’s room at the nursing home — for all intents and purposes, it was a hospital room — for more than two hours. The family had been there much longer. I was thinking about the man before me, the man I didn’t know, but the man I was called to prepare for a journey home. My contemplations were pleasantly interrupted when a cheerful nurse came in to check for vital signs of her patient. As she finished her monitoring, she looked at Mrs. Henley and smiled. The kind woman leaned over and put her arm around Mrs. Henley and spoke softly: “Hon, why don’t you go to our café and get you some coffee and a sandwich? They have got some good sandwiches! And you sure need a break.” I certainly agreed. Poor Mrs. Henley looked so tired. The nurse encouraged Mrs. Henley with another whisper, as she helped her up, “Come on, now, Mrs. Henley. There we go . . .”

Reluctantly, Mrs. Henley agreed and stood erect in the room. Her son, Robert, Jr., and Katherine, his wife, the younger Mrs. Henley — a demure but smartly-dressed young lady with a pretty and seemingly permanent smile — guided the weakening wife away. I listened to the echoes of their steps in the hall. I heard the elevator ring its arrival. Then a sacred stillness seemed to descend on the scene like someone’s mother casting a cotton sheet on a bed in slow motion. Still. Slow. Silent. Holy.

I was alone in the hospital room with Mr. Henley. The various medical mechanisms mimicked the beating of his heart, inhaling, and exhaling of his lungs. I listened to the rhythmic beep-beep of a monitor, and the oscillating hiss of oxygen. I had taken a seat when the family had walked out. Yet, at that moment, I felt led to stand. I also felt led to speak, “Mr. Henley, I am not sure if you can hear me, Sir. Mr. Henley, I have a Scripture for you from God’s Word. It is a very simple and powerful truth. I am certain that you know it.” 

The blips, beeps, and hisses were unimpressed by my announcement. The background noises continued as a kind of technological witness. “Mr. Henley, this is the Word of the Lord: ‘We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord’ ( 2 Corinthians 5:8 KJV). Did you hear that Mr. Henley? Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you. And if He comes for you, your spirit — the real you! — will be with Jesus. The One you have loved throughout all of the days of your life will receive you.” He moved not. However, I was not deterred. I was convicted by early experience in my internship to read Scripture even if a patient was in a coma. I would follow for over three decades, occasionally with memorable results. This was one of them.  

I began to pray the Lord’s Prayer audibly: “Our Father . . .” Suddenly, and quite astonishingly, Mr. Henley’s lips began trying to move. I drew closer, still praying, “who art in heaven . . .” The old saint was seeking to pray with me. I continued. “Hallowed be Thy Name . . .” This dear man of God was giving the last measure of strength to do what he had done for nearly five thousand Sundays. He began to worship  God. It was as if the words to the Lord’s Prayer sparked an autonomic response of the soul. He opened his dry, cracking lips for just long enough to pray with me. He uttered the next phrase as if waiting to catch up with me. “Thy Kingdom come; Thy will be done . . .” As I continued, more confident in my own faith because of his, his voice went silent. The small motion of his lips ceased in mid-sentence. And as suddenly as he had begun, he stopped praying. Mr. Henley had stopped breathing. At just about “Thy Kingdom come . . .” Mr. Henley’s prayer was answered. Mr. Henley was in the presence of the Lord.

I stood without movement. I was transfixed by the sight. There was even a kind of beauty, though I was holding the hand of a dead man. I thought of the Psalmist’s words, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints” ( Psalm 116:15 KJV). My fixed gaze of wonder was interrupted by the necessary practicality of nurses, residents, and orderlies hastening to the scene. In witnessing this miracle of the migration of the human soul, I didn't even notice the alarms. The mechanical sentries had sounded their call. The compassionate health care professionals answered in a second. But as I watched them, the scene was less of an emergency and more of, well, more of a tender moment of confirming what all were anticipating.

Soon enough, the family returned. Robert Jr. and Katherine both put their arms around Mrs. Henley. It was a holy moment. Soft sobs replaced the electronic sounds of the medical machinery. I knew the power of the ministry of presence as Mrs. Henley moved from her son to look at me. This new widow needed the promises of God, the assurance of the love of God, and the hope of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For this reason, I was there. I embraced her — perhaps, better put, she embraced me — and she wept, ever so softly. This elderly woman of God, smaller than I, nestled her gray head on my chest. I was being inaugurated into the ministry by Mrs. Henley.

And then it happened. Right after I spoke these words, it happened: “Mrs. Henley, the Bible says that your dear husband is in the presence of our Lord Jesus at this very second. He passed from this life into the loving arms of Jesus. I was with him as his soul departed this room. He is more alive than ever.”

She confirmed my words by nodding her head as I held her. But something happened that I will never forget. The still, quiet sobs were broken by a rather stern word from her son. “Mother, I am sorry, but that is not right. Daddy is not here. And Daddy is not anywhere else. He is, well, for all practical purposes, just asleep.” He spoke the words for his mother, but he aimed his arrows at me. I was stunned, not by the theological error as much as the inappropriateness and even callousness of his words. “Mother, come out here and let me talk to you.” Mrs. Henley followed obediently. Scolded as her husband had died, she had, in the opinion of her son, succumbed to “nonsense.” She followed obediently. What else could she do? I stood motionless as both the family departed, and the medical professionals began procedures for removal of the body.

It could not have been more than about three minutes when Mrs. Henley returned. By this time, her late husband’s remains had been removed from the room. I extended my hands to welcome Mrs. Henley back. She took my hands without ever moving her eyes from mine. I smiled as if, perhaps, a warm gesture could erase the recent unpleasant words. Mrs. Henley broke down in heaving tears. I could barely hear her words: “Oh Pastor, my son says that my husband’s soul is just asleep! He is not with the Lord! Oh Pastor, everything I have ever known, ever believed, must be wrong!” I held Mrs. Henley and felt the deep grief rising through her sobs. “He is gone, Pastor. But where? Where is my husband?

I shared that intimate story with you because I believe that it illustrates the deep emotions that are involved with the question, “What happens to the soul at the time of death?” The question is not an esoteric inquiry into the unknowable. God has revealed to us in his word what happens to the human soul at the moment of death. In order to understand the answer to this question according to the Scriptures, we would do well to employ a systematic theological study  of the Christian faith concerning the question of the soul. To do so, let us arrange the biblical material according to the Bible’s explanation about the soul and the soul’s destiny. We will see that there is a present state, an intermediate state, and a final state . Theologians call this a personal eschatology. Eschatology speaks about the last things. We often think of eschatology in more cosmic terms, for example, what happens to the heavens and the earth in the future. That is a cosmic eschatology. But a personal eschatology is concerned with what happens to you. So let us begin.

As I opened my Bible and asked his grieving widow to read the Scriptures, she wiped her eyes, sought to compose herself, and adjusted her 1960s-framed-spectacle before leaning in to read: “We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord” ( 2 Corinthians 5:8 KJV). Mrs. Henley looked up again, her silver-haired, intelligent head raising, her eyes meeting mine. “Pastor, I read that according to the Bible my Robert — my husband, Mr. Henley — is with the Lord. As soon as his spirit left his body he went to be with Jesus. That is what I had always been taught. But my son . . . Oh, pastor, is this the truth?”

I put my right hand on her shoulder seeking to agree. “Yes, Mrs. Henley. I watched as the soul of your husband departed his body. According to the Word of the Lord, there is no doubt that he is in the presence of the Lord Jesus.” I gently placed my left hand to a shoulder, now looking at her intently, holding her shoulders, directing my gaze with the strongest possible position of attention: “My beloved Mrs. Henley,” I paused to prepare for an unequivocal declaration to this grieving woman: “Ma’am: According to the promises of our Lord Jesus Christ I say to you that in the name of God, you will  see your husband again.”  And she rested in the promises of God.

But have you? I say to anyone reading: God created you as a person: soul and body.  The soul lives forever in one of two places: with your Creator or without Him. The adjudication of your eternal life rests with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. And He welcomes any and all who will turn from all other persons and plans and turn unto Him. For Jesus our Lord says, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Rest from the frantic search for answers. Trust in Christ Jesus the resurrected and living Lord of life. His Covenant of Grace — Christ’s righteousness accounted for what you lack, and Christ’s sacrifice applied for your sins — has secured your destiny. And you will never walk alone.

God’s promises are your destiny: when you die, your soul goes immediately to the Lord. Your earthly remains are precious to God. “If the farmer knows where the corn is in the barn, then our Father knows where His precious seed is in the earth.” And in Christ, God will raise those remains to eternal life. If you have received Jesus Christ as Lord, you will be acquitted of all sins by the righteousness and the sacrifice on the cross by your Savior. And safe in the arms of Jesus. Why not pray with me?

Lord, our Heavenly Father: I am in awe of Your mighty creative power demonstrated not only in the wonder of the stars above or in the microscopic invisible world, but, especially, in the coming of Your Son Jesus our Lord; and in Him, in His perfect life lived for me and His sacrificial death offered for me on the cross, I do repent — turn away from — my sin of unbelief, self-sufficiency, and trusting in anyone and thing other than Your Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth; I know that I am a soul and body, and I ask that You transform my soul according to Your promises and Your power; I ask that you forgive me and receive me as Your child; and I believe that when I depart from this life I will go immediately to You, O dear Lord; So, take me and use me for Your glory. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

[1] Richard Whitaker, Francis Brown, et al., The Abridged Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew-English Lexicon of the Old Testament: From A Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament by Francis Brown, S.R. Driver and Charles Briggs, Based on the Lexicon of Wilhelm Gesenius (Boston; New York: Houghton, Mifflin and Company, 1906).

[2] F. L. Cross and Elizabeth A. Livingstone, eds., The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church (Oxford;  New York: Oxford University Press, 2005), 1531.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/ipopba

Life After Death In Islam: The Concept And The 14 Stages Of Afterlife

Akhirah is the term for life after death in Islam . It is believed that Allah decides when an individual dies, and the deceased remain in grave until the Day of Judgement or Yawm al-din, which is the last day when Allah judges them according to the way they lived. That day, the person is lifted from the grave and is brought before Allah to be judged for their deeds. This belief is called the resurrection of the body.

In Islamic tradition, death is the separation of the soul from one’s body and the beginning of one afterlife. There are various elaborate discussions about the process and the schools of thought (three traditional schools in Islam) have different conclusions about it. The basic source that Muslims have is the Quran and the Islamic narratives. The Quran says: “Nor can a soul die except by Allah’s leave. The term being fixed as by writing.” Quran 3:145

People who perform several good deeds in the course of their life enter Jannah (Paradise). There is no pain, sickness or sadness in this place, whereas those who perform bad deeds in their life enter Jahannam (Hell). This is the place where the person endures physical and spiritual suffering. But, Muslims believe that not all bad actions or decisions are punishable as Allah is forgiving and compassionate. He will forgive those who regret their actions and have performed certain good deeds in their lifetime.

The Quran says: “Of the good that they do nothing will be rejected of them; for Allah knoweth well those that do right. Those who reject faith – neither their possessions nor their (numerous) progeny will avail them aught against Allah; they will be companions of the fire, dwelling therein forever.” Quran 3:115- 1:116

Stages Of Life After Death In Islam

As per Islam, after one is buried or eaten by animal the life after death begins. There are fourteen stages of life after death in Islam. It consists of stages like Barzakh, Qiyama, Resurrection, Reckoning, declaration of hell or heaven and several others in between. To give a more descriptive explanation of each stage; here are the 14 stages of life after death.

In Islam, it is believed that when a person dies, the soul enters the state of waiting, also known as Barzakh, until the Day of Judgement. This is the transition period between the world and the afterlife. It is a barrier or curtain between our world and the world of the dead. Even if the person’s body is burnt to ashes or is eaten by an animal, their life in Barzakh begins.

2. Blowing of the Trumpet

To start the apocalypse, Soor or the trumpet is blown by the angel Hazrat Israfel. He blows the instrument twice and resurrects the people to take them to the gathering place.

3. Apocalypse or Qiyama

This is the rise of the dead person and his or her walk towards the gathering place. In one of the Quranic verses, Allah talks about qiyama, “O mankind! fear your Lord! For the convulsion of the Hour (of Judgment) will be a thing terrible! The Day ye shall see it, every mother giving suck shall forget her suckling-babe, and every pregnant female shall drop her load (unformed): thou shalt see mankind as in a drunken riot, yet not drunk: but dreadful will be the Wrath of Allah.” (Al-Hajj, 1-2.)

4. Resurrection after death

According to the Quran, it is said that the resurrection takes place in various ways. In this stage, the dead people are lifted from their graves and are brought before Allah to be judged for their deeds. Also, the concept of resurrection after death is both bodily as well as spiritual and is not just possible but very easy for Allah.

5. Gathering Place

The next stage is gathering, where all the resurrected souls are gathered. The place where they are brought together is called the gathering place. They wait there to receive the Book of Deeds. This stage is mentioned in the Quran as well as the hadiths.

6. Receiving the Book of Deeds

In this stage, the souls are gathered together to receive the Book of Deeds. This book has records of their good and bad deeds and the exact form of the record is not known as it has not been mentioned anywhere explicitly. At this stage the resurrected souls can revisit the deeds of their lifetime.

7. Reckoning

After they receive the book, they are judged equally and according to their deeds. They are asked questions about their life based on which the judgement is made. Regarding this stage, the Quran says: “That Day will every soul be requited for what it earned; no injustice will there be that Day, for Allah is Swift in taking account”. (al-Mumin, 17.)

8. Scale or Mizan

This is the stage where the weight of the deeds is measured. If a person’s good deeds have more weight than the bad ones, then they get salvation, and if good deeds are lighter than bad deeds, they suffer punishment. It is also said that believers who go to Hell can also be sent to paradise after completing their punishment.

9. River and Pool of Kawthar

This is the pool in which the water of the river of Paradise flows. The water gathers in this pool on the Day of Judgement, and when the resurrected men are gathered, Prophet Hazrat Muhammad is given the pool of Kawthar. It is believed that whoever reaches the pool first will be made Prophet.

This is the bridge across hell and everyone is meant to cross it. It stretches across hell to paradise and is constructed according to a person’s good and bad deeds. It is believed that various souls cross this bridge at different speeds.

11. Intercession

In this stage, the people who have committed certain sins ask the scholars and prophets to beg Allah for forgiveness, and those who do not have any sin ask to be raised to a higher level.

12. Purgatory

Also known as Araf, this is the place separating paradise and hell. Allah decides as to who gets to enter paradise and hell.

This is the place where the person with the worst deeds enters and is tortured and punished for their sins. It known as Jahannam in Islam and sinful souls are punished in different ways. However, the most commonly spoken form of punishment in Jahannam is that of burning in fire.

Suggested Read: Seven Levels of Jahannam, Also Known As The Gates Of Hell In Islam

14. Paradise

This is the place where the person with the good deeds enters and lives a comfortable life for eternity. In this place, there is no sadness, pain, excessive heat or cold. Paradise or jannah in Islam has different levels. According to the Quran, there are seven levels of heaven in Islam .

40 Days After Death In Islam

In Islam, when a person dies, the family and friends get together after seven days to hold a memorial of prayers and do charity and donations in the memory of the deceased. The same takes place after 40 days and one year of the person’s passing. They recite Quran, do charity and perform as many good deeds in the memory of the deceased as possible. Imams (leader of an Islamic worship service) suggest that after death when a person’s soul gets separated from the body, the soul lives on and visits the loved ones on the seventh and the 40th day after death. The soul also visits them after one year of passing.

Life after death in Islam

According to many Muslims, after a person dies, their soul is taken by the angel of death, Azrael. Then, two angels – Munkar and Nakir come to the grave and ask questions about the way they led their life. After the person’s death, all that is left of them is their heritable property. Muslims consider only those relatives for inheritance who are related to the deceased through a male, which include son’s son, son’s daughter and father’s mother. The heirs have a common share in the property.

Hadith on 3 deeds that continue after death

As per a hadith there are one of the 3 deeds that continue after death:

“When a human being dies all his action comes to an end except in one of three ways: A continuing act of charity, a useful contribution to knowledge and a dutiful child who prays for him.”

– Abu Dawood, Muslim, Al-Nassaie and several others

Mourning in Quran

“And those of you who die and leave widows behind, they should keep themselves in waiting for four months and ten days. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you about what they do with themselves in accordance with the norms [of society]. And Allah is well acquainted with what you do. And there is also no blame on you if you tacitly send a marriage proposal to these women or hold it in your hearts. Allah knows that you would definitely talk to them. [Do so] but do not make a secret contract. Of course you can say something in accordance with the norms [of the society]. And do not decide to marry until the law reaches its term. And know that Allah has knowledge of what is in your hearts; so be fearful of Him and know that Allah is Most forgiving and Most Forbearing.”

— Quran 2:234–235

Concept of rebirth in Islam

Though most of the schools in Islam does not promote the idea of rebirth, there are some surah and hadiths testifying rebirth in Islam.

“Allah has given you life. Then it will take your life there. Then he will give you life again.” – Quran Majeed, Surah Al Bakra 2 verse 28

“The way Allah has created the creation (Khilkit) in the past, he will repeat it again.” – Surah-Ar-Rum 30-11

Purpose of life in Islam

The sole purpose of a human in Islam is to pray Allah and lead on to the path shown by Him. Further, the materialistic world and challenges presented by it, is only an exam to decide how the afterlife of that human will look like. Depending upon the deeds done on earth, an individual will reside in Heaven or Hell.

Islamic quotes about life and death

• “When carried to his grave, a dead person is followed by three, two of which return (after his burial) & one remains with him: his relative, his property, & his deeds follow him; relatives & his property go back while his deeds remain with him.” (Bukhari Vol. 8 : No. 521)
• “Indeed, to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He gives life and causes death. And you have not besides Allah any protector or any helper.” (Surah Taubah verse 116)
• “Do not kill the soul which Allah has made sacred except by right of justice. Whoever is killed unjustly, We have given his heir authority, but let him not exceed the limits in taking life.” Surat Al-Isra verse33

Life after death in Islam is an important and elaborate concept that intrigues Muslims around the world. There are many questions asked and the answers are sought from the most reliable sources of Islamic traditions – the holy Quran and the hadiths of the Prophet. With these two guiding lights, the path to afterlife seems clearer and certain.

Life After Death In Islam FAQs

Why do muslims believe in the afterlife.

It is said that a Muslim believing in the afterlife is one of the six articles of faith in Islam (also known as arkan al-Iman). Muslims believe that Allah is the judge of their lives and as they are on this earth for a very short time, they should prepare themselves for life after death. Muslims see their life as a test and try their best to perform as many good deeds as possible. They wish to enter Jannah and fulfil their Islamic obligations.

How does Quran describe Heaven?

In the Quran, Heaven is described as a home of peace and a garden of everlasting bliss.

Who is Angel Azrael?

When a person dies, his or her soul is taken by the Angel of Death, Azrael. He transports the souls of the dead people.

How long is the mourning period in Islam?

In Islam, the Muslims observe a three-day mourning period. They receive visitors and their condolences, pray and avoid any decorative jewellery or clothing.

What are the questions that are asked in the grave?

The two angels, Munkar and Nakir, ask the deceased soul - What is your religion? Who is your Lord? and What is your faith about Prophet Muhammad?

what happens to soul after 40 days in Islam?

The soul of the deceased visit the family members on the seventh and 40th day after death.

Dr Omar Ayoub

Dr. Omar Ayoub is a tech enthusiast and a part time researcher and accounts authorship of several international publications. He holds a PhD in Computer Science from USA and has an experience of more than 10 years in Saudi Arabia working in tourism, hospitality, education, technology and retail sector. His interests include traveling, writing, and exploring trending technologies.

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• Yoga & Meditation
• Bhagavadgita & Hinduism
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Commentary on the Bhagavadgita by Swami Krishnananda

Links for this book.

Table of Contents

• List of Abbreviations
• The Colophon of the Bhagavadgita
• The First Chapter: Visada Yoga, The Yoga of the Dejection of the Spirit
• The Second Chapter Begins: Sankhya Yoga, The Distinction between Purusha and Prakriti
• The Second Chapter Continues: How to Live in the World
• The Second Chapter Concludes: The Establishment of the Soul in Universality
• The Third Chapter Begins: The Relation Between Sankhya and Yoga
• The Third Chapter Concludes: The Knower of Reality
• The Fourth Chapter Begins: The Avataras of God
• The Fourth Chapter Continues: The Performance of Action as a Sacrifice
• The Fourth Chapter Concludes: Methods of Worship and of Self-Control
• The Fifth Chapter Begins: Knowledge and Action are One
• The Fifth Chapter Continues: The Characteristics of a Perfected Person
• The Fifth Chapter Concludes: The Characteristics of the Sage Who is Established in Brahman
• The Sixth Chapter Begins: The Characteristics of a Sannyasi and a Yogi
• The Sixth Chapter Continues: Requirements for the Practice of Meditation
• The Sixth Chapter Continues: Meditation on the Ishta Devata
• The Sixth Chapter Concludes: God's Great Promise to Us
• A Summary of the First Six Chapters
• The Seventh Chapter Begins: Transcending the Sankhya
• The Seventh Chapter Continues: The Glory of God and His Creation
• The Seventh Chapter Continues: The Gospel of Universal Religion
• The Seventh Chapter Concludes: Worshipping Deities
• The Eighth Chapter Begins: The Different Facets of the Supreme Being
• The Eighth Chapter Continues: The Thought at the Time of Death
• The Eighth Chapter Continues: Types of Liberation
• The Eighth Chapter Concludes: The Journey of the Soul After Death
• The Ninth Chapter Begins: The Kingly Knowledge and the Greatness of God
• The Ninth Chapter Concludes: Undivided Devotion to God
• A Summary of the First Nine Chapters
• The Tenth Chapter Begins: The Glories of God
• The Tenth Chapter Concludes: God's Special Manifestations
• The Eleventh Chapter Begins: Introduction to the Visvarupa Darshana
• The Eleventh Chapter Continues: The Visvarupa Darshana
• The Eleventh Chapter Continues: The Visvarupa Darshana Continues
• The Eleventh Chapter Concludes: Whole-souled Devotion to God
• The Twelfth Chapter Begins: The Best of Yogins
• The Twelfth Chapter Concludes: The Supreme Devotee of God
• The Thirteenth Chapter Begins: Consciousness and Matter
• The Thirteenth Chapter Continues: The Field and the Knower of the Field
• The Thirteenth Chapter Concludes: Understanding Purusha and Prakriti
• The Fourteenth Chapter: Rising Above the Three Gunas
• The Fifteenth Chapter Begins: The World as an Inverted Tree
• The Fifteenth Chapter Concludes: The Greatest Secret Revealed
• The Sixteenth Chapter Begins: Divine and Undivine Qualities
• The Sixteenth Chapter Concludes: What is Proper and What is Improper in Our Life
• The Seventeenth Chapter Begins: The Threefold Character of Faith
• The Seventeenth Chapter Concludes: The Meaning of Om Tat Sat
• The Eighteenth Chapter Begins: Renunciation, and Types of Action
• The Eighteenth Chapter Continues: Types of Understanding, Determination and Happiness
• The Eighteenth Chapter Continues: Knowing One's Duty
• The Eighteenth Chapter Concludes: The Bhagavadgita Concludes
• Appendix: Sri Krishna—The Guru of All Gurus

Discourse 26: The Eighth Chapter Concludes – The Journey of the Soul After Death

The Eighth Chapter of the Bhagavadgita deals with the subject of life after death. The Puranas, the Upanishads, the Yoga Vasishtha and the Bhagavadgita contain many varieties of descriptions of the condition of the soul after it leaves this body. The Puranas, especially, go into a detailed, lurid description of the condition in which the soul finds itself—particularly if it has not done any merit, or if the merit it has done is so negligible that the wrongs it has committed outweigh the good or are on an equal footing with it.

The stories in the Garuda Purana and such other scriptures, even in the Bhagavata, are really frightening. When the soul departs from the body in the case of these lower, unpurified and negligibly religious souls, it is taken away by the messengers of Yama and placed before the Lord of Death for judgment.

It is said that Yama asks the soul, “What have you done?”

Ordinarily, it cannot remember anything. It will say, “I don't know.”

The shock of separation from the body removes all memory, and it cannot remember what it has done in the previous life. It is said that then a hot rod, called a yamadanda, is kept on its head, and immediately it remembers its entire past. It knows every detail of the actions that it did, both good and bad.

The soul says, “I have done a little good, but have also made many mistakes and performed so many erroneous actions.”

Yama asks, “What do you have to say about it now?”

The soul replies, “I have got relatives. They will expiate them for me. They will conduct yajnas , charities, worship, sankirtans , bhajans and meditations in my name, and I shall be free from the consequence of the sins that I have committed or the mistakes that I have made.”

“Go then!” says Yama, “And see what they do.”

Apparently, it takes ten days for the soul to be brought back, so some ceremony is usually done on the tenth, eleventh, twelfth and thirteenth days. The soul hovers around, observing what the relatives are doing, and Yama's messengers stand behind like policemen to see what is done. If an expiatory ceremony is done in the name of the soul, such as the Bhagavata Saptaham, the Rudra Yaga, the Narayana Bali and the Vishnu Yajna, and varieties of charities are done, and all those things that were dear to the soul are also given in gift, the effect of these good deeds is credited to the account of the soul and it is exonerated to that extent.

But suppose this is not done and, like modern boys, the relatives do not believe in these observances: “If our father died, let it go, that's all. We won't bother about it,” and there is no charity, no goodwill, and they behave as if nothing has happened; or, they do not even believe that something happens after death because they think that there is no life after death. If that is the case, the soul is dragged back. When the policemen know that someone is a culprit, and it is confirmed, they deal with him very severely. If they know that he is going to be released and nothing is going to happen to him, they do not bother much about it. But if his relatives have done nothing, it is certain that he is going to be punished, so for one year they drag the soul to the kingdom of the Lord of Death. At first they brought it within ten days because they wanted to know what was happening. When it is certain that it is going to be punished, they drag it, pull it, scratch and beat it, and it will be hungry and thirsty and bleeding. That is why another ceremony is done after one year; it takes one year for the soul to return to the abode of Yama. The varshika (annual) ceremony is very important. If nothing has been done on the tenth to thirteenth days after the passing of the soul, at least something should be done on the anniversary so that some mercy may be granted by Lord Yama before the sentence is passed.

If the soul has no merit at all, it will be sent to the land of punishment, whatever the punishment be. In the Srimad Bhagavata Mahapurana, the Garuda Purana, etc., the type of punishment and difficulties that the soul has to undergo are described in such gory language that we would not like to be born into this world again.

When the soul is expunged of all its sins by suffering in the prison of Yama's hell, it is released. It is said that then it is sent to Rudraloka, and will not be allowed to leave. To release the soul from Rudra's clutches, Rudra Yajna is done. Then it is sent to Vaikuntha, so Vishnu Yajna is done; and after many, many years, the soul attains moksha. This is how a bad person gets purified in a very painful way, and then finally attains blessedness.

Or, if the soul has a tremendous attachment to relations and to wealth, it can be reborn into this world. A Muslim gentleman lived near a house in which a Hindu family had a little baby. The baby was very beautiful. The Muslim wanted to fondle it, sit it on his lap, but the Hindus would not allow the Muslim to touch the baby, which greatly disturbed him. The child grew up, and then the Muslim died. This child, which had grown up, started talking in Persian.

They asked, “What is this matter? Who are you?”

He replied, “I am that Muslim gentleman who wanted to caress this child, and you didn't allow it; and now I am possessing it!”

This is the effect of attachments. And very intense attachments, which do not even give the soul time to take birth in this world, convert it into a ghost. Preta yoni is the outcome and, as described in the Bhagavata Purana, it hovers around in space, hungry and thirsty.

Here the Bhagavadgita describes the more glorious paths to the higher realms. Those who are not spiritually awakened but have done immensely good deeds reach a lower kingdom called Chandraloka, the realm of the moon, where they stay invisibly and enjoy the fruit of their good deeds. When the momentum of their good deeds, charitable deeds, etc., is exhausted, they come back into this world. But if a person is spiritually awakened and is not merely a good man—not merely a charitable or a philanthropic person—then the path is different. These two paths are called the northern path and the southern path.

Yatra kāle tvanāvṛttim āvṛttiṁ caiva yoginaḥ, prayātā yānti taṁ kālaṁ vakṣyāmi bharatarṣabha (8.23): “I shall now tell you,” says Bhagavan Sri Krishna, “about that path treading which one returns, and that path treading which one does not return. These two paths I shall describe to you now— uttaramarga or jyotirmarga, and dakshinamarga or dhumamarga , as they are called.”

Agnir jotir ahaḥ śuklaḥ ṣaṇmāsā uttarāyaṇam, tatra prayātā gacchanti brahma brahmavido janāḥ (8.24): Everything is filled with light, everything is filled with divinity, and everything is superintended over by a divinity. The fire of cremation—that is the agni , the physical fire, which has a divinity of its own—assumes a divine form in the case of a person who is to rise up to the celestial realms. Then there is a divinity superintending over the daytime, in contrast with the night. If a person passes away during the daytime, and during the bright half of the lunar month, and during the northern movement of the sun, he shall reach the solar orb—Suryaloka. From there, he will be taken up further.

The Upanishads describe many more stages than the ones mentioned here. And at a particular stage beyond the sun, a superhuman entity is supposed to come and take the soul by the hand. Up to the solar orb, or even a little beyond, is called the realm of lightning. That is, beyond the sun, the lightning of Brahmaloka flashes forth. The individuality consciousness of the soul slowly gets diminished at that time, and it is not aware of any self-effort. It does not know that it is moving at all, inasmuch as the ego is almost gone. It is said that at that time an amanava purusha deputed by Brahma himself comes down in a luminous form, and leads the soul to the abode of Brahma, the Creator. This is the path of krama mukti , or gradual liberation, in which the soul is supposed to be glorying in Brahmaloka until Brahma himself is dissolved at the end of time—at the end of a hundred years of his life—and then the Absolute Brahman is reached.

But there is a possibility of immediate salvation without passing through all these stages—a hundredfold promotion, as it were. It is the dissolution of the soul in the supreme Brahman at this very spot. The soul need not have to travel in space and time because it is a jivanmukta purusha , one who has attained to a consciousness where there is no distance to be travelled. For him, there is no solar orb or anything else. He has spread his consciousness everywhere, in all beings: sarvabhūtahite ratāḥ (12.4). He is the soul of all beings, like Suka Maharishi, Vyasa, Vasishtha, etc. When his soul spreads itself everywhere in the cosmos, where is the question of moving? Na tasya prāṇā utkrāmanti (B.U. 4.4.6): His pranas do not depart, as is the case of other people. Brahmaiva san brahmāpyeti : They dissolve here, just now. That is, the moment the soul departs the body, it enters the supreme Brahman, the Absolute, then and there, without having to pass through all these stages. But in the case of krama mukti , the graduated steps mentioned in the Bhagavadgita, it is different.

The divinity of fire, the divinity of daytime, the divinity of the lunar month's bright half, and the divinity ruling over the northern movement of the sun will take care of the soul and bring it up. In the Moksha Parva of the Mahabharata there is the story of a great ascetic who rose up from his body, and a little flame rising up through the sky could be seen. It rose higher and higher until it reached the orb of the sun, where a divine being emerged from the solar orb and received it. According to our tradition, the sun is not a material substance. It is a divinity— hiranmaya purusha —in which a golden-coloured Narayana is seated. Just as a human being is not a body, the sun is also not a body; and just as we see only the body of a person and do not see what the person is on the inside, we do not see divinity of the sun. We see only its outer appearance, which we call helium, atomic energy, etc., in just the same way as we call a person bone and flesh, nerves, blood, etc.—which is not a correct description. So there is something beyond the human concept here. Divinities are everywhere in the cosmos, in every atom, which is also controlled and enveloped by the universal God. If God is everywhere, why should He not be in every atom and in everything? In the case of such a realisation, there is immediate dissolution.

Dhūmo rātris tathā kṛṣṇaḥ ṣaṇmāsā dakṣiṇāyanam, tatra cāndramasaṁ jyotir yogī prāpya nivartate (8.25). There are those who have not spiritually awakened themselves, have not done spiritual meditation, and have an insufficient devotion to God. Even if they are very good people, highly charitable and humanistic in their approach, they will not be allowed to move along this northern path to the sun. They will not go to Brahmaloka. They will go to a lower realm, called Chandraloka. The smoke which rises from the fire during cremation will be their guiding principle. The dark half of the lunar month, and the southern movement of the sun, signify a deficiency in divine powers and a lesser chance of the soul going up along the path of brightness. It will reach Chandraloka, where it will enjoy the fruits of the good deeds it has done. Whatever good deeds were done will have their effect. Every action produces a reaction. Any good, charitable deed will bring the soul an abundance of joy in Chandraloka; but the soul will come back, because anyone who has not realised the universality of God will come back. Only a soul who is totally devoted to God will gradually pass through these stages of divine ordinances to the Ultimate Being. But if we are united with God here itself, we will immediately merge into God.

Śuklakṛṣṇe gatī hyete jagataḥ śāśvate mate (8.26). Broadly speaking, these are two paths of the soul after death. Either we go that way or we go this way, according to our karma and our spiritual status. Śuklakṛṣṇe gatī hyete jagataḥ śāśvate mate, ekayā yāty anāvṛttim anyayāvartate punaḥ : By the one path, one does not come back to this world; by the other path, one returns.

Naite sṛtī pārtha jānan yogī muhyati kaścana, tasmāt sarveṣu kāleṣu yogayukto bhavārjuna (8.27). Having known clearly that these are the two paths, who would like to tread the lesser path? “Therefore, be a yogi, O Arjuna, and try to tread the upper path.” Whoever knows the merits and demerits of these two paths will certainly pursue the path of merit rather than the path of demerit. It is the lack of knowledge that prevents us from working for our own salvation. But if we know that such a thing exists, and that even after death our karmas will pursue us wherever we go—that even if we go to the nether regions, we will be caught by the nemesis of our actions, the results of what we have done, because there is a law which punishes us—we will obey the law. And if we know that there are these two paths, and there is a chance of our entering into the lower one, we will certainly work to attain the higher one. Knowing this, we will certainly become wiser and, therefore, work for a state of establishment in yoga—union with the divinities in the various graduated scales of development, or with the Supreme Absolute itself, whatever the case may be. Either way, one will be a supreme yogi who is united with the Absolute now, or one will be a graduated yogi who will move systematically through the stages mentioned. Anyway, knowing this, one will not come to grief. Tasmāt sarveṣu kāleṣu yogayukto bhavārjuna : “Therefore, become a yogi, Arjuna!”

Vedeṣu yajñeṣu tapaḥsu caiva dāneṣu yat puṇyaphalaṁ pradiṣṭam, atyeti tat sarvam idaṁ viditvā yogī paraṁ sthānam upaiti cādyam (8.28). These discourses that you are hearing now as satsanga —the knowledge of these wonderful things beyond this world that you are gaining—is greater than all the good deeds that you do by way of charity, and all the sacrifices that you perform. All the merits that you will accrue by doing charity, good deeds and even the study of scriptures like the Vedas, and by doing austerity and living an abstemious life will bring you some good results. But this phala of satsanga , the blessing of this highly purifying training that your soul is undergoing by listening to these glorious eternal realities, certainly has a greater capacity to produce an effect than all the charities, studies and scriptures, etc. It transcends even the Vedas, and you attain to that place, that abode, which is the Ancient One. With this, we conclude the Eighth Chapter.

The After Journey

A survivor’s guide after the death of a loved one by suicide.

Print Edition and Kindle Available Here

Free download available here.

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Scroll down to see praise for The After Journey

The After Journey is a short guide for all those who lost a loved one to suicide along with a chapter for those who are supporting survivors. Written by Jenny and Harry Bruell seven years after losing their daughter to suicide, the After Journey provides a mix of personal stories with a compassionate and objective look at nine aspects of the After Journey.

The print edition is sold at just the cost of printing. You can download a pdf for free below. Please share with others who could benefit.

Click here for a review from the New Hampshire Coalition for Suicide Prevention.

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Praise for The After Journey

"This book by the Bruells has impressed me more than any of the other 'how-to-grieve' books I've ever read. First, it's suicide specific; grieving the loss of someone who died by suicide presents issues that others may never need to deal with: stigma and shame, trauma, and more. Next, the authors offer sensible, practical information about those issues sharing what they’ve learned through experience. Their respectful approach is gentle and respectful. Finally, the book’s organized in a logical way, and it’s written clearly and without excessive details that sometimes bog down readers. This is also the perfect book to guide participants in a support group dealing with grief after suicide. The topics invite sharing, discussion, and help in choosing a path to resolution." Karyl Chastain Beal, Founder of Parents of Suicide and Friends & Family of Suicide

“This is a beautiful book! Thank you so much for your vulnerability and openness in writing it. The personal stories are profound, the shared stories are thoughtful, and the bits of humor are relieving.” S.B.

“I am impressed with how many of my questions after my son’s suicide that you answered.” I.W.

“I have read your book twice now. I intend on reading your book many times. I felt encouraged knowing that I am not alone. I was encouraged to know that I am not grieving “wrong”. This is my grief and how I own it belongs to me.” J.M.

NEWS... BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT

After my near-death experience I learned an important lesson about joy

Share this with

People say childbirth is something you’ll never forget. 

But I actually have little to no recollection of my baby’s entrance into the world whatsoever. 

It was 2021 and I had critical Covid , so I struggled to breathe. I was scared, confused and wished that the entire thing would be over.

I ended up needing an emergency C-section , then being put in an induced coma. That’s when I went into cardiac arrest and doctors told my loved ones that I had a 5% chance of survival.

But I lived. Unfortunately, it would be three months until I was reunited with my baby.

As a result of this ordeal, my mental health suffered immeasurably. That’s why I’m so passionate about speaking out about it – especially this Mental Health Awareness Week.

Growing up, my mental health was OK on the surface. This is because I learned from a very young age how to pretend everything was fine.

Things reached a boiling point in my late teens though so I started counselling for the first time, which continued on-and-off in my early 20s.

By my mid-20s in 2016, this ramped up to weekly sessions of private therapy, which has been my lifeline ever since. I need to feel heard, understood and not judged – and therapy is the best place for that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/C5iRBc6A3Yk/?hl=en

On top of that, I also journal, take supplements, get outside and try to get enough sleep.

My pregnancy towards the end of 2020 went mostly smoothly. But by mid-December – when I was seven months pregnant – I began to feel unwell. I had a fever and couldn’t hold down food.

That’s when doctors advised me to go to hospital, where I ended up having my baby prematurely, then being put into a coma. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.

After I properly woke up in mid-February – three months after being induced – my mental health was at an all-time low.

So I actually restarted therapy from my hospital bed, as soon as I could speak again. On top of that, I tried to take medication, but the sweating side effect was too much for me to bear so I stopped that.

My son was the biggest motivator throughout it all. After being discharged, he continues to be my light.

Over time, a really big realisation for me has been the fact that I am deserving of feeling joy, peace and contentment after all the trauma. Nobody needs to mentally suffer.

Relaying this important message is why I’m an ambassador for the charity, Mind. The organisation gives advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem, as well as campaigns to improve services and raise awareness.

With 1.9million people on the waiting list for mental health support, there’s such a need for tangible action and change. That means more funding from people at the top.

We also need more support for community centres and youth clubs , as well as training for teachers, the police and people who work in the public sector.

We need better social housing, rent control and childcare that doesn’t cost more than a mortgage.

This Mental Health Awareness Week, I want to talk about something that can actually feel really difficult. 

Money worries, relationship breakdowns, childhood trauma, and work stress can make life tough. Throw in motherhood, terminal illness or severe mental health problems and every day can feel like a struggle.

So grab onto the little things that make you happy.

The deep breath you take when your medication starts working. The rain that soaks you on your woodland walk. The baby that stares at you, then giggles while you’re doing your big food shop.

It is the familiar smell of the man you love who bought you some chocolate when things seemed just a little too heavy. It is finding comfort in a cup of tea, the birds chirping, or the random person who smiles at you as you cross the street.

Whatever your circumstance, whatever stories you tell yourself that make you feel undeserving, whatever fight you’re facing – joy is there waiting.

Ease into the small and simple acts of love, freedom and achieving the impossible.

After my near-death experience, I proved doctors wrong. I survived.

Now I’m making the most of it. Everyday is a second chance or an opportunity to start again.

Everyday is a moment you can decide to live.

More from Metro

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Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected] . 

Share your views in the comments below.

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Stacey Dash Invites Reluctant Fans On Her Sober-Living Journey After Beating Pill Addiction as Her Baffling Reaction To DMX’s Death Resurfaces

Stacey Dash says there is no truth to speculation that her happy-go-lucky demeanor is the result of drug use. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

The “Clueless” actress rounded up some of the comments she has received on TikTok that questioned her sobriety years after she came clean about prescription drug abuse.

In a new video, she highlighted remarks that read, “Stacey are you high,” “what in the drug is going on here,” “the pills again,” and “Stacey back on DRUGS? Needs some HEAVENLY help big time,” all the while appearing wide-eyed with a joy-filled smile cemented on her face.

“Thank you so much for all of your concern. I just want to say that I’m doing really good. I am seven years and nine months clean. Yay,” she said in response to the comments. Dash continued, “I’m going to start sharing on here my journey of my transformation of my body, my mind, and my spirit. And I would love for you to take this journey with me, and I hope by doing this I help somebody else, ‘cause I know the struggles real. God bless you.”

@official.staceydash I’m going to start sharing more about my recovery journey and what I do to stay healthy (mind, body and spirit) I hope that my story can help someone who might be struggling right now. God bless. ♬ original sound – Stacey Dash

A supportive reaction to her updated read, “7 years! that’s amazing! so excited to be on this journey with you.” A second fan commented, “You are still so beautiful, and that is good that you are clean keep it up.”

Three years ago, the former Fox News correspondent admitted to taking between 18 and 20 Vicodin a day. “It was my choice to take that extra one even though I wasn’t in pain. I chose to do that because the Vicodin filled that hole inside of me,” she told Dr. Oz when she appeared on his daytime talk show in 2021.

“It filled that anger. It calmed that anger down. It slowed my brain down. It gave me the ease so that I could deal with life. That’s how I became addicted. It’s no one’s fault but my own,” she said, adding that she lost “everything” due to the vice.

Yet, in the midst of people applauding her for reaching nearly eight years of sobriety, there were individuals who still found it hard to believe that she kicked her addiction for good.

Stacey Dash gets emotional after finding out DMX passed away over a year after his death, from overdosing. pic.twitter.com/LHUYQQEPQn — The Info Spot (@TheInfoSpot) August 31, 2022

“STACEY no journey will be taken with you. Sincerely management,” wrote one person. Another said, “Is this true? Cause didn’t she come on here over a year later crying about why nobody told her DMX died? Shouldn’t she have been clean and clear headed then ?”

The former “ Single Ladies ” star left many baffled in 2022 when she disclosed that she had just learned of DMX’s passing. The Ruff Ryders rapper passed away due to complications from a cocaine overdose in April 2021. How the headline managed to evade her for a year is unknown, but her tears and need to find comfort in gospel music proved the tragedy had a big impact on her.

Still, the notion that her sober mind could miss cultural news of that magnitude made way for snarky statements made at her expense. “That’s good! I wonder did she hear about Tupac yet though,” read one. “Somebody tell her Oj died” and “Stacey you know Michael Jackson passed” were two more that poked fun at her.

Another person wrote, “I hope apart of this journey includes you finally acknowledging that you are a BLACK woman.” Two years ago, while a part of the “College Hill: Celebrity Edition” cast, Dash faced backlash for not identifying as Black while in an African American studies course at Texas Southern University, a historically Black institution.

Race and related topics have been a point of contention between her and critics, given her layered past of problematic conservative views, which includes her wanting to do away with Black History Month. However, she later apologized for allowing her private struggles to influence how she used her public persona in ways that did not uplift the culture.

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‘I Wasn’t Really Trying to Fight Her’: LisaRaye Denies Nearly Coming to Blows with ‘Single Ladies’ Co-Star Stacey Dash, Who Brought Security on Set

A rare songbird’s epic journey from the edge of extinction back to the L.A. River

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As visitors to a bustling park in northeast Los Angeles shot hoops, scrambled up play equipment and lounged in manicured grass, an endangered songbird covertly — but not quietly — did his part to stave off extinction.

The least Bell’s vireo, a small, mostly gray songbird, was on the verge of nesting in Rio de Los Angeles State Park, a green respite that supplanted an abandoned railyard along the L.A. River. The bird with a wingspan of just seven inches was singing passionately, an act that marked its territory as breeding season picked up in mid-March. Its song rings out like a clinking question-and-answer: “Cheedle-cheedle-chee? Cheedle-cheedle-chew!”

“It’s persistent. It’s a survivor,” said Nicolas Gonzalez, senior communications manager for migration science at the National Audubon Society, an avian conservation nonprofit, who helped identify the bird as it flitted between trees, blending into the muted spring sky.

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Bird boosters, meanwhile, were hustling to get the grounds in order.

Evelyn “Evy” Serrano enthusiastically instructed two volunteers at Rio de Los Angeles, which is in the Glassell Park neighborhood, on how to create what looked like moats of soil around fledgling native plants. Serrano, director of the Audubon Center at Debs Park , another urban oasis, explained that the berms would funnel water to the mule fat, black sage, golden currant, sycamore trees and other native foliage the least Bell’s vireo needs to thrive. Certain plants provide cover and nest materials, while others attract yummy insects.

1. Evelyn Serrano of the Audubon Center at Debs Park strolls at Rio de Los Angeles State Park in March. 2. A volunteer removes weeds. 3. Nicolas Gonzalez of the National Audubon Society pulls weeds among blooming sunflowers. 4. Audubon’s Rachel Bailey pulls up nonnative clover. (Brian van der Brug / Los Angeles Times)

So far, the literal dirty work seems to be paying off. A lone least Bell’s vireo was documented at the park when the habitat restoration effort targeting the species began about two years ago, Serrano said. Within a year, there were four — two nesting pairs. Last year, they counted three fledglings.

“Sometimes it takes a really long time to see the change,” Serrano said. “It was really nice to see it happen so quickly.”

Stakeholders see the migratory birds’ rebound in the park and surrounding areas as a testament to what can happen when people come together to make positive change and natural environments are supported. It also suggests that people can live in harmony with nature — even in highly urbanized areas.

But significant legwork preceded the recent local triumph, and what can be seen as historic missteps were walked back. Meanwhile, there are new and old threats.

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Once abundant in California’s riverside woodlands, the silver-tongued, whitish-bellied least Bell’s vireo vanished from most of its range by the 1980s, remaining only in Southern California and northern Baja California, according to the U.S. Geological Survey . (The birds are the smallest of four subspecies of Bell’s vireo .)

The ranks plummeted amid the extensive loss of their preferred riparian habitat. Dams went up and wetlands were drained, people encroached on wildlands, and agriculture expanded. In 1999, The Times reported that California had lost 97% of its riparian woodlands, more than any other state. Parasitism by brown-headed cowbirds , which lay eggs in vireo nests, contributed to the decline. California listed the bird as endangered in 1980, and federal officials followed suit in 1986.

About 20 years after the least Bell’s vireo gained federal protection, the California population increased almost tenfold, from 291 to 2,968 pairs, according to federal wildlife officials. Now the birds are popping up in areas where they haven’t been seen in years, sometimes even decades.

The Rio de Los Angeles park site was once part of the floodplain of the nearby Los Angeles River — prime vireo real estate. Then came the concrete. Catastrophic floods, including one in 1938 that killed more than 100 people and delayed the Oscars, prompted the waterway to be paved over.

That ushered in a period of about 60 to 70 years “where you would never have seen a least Bell’s vireo anywhere near downtown,” said Dan Cooper, deputy executive officer and senior conservation biologist for the Resource Conservation District of the Santa Monica Mountains.

A turning point arrived in the late 1990s and early 2000s, he said, when restoration work along the river began, and government agencies started clearing less habitat in the channel. Cooper, a San Gabriel Valley native, joined Friends of the L.A. River just as the nonprofit was launched by poet Lewis MacAdams .

Two years ago, Cooper was shocked to trace the birds to a pocket park lodged between the river and the roaring 5 Freeway. There was a youngster accompanying the adult making a begging call for food and attention.

“Its song is so distinctive, and it really cuts through all the din of the city noise,” Cooper said. “I could hear it above the traffic.”

On a podcast , Cooper calls it a “scratchy phrase that goes up and then goes down.” He added: “It was described to me as, ‘You take the ball, give it to me; I take the ball, give it to you.’”

The same year, Cooper said, a territory cropped up at a picnic area in Elysian Park. He said Chavez Ravine was likely once a “nice little riparian spring” replete with blackberries and other goodies.

“Once they start kind of reclaiming their prior territory, they seem to be spreading out into places we don’t necessarily expect to find them, like Elysian Park,” he said. It appears 2022 marked when the birds “sort of exploded” in the area.

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Marcos Trinidad, senior director of forestry at TreePeople, remembers hearing the unmistakable tune while strolling through Rio de Los Angeles around 2015 . Trinidad, who learned the call by listening to a CD he burned featuring classical music interspersed with birdsongs, recalled thinking, “Whoa, wait, is that really happening here?”

At the time, he was director of the Audubon Center at Debs Park, and he was able to secure funding about two years later that allowed for consistent habitat restoration events.

A National Fish and Wildlife Foundation grant funds the restoration happening today, Serrano said. In addition to Audubon, the work is supported by California State Parks, Los Angeles River State Park Partners, Theodore Payne Foundation and Terremoto. Other groups, such as Friends of the L.A. River, carry out nearby restoration efforts that benefit the birds.

Rio de Los Angeles is a fairly young park; it opened in 2007 on Taylor Yard, a former Union Pacific railroad maintenance depot. Tracks still border one side of the park, and trains hurtle by in deafening bursts.

A contentious compromise between city and state officials birthed a unique park: Reconstructed wetlands lush with native flora border facilities that include a soccer field, recreation building and playground. Most visitors are unaware they’re walking their pooch or dribbling a ball yards from what has become refuge for an embattled songbird.

Those with historical knowledge of the area logged the change. An employee with L.A.’s Department of Recreation and Parks showed a Times reporter a satellite image that apparently captured the area before it was rehabbed. Trees were sparse.

“There was nothing here, and they revitalized it,” said the employee, who was working at the park.

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Gray and orange fencing now rises in parts of Rio de Los Angeles State Park, barriers between nesting activity and the public. As of mid-May, two nests were confirmed. Serrano, in an email, said “our bird friend” continued to sing “a whole lot.”

Moses Goldfarb, 31, was unaware of the vireo when he arrived at the park on a sunny day in April to play tennis. The Seattle transplant, who works in the film industry, expressed surprise that the park was home to “anything other than just a standard city bird.”

Ariana Martinez, 23, who was lounging on a grassy patch, was less thrown by the revelation that the songbird was near. Since discovering the more naturalistic side of the park a few months ago, she frequents it, along with her young nephew and elderly dog.

Given all the trees and ambient bird sounds, “I feel like it makes sense for them to be here,” she said.

Candice Dickens-Russell, chief executive of Friends of the L.A. River, said nature is especially thriving in three areas of the river where those who paved it couldn’t get the concrete to stick: near Long Beach, the Sepulveda Basin and Glendale Narrows. She said it’s those places where the least Bell’s vireo and other species are making a comeback.

“There is definitely a link between a lack of concrete and biodiversity,” she said, adding that the nonprofit is advocating for strategic removal of concrete in areas of the river where it’s safe to do so.

Preserving the least Bell’s vireo, of course, goes beyond the river.

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A group spanning academic, military and conservation partners is developing a model to examine all identified threats to the bird “in a kind of holistic way over space and time so we can say what are the major threats that need to be managed and where,” said Casey Lott, a consultant for the project who owns Conservation Science and Data Visualization.

Several of the birds’ largest remaining nesting habitats are on U.S. Department of Defense training areas and in U.S. Army Corps of Engineers flood control basins, and managing them in accordance with federal wildlife law is costly and disruptive to agency operations, according to an overview of the project . (In 1986, a pair of wildlife biologists penned an op-ed for The Time s pushing back on what they described as unfair “villification” of the bird after it earned federal protections, which some blamed for derailing projects.)

Lott said the birds are on the rise, estimating that there are between 4,630 and 5,125 pairs, but they haven’t established themselves in the Central Valley, once believed to be the heart of their range. According to Lott, there’s ample habitat for them there, as well as in other areas in the state, but they remain stymied by cowbirds. Meanwhile, they’re expanding in areas where cowbirds are amply trapped.

“So we can increase the population now with a whole lot of cowbird control,” Lott said. “But if the species is delisted and those efforts stop, it’s hard to imagine it not going back to dire straits.”

The model, which will take into account climate change and other emerging threats, is expected to be completed in 2026.

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Lila Seidman is a reporter focused on California wildlife and the outdoors for the Los Angeles Times. Since joining The Times in 2020, she has investigated mental health policy and jumped on breaking news. A native Angeleno, Seidman holds a bachelor’s degree from Reed College and a master’s degree from Pepperdine University.

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